So I've been dating this guy for a few months. And he has consistently treated me very well, wants to see me all the time, texts/emails daily, wants...
So I've been dating this guy for a few months. And he has consistently treated me very well, wants to see me all the time, texts/emails daily, wants me to hang out with him and his friends, and is just generally very sweet and reliable. I have been keeping my distance though, and not letting my emotions take over my judgment, because he cheated a lot in the past and was a big player.
I found out a few details on my own, and he also admits to this stuff. He insists that he feels differently about me and that he never wanted commitment until he met me. He says he's tired of that lifestyle. And so far his actions have backed up his words.
I'm scared to get in too deep with him. Knowing he was (is?) a player makes it sound like he's just giving me a line and telling me what I want to hear. But he has been so consistent that I'm starting to think he might be for real? And he would have to be a pretty f--ked up person to keep up a game like this if he's just playing me, right?
So I guess my question is, do players really change like this? He just turned 25 by the way. Are there any things I should look out for that can let me know what's really happening or what he really wants? Advice from the 'players' (girls or guys) would be much appreciated too :)
Thanks everyone for your responses. Obviously I need to be cautious. He is just so convincing and I'd like to believe he's 'innocent until proven guilty'... but I also need to protect myself.
Dont forget that players are extremely charming and will generally sweep you off your feet in the beginning-too good to be true almost,they will tell you everything you want to hear to reel you in-its part of the game.
If you find yourself thinking he's perfect and too good to be true-he probably is.
They also tend to say "your different,i never wanted to commit until I met you" what else can they say afterall-"Im still a player id just like to play you now"?
Imo players very rarely change,only the woman they are playing does.
Also,its not a f-ked up game to them its a challenge-chase it,catch it-move on to the next.
Listen to your instinct.
Im not a player myself but I did waste a lot of time on one ;o)
Update: "He is just so convincing and I'd like to believe.."
If a player wasn't convincing, his player-career wouldn't go (have gone) far. Of course a player will try to make you to like to believe whatever he tells you.
See him as a salesman. A good salesman can sell cars, computers, shoes, mortgages, investment funds (just knowing the basics about what he sells) or HIMSELF. This the reason is why good salesmen have high incomes: they first sell themselves to the employer -at the best price, of course!), then themselves to the customer, then they sell the products from their employer to the customer.
I was told the same thing by a guy who claimed he "used" to be a player. But, my judgement was right. He did not change which is why I let him go. I'd say in most cases, people do not change. They are just so used to doing what they are doing but in other cases, they do. Maybe since he is 25 and becoming older, he is starting to see his lifestyle will not be able to go on forever. But best of luck hopefully he does change :)