Guys, how long would you wait for sex?

[Anonymous]

How long after you start dating a girl would you be willing wait before the two of you started having sex?

[AleDeEurope]

If she's someone that had casual sex, I wouldn't wait more than a month.
If she never did that, I would wait maybe 2-3 months, depends on the situation, but I wouldn't like waiting though. If she's not having sex with me, is she getting it somewhere else?

[USMC-Crossroads]

As long as it takes. I couldn't care less about sex, if I enjoy spending time with her. Sex takes up such a small fraction of the time men and women spend together. It's importance in a relationship is way overblown (no pun intended).

[BearyCute]

I totally agree. If I like a girl, sure she can look nice, but I want to enjoy her for her personality. If sex is all you care about, you aren't worth her time.

[DiamondKarma]

@BearyCute This makes me have a big smile on my face :) I thought there are just too many guys using girls only cause they want sex.

[BearyCute]

@DiamondKarma Glad to see you appreciate it. It's a shame our generation is so corrupted.

[apple24]

I would wait forever

[Xelebrum]

I'd be willing to wait until marriage if she wanted to.

[Bandit74]

If she's inexperienced then I'd wait up to 6 months, if she's had sex right away with other guys, then I'd prefer that she has sex with me right away too.

I'd feel pathetic if I waited 2 months before she wanted to sleep with me if some guy she met on tinder was able to get her to want sex on the 3Rd date. I don't want to date a girl who was more excited to sleep with some guy she met on tinder than she is to sleep with me.

[judgingyhu]

I feel you but at the same time like you gotta understand that if she doesn't wanna you can't be upset or get hurt. If she's genuinely with you and just wants to keep waitin it's probably for a good reason even if at one point she slept with someone else pretty quick.

[Anonymous]

I'm saving myself for Jesus. So until she's willing to put on the beard and robe.

I'm stupid patient. Months? Until I get bored and find a different girl I'd rather pursue and break it off cause she's turning into just a friend if she hasn't had sex with me yet.

[Anonymous]

I would wait probly around a month... Mayb two... Assuming there is at least some making out in that time... It is important to not just give it up... But too long makes it seem like your not interested... It depends on when you feel comfortable tho... If you want to, do it... But not just cuz he keeps begging for it

[Yumix]

I don't have a minimum time, whenever it feels right. that can be on the first date or months later... it's okay for me if she wants to wait, but if it's longer than a year it might become a problem...

[ImNotCreativeEither]

Not too long. If I'm not getting laid by the fourth date, there won't be a fifth. But the biggest reason for that is that I hate feeling like a girl and I aren't on the same page.

[06CuriousMind]

What if she was a virgin?

[Bliss-taylor]

Well if he's dating people around his age, there aren't many that are virgins. So more than likely she won't be. If he dates younger well then I agree 4 dates is definitely not long enough. But I think as long as it's not expecting it the first date or 2 then it doesn't make the guy seem like a horrible person. It just means he won't be the ONE for some women.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

@Bliss-taylor True, I don't really encounter any virgins. And any virgins who are in the age range I date are probably not for me. They're either ultra-religious or their lifestyles and views on sex are just so different from mine that we wouldn't mesh (not a judgment call, just saying).

The issue I've encountered when I date girls my age is that they are reluctant to have sex because they're ready to settle down and they figure somehow that's a good way to keep a guy around. I don't go along with it because sex is just such an important part of dating to me that it just takes me out of it if it's not there, and I don't see it as this sacred thing that needs to be postponed. It just feels too formal and unnatural for me not to have sex with someone I'm dating.

On the other hand, I like the idea of a girl who's not giving it up to everyone. So I guess on some level I'm conflicted.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

@Bliss-taylor OR the girls my age who hold off on sex don't do it because they're afraid they'll get attached, especially since they're ready to settle down. Either way, it just feels like the girl is holding back and putting up barriers. And like I said in my original comment, which has somehow been downvoted by five girls, I hate the feeling that we're not on the same page.

[Bliss-taylor]

Your not wrong for having your feels, everything you've said makes sense. I also believe you would wait a bit longer if you're really into her because you said you're conflicted about wanting a girl that doesn't just spread them a lot. To get that and be sure she doesn't sleep around would be to wait a little bit more than 4 dates. Lol
Sometimes women just don't have sex within the first few dates because they need to get comfortable. I mean sex is as physically personal as it gets. Personally I wait until I'm falling in love and it just feels right. I don't believe in love at first sight and 4 dates wouldn't be enough to get me there. But for you to look for someone who views it as you isn't wrong. I don't know why you got so many down votes honestly.

[Anonymous]

Since the majority of women will at some point have a one night stand with a guy who she doesn't know, and who hasn't put in the time and effort to deserve the prize, then it's obvious that it isn't as important a commodity as they pretend it is when they want to fake morals. SO I wait a week tops, If I'm jumpin through the hoops, I expect the reward.

[homper87]

That's really lame, I'm sorry. 1. Don't jump through hoops for people unless you care about them 2. When you do something for someone, don't expect anything in return. 3. Some women are actually virgins and want to wait until marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

@homper87 It's lame to you because you are a female. Women make men do shit tests, it's just how they are, you might not even realize it.
If you want us to play a game, then we expect there to be a reward for putting up with the bullshit.

Women who are virgins and want to wait til marriage need to look inside the religious circle they are from where sexually suppressed males reside. But when you find out he is a fucked up idiot like Josh Duggar because his natural sexual urges have been forced into suppression, then you will realize its a stupid ideal to hold.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

@homper87 Don't forget it's not all about what the women want. Dating is a two way street. Sex isn't just some dirty thing some guys like to do. It's a biological need. And don't sit there and tell me you don't know damn well that there are plenty of girls who will string guys along for the attention or the validation and give them NOTHING in return. Using words like "in return" or "reward," as the commenter did, sounds really cheap. But the fact is that girls need to be conscious of guys' needs, just like we need to be conscious of yours. We also have our insecurities, and if I'm dating a girl I know has casually slept with a few guys but won't let me sleep with her after I've been good to her and as I'm trying to get to know her and build something meaningful, it really hits a nerve. And that doesn't make it cheap or piggish.

[homper87]

@ImNotCreativeEither Sex isn't dirty at all! It's beautiful and amazing! Not a need though... that's why there are monks and asexual people. Some girls will casually sleep with people they don't want to be serious with, but will stop when they meet someone they love bc they want it to be different.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

@homper87 yeah there are asexual people but they are few and far between, and they're not who we're talking about here. Monks have to have an incredible amount of discipline and devotion to God to stay celibate. Most people need some kind of sexual activity, even if it's just with themselves.

I get that some girls do that, and speaking objectively, there's nothing wrong with it. But men have egos and they can be fragile, even if they act tough. And egos aren't objective; something like that can hurt them.

[homper87]

@ImNotCreativeEither of course! I'm just saying it's not all black and white and this opinion owner is being rude to people who think differntly than he does.

[Opinion Owner]

@homper87 It's not a need for women... women NEED other things, some material and some emotional from a guy. The way you long for a guy who treats you like a queen, we long for sex. Don't simply disregard something simply because you don't understand it from the other perspective. Male NEED sex, it's a biological drive, an urge and a desire which we can not simply shut off like women do until they get enough of the other needs to activate it with a male. That's the problem with women, yes all women... You can never see past your own mindset. Males and females are different... period! What you NEED isn't what we NEED.
Being asexual is like being homosexual it's not a male choice. Monks have the urges and they suppress them, it's not a healthy thing and masturbation still occurs. No release has real physiological effects as well as physical side affects.

[ImNotCreativeEither]

@homper87 I personally have a real problem with the idea of a girl I like making it easy for other guys to fuck them. A girl I've been dating recently told me that when she was in high school, she made a point to let her gym teacher know that she had turned 18 and was now legal. He pulled her out of class the next day and she thought it was going to happen but didn't. She also told me about a random guy she friended on Facebook then sent him a drunk message telling him how hot she thought he was. There's absolutely nothing wrong with her doing either of these things, and they were both before she met me (in fact I kind of took her from the second guy), but it bothers me nonetheless. There's just something about some lucky guy stumbling across someone like a pot of gold I don't like. And something about her becoming submissive to another man's advances. I know it's my problem and not hers, but that doesn't mean I can easily put it out of my mind.

[Opinion Owner]

@homper87 I'm not being rude. Where am I being rude? If you choose to take offense of something you don't agree with, that's your issue. It doesn't mean I am being rude.

[homper87]

I'm not offended, I have to care for you to offend me.

[homper87]

@ImNotCreativeEither I'd almost take that as a compliment. She saw those people as hookups and you as long-term. Guys do the same thing sometimes.

[Opinion Owner]

@homper87 "opinion owner is being rude to people who think differntly than he does" <-- You said this... if you think what I say is rude, then you have chosen to take it the wrong way simply because you disagree with it. It doesn't make it less true.

[scottishgentleman]

As long as it takes for my partner to feel comfortable.. There's no point rushing and ruining things.

[Mark16]

I would wait as long as she wants me to, but if she's hot and not like a total bitch I would "do" her on the first date

[ThatTomGuuy]

Untill she's comfortable with it, If I start loving someone, sex isn't the only thing I want if you know what I mean

[dudeman]

depends on the girl. if she's a virgin i wait till she's comfortable if she's not i wait I don't know a date or two.

[Marinepilot]

One month and not a nanosecond longer. If it isn't happening by then, I end it.
in my opinion waiting any longer is a waste of time and way too frustrating.

[A-Y-Y-Y--L-M-A-O]

however long she wanted to wait
no point in forcing

[Nomad69]

I'd be willing to wait a month. As long as we are cuddling and kissing though I could probably wait awhile longer

[abc3643]

I'd wait until marriage. I did, in fact.

[GoodTimes1968]

I'd be willing to wait until she was ready, however long that took.

[Prof_Don]

1-2 months tops, otherwise I feel that she really isn't primally attracted to me!

[Anonymous]

It depends on her prior sexual patterns and whether we are doing other sex acts.

Weeks to marriage depending on the answers.

[Anonymous]

It would depend, but I think as long as we're doing other things to take the edge off I could wait awhile.

[Ivechanged]

As long as it takes for her to be comfortable with the idea