It's something I've always struggled with. I can put up with bullshit occasionally in the real world because I have a big enough circle of friends and successful career.
However being a nice guy who gets screwed over in relationships is the most horrible, painful, depressing problem. Most "nice" guys know they have a problem... but they struggle to correct course. Most people (both men and women) will mock the "nice" guy. Hollywood and TV shows will show guys as ultimately "winning" over the assholes but in real life that most often not the case. Some women will say positive things on the surface, but subconsciously the vast majority of THEM don't respect it. They will throw out "friend zone" comments not realizing how insulting it is for a man's ego and self esteem.
Not to get too far off topic. But I've reviewing my life on why I got this problem. One of the things that recently surfaced was that I was raised by a very domineering, controlling and psychologically abusive mother. I'm finally standing up to her (cut off all contact... except for holidays) but I was raised by the role model where she ALWAYS got her fucking way. My dad is tough guy in the outside world, but he almost always caved to her. Given that she was extremely beautiful I can see how it worked. On the surface he got his dream girl (she has no addictions, infidelity, etc) but she was raised by a mother who dominated her own dad. She see's this as successful method to maintain a relationship.
Anyway I have taken too much shit from disrespectful women over the years. I also sabotaged GOOD relationships with women who legitimately liked me. I felt some sort of twisted guilt/shame about being desirable. It ironically turned me off to them. I lost out on a very good relationship 3 years ago, it was about 90% my fault it ended. I still regret that outcome today.
Anyway I'm wondering if standing up to my abusive mom is start for this. Trying to reinvent myself.
However being a nice guy who gets screwed over in relationships is the most horrible, painful, depressing problem. Most "nice" guys know they have a problem... but they struggle to correct course. Most people (both men and women) will mock the "nice" guy. Hollywood and TV shows will show guys as ultimately "winning" over the assholes but in real life that most often not the case. Some women will say positive things on the surface, but subconsciously the vast majority of THEM don't respect it. They will throw out "friend zone" comments not realizing how insulting it is for a man's ego and self esteem.
Not to get too far off topic. But I've reviewing my life on why I got this problem. One of the things that recently surfaced was that I was raised by a very domineering, controlling and psychologically abusive mother. I'm finally standing up to her (cut off all contact... except for holidays) but I was raised by the role model where she ALWAYS got her fucking way. My dad is tough guy in the outside world, but he almost always caved to her. Given that she was extremely beautiful I can see how it worked. On the surface he got his dream girl (she has no addictions, infidelity, etc) but she was raised by a mother who dominated her own dad. She see's this as successful method to maintain a relationship.
Anyway I have taken too much shit from disrespectful women over the years. I also sabotaged GOOD relationships with women who legitimately liked me. I felt some sort of twisted guilt/shame about being desirable. It ironically turned me off to them. I lost out on a very good relationship 3 years ago, it was about 90% my fault it ended. I still regret that outcome today.
Anyway I'm wondering if standing up to my abusive mom is start for this. Trying to reinvent myself.
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