Is the way a guy treats his mom a good indication of how he'll treat his girl?
Do you think the way a guy treats his mother is a good indication of how he'll treat you down the line?
My boyfriend generally doesn't mistreat his mother and is mostly
tolerant of her but him and his brother call her a bitch when she
isn't around and my boyfriend even complains about her to me.
There was even a time when she made him really angry with her nagging and he picked up his phone and yelled "F*CK MOM, I'M F*CKING 30 MILES AWAY. WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?"
He says he'd never mistreat me but as a kid I was always taught that a man will treat you no better than he treats his mother.
What do you think?
Should I break up with him?
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Most Helpful Opinion
I'm betting he just has problems controlling his temper. Oh. Plus his mother was probably annoying as hell, and so she deserved what she got.
As for the mother-girlfriend comparison, I completely disagree. I treat my mother like crap, but she's earned it. We have a mutual understanding. Long story. Anyway, I treat people as they deserve to be treated - at least in my eyes. If anyone was to judge how I'd act towards a girlfriend by looking at how my mother and I get along, they'd run away screaming. They'd also be wrong. Assuming the girlfriend hadn't been a part of all the stuff that has gone on in my family, I'd have no reason to treat her like I treat them.
What Guys Said 5
I treat strangers better than I treat my mother and I treat my friends better than I treat strangers, and I intend to treat my girlfriend better than my friends. You don't chose your mother, but you do choose your wife and my mother is a very restrictive, nagging, shrill, controlling, manipulative, racist, scheming, classist, stereotyping, judgemental, perfectionist, bossy person who has no respect for my right to say "no," no respect for my opinions and beliefs and I'm ashamed to have some of these characteristics. I haven't loved my mother at all for a while... months... but I respect her a little by saying "thank you" if she cooks a meal or does a task. I think I will feel a lot better about my girlfriend and my future wife than about my mother because I get to chose my girlfriend and I don't get to chose my mother.
I would avoid this guy based on what you've said. I can't see him not mistreating you in the future, if he hasn't already. He should at least respect you enough not to talk that way about his mother in front of you. You should go with whatever vibe you're getting from him and make the appropriate decision. For you to even ask this question means you have some doubts.
Here is one classic example to disprove this myth:
A man gets married and he immediately focuses most of his attention on his wife (as he should). His mom is almost completely ignored, because no wife wants to compete for attention with her husband's mother! As a matter of fact if the husband even gave his mother a significant amount of his attention, it wouldn't be surprising for the marriage to end in divorce. A sitcom was created to exploit the comedy in this situation: "Everybody Loves Raymond."
Plus some moms are unreasonable and want their sons to drive long distances just to do some ridiculous chores or repairs around the house. The cost of gas to drive could be the same price it costs to hire a repairman. And also it is unreasonable for a mom to ask for her son to give up his weekend and do those chores or repairs when the son has those same things to worry about with his own house or apartment. Also a son could have had a hard week at his job and he needs the weekend to actually relax for a change but the mom is being inconsiderate and continues to nag and won't allow him to relax on his weekends.
Of course I am referring to men who have grown up, moved out of the house, are on their own, and are taking care of themselves.
Not just mothers, but how does he treat other women. I've also heard to pay attention to how he treats a waitress.
Parents can sometimes have weird relationships and interactions with their kids and to judge someone based upon this may not be fair. However, I certainly don't think that his reaction with his mother is appropriate and I do believe that you will be on the receiving end eventually.
What Girls Said 2
If he doesn't respect his mom, and talks to her that way, then you know what to expect if you ever become his wife, and start, well, nagging.
We all get annoyed and frustrated by people, and end up doing, or saying stupid things.
But when we repect someone, we react differently to those feelings, and try our hardest to bite our tongue.
He is comfortable with his mom, and therefore he doesn't mind showing his true colors, to her.
I always look at the way the guy treats his mom, sister, or any woman/girl close to him. Because I know that is the treatment I will be getting too.
Oh and also look at his dad's character. Even if they say they will never be like their dad, they eventually will.
Its really upto you if you want to break up with him or not.
You can talk to him about the way he treats his mom, and make him realize things, because then he "might" change, and be more cautious of how he reacts. Or you can say bye, and find a new man. Don't give him an ultimatum though! Remember we can't change anyone.
In my experience, absolutely. I have found that the men I have been in relationships end up treating me with the same respect they treat their mothers. It is an indication of how they have been raised to respect women. Now that said I wouldn't go breaking up with him because he calls his mom a bitch when she isn't around. If he starts being condescending and disrespecting you I would put him in his place, nicely, and let him know you will not be treated that way. Trust me it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks if you let it go too long.