Should I keep pursuing a shy guy? When do guys get creeped out?

guys always claim girls cannot be creepers, but I'm in constant fear of looking like a creep! I really like this shy guy but he rarely initiates anything! it's so annoying. I feel like I'm flirty and I've texted him at random just to say wassup. he's always responsive, but then he'll just stop texting me. it kinda worries me, especially if I think we're flirting.

at any rate, I don't want to keep texting him randomly or flirting with him (very lightly, not aggressive. smiles, eye contact, simple touches here and there) because he's not asking me out. I don't want to look desperate or creepy if I text him out of the blue again. he never texts me just to say hey, so idk...

so should I keep pursuing a shy guy or will I look creepy? what does a female have to do to be a creeper?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I admire you =') I would never initiate anything with a guy or text first..

    • don't! I have no idea what I'm doing! ha ha I've NEVER initiated anything before this guy lol

    • he must be pretty special then! xD

    • yeah, he's super sweet and tall and BRILLIANT. definitely makes me think, which is awesome :)

What Guys Said 9

  • For a girl to be a "creeper" she has to go out of her way to be it...

    Most guys are OK with a few random texts.. Even being flirty...

    Its when you start following him to his classes you don't go to. Going through his trash or sending nude pics of your self to him you become.a creepy girl..

    Most guys are even OK with you running up to them maybe one a month or maybe week and giving them a hug..

    If I guy dose that the girls label him creepy right away...

    You should try to get him to open up.. Ask him out..

    Guys are not the only ones who can ask people out...

  • I think its different if a girls is being a "creeper" in oppose to a guy. If you are always trying too get his attention, text him excessively, or overly interested without getting too know him. It comes off as clingy/creepy.

    • what do you mean "getting to know him"? I mean, we talk almost everyday because we've had classes together for a year. if I even try and skate by him, he'll save me a seat or catch up to me after class. I feel like he likes me, but he doesn't initiate so I get self-conscious when I do it like 'am I reading him wrong?'

    • Show All
    • He is probably just shy. I don't know how to get him to ask you out. He may not want too get into anything serious yet because you two are good friends? If you want just ask him if he wants too do something one on one.

    • is there a way to do that without looking like a creep?

  • First off, guys are very dense and can't tell when a girl is flirting with them. That said, I think becka afraid you will think he is flirting with you. DO NOT ask him about this. If you ask him he will lie. Instead ask him out because then he knows how you feel and has no fear of rejection.

  • If you text and call him too much, or try too hard to spend time with him, you may scare him off.

    Don't stop pursuing him, but be wary of how often you make an approach.

    • ok, so for example, I texted him Thursday night to say what's up and we joked for a while... he hasn't texted me since, so if I text him sunday, is that scaring him? do I look desperate? and why isn't he texting me?

  • girls act stuck up and play hard to get and guys aren't always understanding of that and any guy that doesn't go with the flow when a girl texts him is in rough shape socially to say the least

  • Well, shy guys will not initiate anything unless you tell him about your feelings for him. For shy guys the fear of rejection is much greater than for any other guy and they typically will question whether the girl is truthfully flirting cause she likes him, just playing him, or she is just a natural flirt...shy guys can't always tell.

    I don't know if you are comfortable asking a guy out...especially shy guys. As a shy guy, I love it when a girl is straight up with me and not just constantly flirting. I remember when a co-worker of mine had constantly flirted with me, and I really felt she liked me...but realized she had a boyfriend 8 months later (I was totally pissed at her, but never told her). Us shy guys cannot pick that up.

    Don't get me wrong, I don't mind approaching a girl. She just has to be single and be interested in me. They say actions speak louder than words...but not this time. You can do all the action you want just short of grabbing his crotch, but telling him is the most effective way to clear the air. Trust me, shy guys LOVE bold woman who are upfront...I know I certainly do.

    If you do decide to tell him, tell him in a one on one setting where you know you won't be bothered by anyone (say a park or a quiet room with the door closed). Make sure you touch him when you tell him because touching is extremely powerful. When you touch someone they remember what you said more and will feel more at ease with you. But MAKE SURE you touch him in a unique way that you wouldn't touch anyone else...make him feel special when you do it. Otherwise you'll lose him. So you can wrap your arm around his arm and clinch his hand on the arm that you wrapped with both your hands. VERY POWERFUL. That's what I would suggest. Let me know how it goes!

  • it's literally impossible for a girl to creep a guy out

    • Lol this sounds sort of funny and cute at the same time. xD

  • Hey, just try being honest with him and say something like "I really like you, y'know - maybe we could go on a date sometime". If he says no then at least you know where you stand!

  • theres nothing wrong with a girl initiating


What Girls Said 5

  • Honestly, A lot of girls go through this mess. Including myself. [Your question = STORY OF MY LIFE!] Anyhow, I've found that if I wait a couple days in between texts, there is more to talk about, which means.. MORE HINTING! Guys really do need a hint that you like them. Calling something they do or say "cute" may work. But don't overdo it! Soon, he'll get the hint & act on it, whether it's good or bad.

    Good luck& have patience!

  • My guess is not leaving the guy alone. It would be kinda creepy if a guy did that to me!

  • Omgosh I'm so glad you asked this question!

  • sure, more girls should take initiative