Actually there is a reason why guys judge so much on looks that makes sense ..... even though it seems a little unfair. This is from an evolutionary perspective so you can either buy it or not but it is interesting. This is based on scientific evidence nothing other than that. THIS IS ONLY WHY GUYS PREFER GIRLS WHO ARE PRETTY. I WANT TO MAKE THAT VERY CLEAR.
Guys prefer girls who look pretty. Why? Because pretty girls look young, youthful, vibrant, and healthy. All good things. Now the goal of any organism is to reproduce ..... think about it. And for guys that means that they have to find a fertile girl right? Girls have a limited window in which they can produce children and then they are unable too. So guys that were attracted to older women (more defects, less healthy, not as pretty) had a lower chance of producing offspring so they were weeded out of the gene pool so that desire for older women also disappeared. Same goes with weight. A waist to hip ratio of about 4:3 is ideal for offspring to pass through easier. Women who aren't as close to this ratio have had a more difficult time historically producing children. So they were selected out of the gene pool and so were guys that preferred these types of women. Same goes with large breasts. Bigger breasts means more milk because that's what it looks like even though it isn't true.
So guys prefer women who look like Jessica Simpson because she appears to be very healthy, fertile, and youthful and a good chance of producing children.
Now my advice to you. Focus on guys that are similar to you in attractiveness. People usually end up with people who are equally attractive (also science). Guys do not want to be with girls that are heavier than them. Do not be afraid to make moves on guys. Give it time. Show guys how kind you are, people will appreciate that. Be honest with yourself.
Hope this helps...
I don't know. This isn't the helpful answer because you can easily point to my own failings in selection, but I focused on good looking girls when I was younger, found them to be lacking in many important areas, and concluded that women tend to be lacking in many critical areas. Since my experience suggested that young women were kind of dim-witted, self absorbed, and shallow, the logic then is to at least get one that looks good.
Ironically, if good looking girls had more substance instead of just style, that might reduce their advantages since we men would be more likely to seek out good personalities since we'd encountered them before. But with the absence of depth we lower our expectations.
Unfortunately women really really encourage this kind of behavior in men. As you know, girls obsess over appearance and make that - and having a boyfriend - the key to calling themselves a success.
I don't want to sound mean but the fact is 90% of guys don't like big girls. It's the same with us...can you honestly say you walked down the street and saw a fat guy and thought 'hm, he's fat but I want his inside so bad' ...um no. The first thing we see is looks and sadly we judge on this. Try to make friends with guys and initially don't pursue them, give them the chance to get to know you and maybe something will develop once they get past what you look like.
Also...if being big is something that becomes something that you just can't get past...loose some weight the healthy way. I don't mean become a stick, but exercise, tone up, eat right and do it for yourself not for guys. Just a self confidence booster.
I think it's best just to lose weight. I get so much more attention now that I lost a few than I did when I was bigger. Most guys 18-24 would rather have a great looking girl with an OK personality, than an OK looking girl with a great personality. Girls focus more on personality b/c we are more romantic and want more out of the relationship usually. Guys get embarrassed by bigger girls b/c their friends make fun of them. It might not be nice, but that's the way it is.
I think we girls are very guilty of this too, maybe not as much...but still guilty. Maybe the problem is that you've been looking at the wrong guys, because not all are like this. Maybe you just haven't found the right one for you yet.
You're forgetting CHUBBY CHASERS! Trust me, there are so many guys that love big girls. *Especially* when they are attractive in the face and have a stellar personality! Maybe you are looking in the wrong place girlie.
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Guys do judge what's on the inside. However, what's on the inside isn't obvious just by looking at a person. This is why adding a bunch of make-up won't help your cause. The guys who will appreciate you are the ones who won't really care how much make-up you're wearing. They will get to know your personality and grow to like you more because of it.
Here's the other part... It's great that you appreciate your personality, but you must realize that not every guy will feel the same way. Different people like different things. For example, you probably wouldn't want to date just any guy who came along, even if he thought he was the best guy ever. Basically, leave the perception of your personality up to the other person and just be yourself.
Top tip, exercise and eat right
guys instinctively judge girls on thier breeding qualities, i.e big breast and big hips, rosy cheeks (shows ur full of the hormone oestrogen) and other signs which show you are healthy.
therefore they don't care whats in your heart. only ur body
if you want to find someone who your describing, go to a book club or tiddlywink competition because no REAL man really cares about personality.
personality is just tolerated and is just incorperated into relationship so the man can make babies
harsh but true
One thing that I have not seen mentioned her was that guys, when it comes to sexual attraction, are very visual beings. meaning that for us to get turned on sexually we need to have something to look at that we feel is sexy. it takes a while into a relationship for a guy to feel that emotional connection with a women. therefore, in the early stages of any relationship guys need to have something they see as sexually appealing to them until they find that emotional connection.
We do judge what's on the inside, 'after' we judge the outside. Personally, I just can't bring myself to date someone I'm not attracted to physically, period. Once I get past the looks, the personality has to shine through or I won't continue seeing that person. Everyone has different tastes though, you'll find someone.
This is the reality, almost 85% of guys focus on what do you call sexy, they are more on physical appearance and with that we can't change it, but don't worry there are some of them looks on what's inside, don't take it seriously and please don't intimidate or get irritated to guys like them. For me physical appearance is just a decoration, no matter how sexy, pretty etc. your are, but inside is as spoiled as decaying apples, it's useless. cheer up girl!!!
...because guys are dogs (seriously, you should hear some of the sh*t we talk about with our buds---nature vs. nurture; nature always wins)
You mentioned how Jessica Simpson is young and whatever. She will get old sometime. What happens then?
Oh please, like if girls don't do the same.
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