Why do I always attract guys that have no good intentions with me?

[Anonymous]

I’m 21 and I’ve always noticed that I always attract guys that have no good intentions with me. I started to notice this when I was a junior in high school and some guys would say, “mmm I’d love to hit up a piece of you”. And I got comments like that until I graduated high school. It didn’t scare me or anything like that, I was just very annoyed. However in college, it was a little worse as guys would do stuff like whisper in my ear “mmm hey sexy” and run off before I see who the person is. This slowed down my sophomore year when I decided I wanted to date a smart mature guy. I went on a date with a guy I had interest in cause he was very smart and seemed mature and we were classmates. He was very interested in me too but was too shy to ask me out until I showed some interest in him. We became boyfriend and girlfriend but 2 months into our relationship he was sad I wasn’t comfortable with taking another step into the relationship sexually and told me that if he knew that before our first date then he wouldn’t of asked me out. I was so upset until he was crying telling me to please don’t leave him. I didn’t but as our relationship grew healthily, he started to become depressed and pushed me away saying that I deserve better despite that I loved him very much. Months after he broke up with me, guys would just be talking to me casually and then saying stuff like, “want to send me some nudes sometime?😏you are sexy asf”. All guys that become interested in me (except my ex) are like that and it makes me feel sad. And I’d give any guy I knew an opportunity if they wanted to. I’ve never rejected a guy in my life unless he doesn’t have good intentions with me. I don’t judge a guy by anything like his looks, if he’s popular, etc. All I care about is if a guy is nice, honest, and has good intentions with me. But I’ve never met a guy in my life with all of those qualities.

Updates

+1 y

I feel like this is going to be my life and that guys are always going to hit on me while having no good intentions with me. I dress modestly and I’m not flirty with men. Is my life always going to be like this to where I’m going to live my life alone?

[Sel666]

Girl honestly guys like that ain't shit anyways so you don't need them in your life. However, maybe you just come off as shy and you're probably really pretty so assholes like that will try to use you for one thing. I don't know if all guys are like that but I've spoken to tons of guys and I ain't even that pretty and they STILL use me for shit. I think it just depends on the guy you give your time too, but it happens a lot that the worst guys are the nicest ones becauss they turn into crap the minute they don't get what they want (trust me). But not all guys are like this (idek anymore) just hope for the best and keep pushing. Maybe be more confident in yourself and don't let those gross ass men define you by your body and what they think of you. by the way if someone I was interested in or dating ever said they wouldn't have dated me if I was going to say no to sex, I would have broken up with them that minute cuz that's toxic as shit. Sorry you have to always go through this, but maybe it'll get better.

[caring__1]

It could be you come across lacking assertiveness, so guys feel you are weak enough to be manipulated by them. I'm not saying to become aggressive, but you may want to establish yourself in a responsible position, so people can see you for what you are doing rather than body parts. Get involved with an organization you can relate to or do volunteer work. This can be interest oriented, work oriented, service club, helping the less fortunate or challenged, or political/cause oriented. Take on a position that allows people to see you in action, where you can make the most of your abilities. The more you do, the more confident you'll come across. The more confident you are, the less likely guys will hit on you for just their own pleasure.

You can also mention this to adults who know you well. Ask them to help you see how you may come across that might attract these types of guys. If they mention actions you take, find replacements that might be more effective. If they mention physical aspects, out of your control, do your best to minimize rather than draw attention to those aspects. I hope you find people who appreciate the total you.

[Twenty2]

Awwww! You're a real sweet heart if what you're saying is true. Sadly not many girls are like you. In my experience, girls here treat you badly if you're nice to them. They think that just because you're nice that they can step on you. That's why I stopped being nice. Why didn't you take a step further sexually with your ex?

[Asker]

He was my first boyfriend so I didn’t really know at the time how relationships work (although I was his first girlfriend so neither did he, but assumed that we should’ve been doing high level sexual stuff by after a month. But then we both found a better way that would make us both comfortable). We found a compromise that we both liked and ended up taking that step, but slowly. The relationship ended 4 months after that because of multiple reasons that didn’t make sense to me. All I observed was he became very depressed and was struggling with something on his brain. He never told me exactly what but hours later he broke up with me after that. It was sad but it was over a year ago so at least I don’t remember the sadness of it.

[Twenty2]

Wanna talk?

[Asker]

Sure I don’t mind :)

[Twenty2]

Text/follow me

[Asker]

I followed you. I wasn't able to send a message cause I'm not at level 2 yet, but I almost am

[MzAsh]

You might give off a vibe that’s very timid, and guys like that will think they can get away with saying thing like that. And it sounds like they have gotten away with it. Men need to think that if they say that kind of shit to you, they will suffer the consequences. They need to be scared of what will happen if they disrespect you. But they won’t be if you seem like a pushover.

[TheBootyChest]

Because they want to sleep with lots of women, and not care about having good intentions past the first sexual encounter.

[Anonymous]

It's not just you ,
Boys are just horny f... You can find that person's you want just make sure he isn't using you for sex

[Shy_Steve]

Don't blame yourself, Just try focusing on Guys that have Good intentions for you.

[Luckycharms12]

Life have get true the shit before you find good one

[SamFromFL]

Describe what good intentions mean to you.

[LivvyOfTheScots]

You'll develop a filter as you get older

[ayomanwya]

Aww you seem really sweet