How can I help my depressed friend who is struggling with obesity?

[Willow4]

I've had this friend from way back in high school who has always been very large but is a lovely funny kind girl and has always been here for me.

She has always been big but has been gaining at a rate of knots lately to the point where she is very depressed. I try to take her out and cheer her up, I try to take her places where we don't have to sit and eat, the movies because it's dark and she feels more comfortable. I never suggest clothes shopping because I know it can make her down, but lately she doesn't return my texts or calls. I paid for both of us to get gym memberships and I went round and helped her buy something to wear there that was comfy fitting and said I'd work with her and go for walks, even do some crazy stupid dance dvd at home that we can both be crap at lol.

Lately she says she hates me and why do I bother with her and that I wouldn't understand because I look normal, even though I've tried explaining that I find it hard sometimes. She can be harsh sometimes but I try not to take it to heart because I know it's the pain talking.

I want to help but I'm getting to the point where it's beginning to make me unhappy too, I really don't know how to be a good friend to her. Any indeas?

[existing_not_living]

I understand that she is your friend but the fact that she is hating on you is not ok and you should confront her about that. Just because she is heavier than you does not mean that she has more insecurities than you. I'm 115 pounds (5'2 in height) and have thigh gap but I also have an eating disorder. I look in the mirror and all I see is fat. When I binge I freak out and get mad at myself and try to eat as little as possible afterwards. Some days I only drink water. Everyone tells me I'm skinny but all I see is fat. You are being a good friend to her and she should not be treating you like this. I wish I had a friend like you. It is so sweet of you to pay for her gym membership and instead of her getting off her (excuse my language) Fat Ass and going to the gym that YOU payed for she decides to shun you for her mistakes. I think if she can't stop having a pity party for herself then you need to let her go. A friend no matter how sad would never do those things to you. You deserve so much better.

[Willow4]

Thank you, I do try lol :) It's hard because she can be very stubborn. I completely agree with you, my sister has the same disorder as yourself so I've seen both ends of the spectrum and I don't think she really sees that slim people can suffer just as much, either that or she just wants to think she's the only person suffering. I hate seeing her upset and I want to help but I think you're right, I can't do it much longer because I have my own problems and it's stressful. Thanks for the advice! Maybe I need to be harder on her.

[existing_not_living]

I'm glad I could help and I hope your sister gets better. Nobody in my family even knows I suffer from it.

[Willow4]

Thank you, I hope the same for you :) I wish I could have some helpful advice for you but just love yourself and try to get help if you can. Don't hurt yourself over it, please.

[existing_not_living]

Thank you!

[bh6676r942]

TELL her that she's an SSBBW then she'll be all cheered up and if not then recconend, weight loss stuff.

[Willow4]

lol I have got desperate and just said look I can't get a damn boyfriend and men are queuing up online paying to see big women lol