How do I get my boyfriend to smoke less or cut down entirely?

[_azure]

My boyfriend smokes and unlike other girls I'm actually fine with it. But, I'm really worried about him and I'd prefer it if he at least smoked less.

I don't actually know how much he smokes but maybe once or twice a week? He doesn't do it in front of me but he admits he does.

How do I get him to smoke less without being a pushover and taking away his freedom? Damn, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm just scared that he'll get sick or bad things will happen.

What do I do?

[VulcanHades]

Well I hope he stops now because in a few years it's gonna be 100 times harder to stop. I don't really know how you could convince him though. Most people who smoke don't listen and don't really care about their own health. Even if they know they increase their chances of getting lung cancer and dying at 30-40 years old they still don't care or realize how bad that is for some reason..

Maybe you could pretend you started smoking as well? Smokers don't care about their own health but they might care about the health of people they love. If he finds out you started smoking because of him he might feel really guilty and stop for you. But then again he might enjoy the fact that you started smoking or feel indifferent about it.

[_azure]

Thank you for the advice

[VulcanHades]

Thanks for MHO. So did you talk to him about it or did you try my advice?

[AdamThomas]

The dangers of smoking are over-exaggerated. There are a lot of flaws in the studies behind it, and anti-smokers tell a lot of lies as well. I did write a detailed response but it didn't post for some reason and I'm not gonna go into it all again, but a good book to read is "Health Benefits Of Tobacco" by William Campbell Douglass, where he point out the flaws in study after study, and shows how smoking can actually be beneficial in small doses - as with anything, it's fine in moderation.

Consider this: The Japanese are among the longest-lived people. Japanese men are twice as likely to smoke as American men, yet they live longer and have lower rates of lung cancer.

[_azure]

Thank you so much for your piece of information, it has opened my opinions a little bit

[heavenonearth]

I think it's fine to be honest and express you're worried about it and would prefer he didn't, but don't bring it up again and again if he's set on smoking. He'll just start resenting it if you try to push him about it. I'm sure he knows it's bad for his health (who doesn't in this day and age?), but if he wants to smoke anyway, that's his choice and right. He has to want to cut back or stop on his own. If he does, that's when you can come in and be supportive, encouraging, help him out, etc.

[_azure]

Okay, thank you, I've never actually asked him why he started smoking and if he's willing to stop. I'll bring it up soon!

[heavenonearth]

Sounds good. Good luck with everything.

[Windeez]

Mine used to smoke a lot and I was always worried about home too - health problems etc. I got him an electronic cigarette and after about three months on it (if that) he quit entirely. He also had will power as he knew I didn't like him smoking so he gave up for me.
Even if he used the electric cigarette it is so much less nicotine and i don't think it harms you as a cigarette would

[_azure]

Thank you so much.

[Tdieseler]

this actually hits close to home for me... and if you want to know about it from a personal POV.. you can find me. I can explain why not, and why, and why. (its a code... oh and I'm not a smoker :) i just know the concept)

[_azure]

Yeah thanks.

[Tdieseler]

a. k. a.."Next!" oh well.. i don't force people to listen.

[Tdieseler]

ok... that came out wrong due to the perception...

[_azure]

haha xD

[FlyingTurtle]

My boyfriend was able to quit cigarettes entirely by switching to e-cigarettes. Controversial as to actually how harmless those things are, but it definitely was a step.

[_azure]

Thank you.

[DodgersGM]

Tell him that you care about him, that you're not trying to take his freedoms away, and you're concerned about his health.

[_azure]

thank you so much

[HorrorFan]

Does he get super defensive and refuse to quit or is he open to the idea and just feels that it's too difficult?

[_azure]

well I haven't actually talked to him about it

He once asked me if I was okay with him smoking since a lot of girls hate it. I just waved it away and I didn't really say anything about it.

[kheserthorpe]

If your'e talking tobacco, nobody smokes twice a week.

[_azure]

well I wouldn't know because I haven't talked to him about it that much

I think he smokes when he's around his usual friends though

[LastGirlScout]

Once or twice a week? How exactly is he going to cut down that amount, it's pretty minimal!

[_azure]

Well, that's good news.

I don't really know how much he smokes but I presume when he's around his friends, they smoke.

Once or twice a week is just an estimation haha.

[LastGirlScout]

I'm trying to get me partner to quit, or at least cut down. He's been a smoker since he was 15 and I really do worry about his health, but I'll tell you this for free: smokers will only cut or quit if they want to. Nagging them rarely works, you have to be very subtle about how you persuade them it's healthier to do it less.

[_azure]

Thank you so much for the advice <3

[Anonymous]

Once or twice a week? You can't really cut down much from there

[_azure]

you probably could say that haha