How do I stop struggling to keep positive?

Anonymous
I spent over six months not touching processed food, running 21kms+ a week, tracking what I ate, limited the times of the day I was allowed to eat, and then finally began to find a way to continue keeping my weight steady or gradually lose it to have it all fucked up by medical stuff. August last year I was 74kg. August this year I was 60kg. Two weeks ago I was 60kg. Today I'm 64kg and its continuing to gradually climb. I'm so bloated and its just sorta happened. I'm struggling to stay positive when exercise hurts and food makes me look pregnant. I miss being relatively comfortable in my own skin.
Me today:
How do I stop struggling to keep positive?

Me exactly two weeks ago (NSFW?)
How do I stop struggling to keep positive?
How do I stop struggling to keep positive?
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