Should you love yourself, or better yourself?

[xOGxDub]

I hear this a lot,
people say love yourself and if someone doesn't like you for who you are, then they aren't for you.

Then again you hear
Better yourself, not for others, but for yourself. Be the best you can be. etc...

which one do you believe in?

Love yourself for who you are.

Better yourself.

Other

[redeyemindtricks]

Imagine two hypothetical 16-year-old boys in situations similar to yours.
Boy #1 has parents who love him and care about him.
Boy #2 has parents who don't give a shit about him much one way or the other.
Quick! Pop quiz: Which set of parents will want the boy to GROW more? To strive more, to achieve his potential? Which set of parents might even err on the side of being a little too pushy, from time to time, when it comes to encouraging the boy to do just that?

...

...

...

...

You get me, right? The answer is #1, of course.

That should be all the explanation you need.

REAL love goes absolutely hand in glove with wanting and encouraging someone to grow and achieve his/her potential.
Whether it's self-love, married love, or the love of a parent for a child... doesn't matter. Doesn't matter at all. It's all the same.

__

Love that tries to freeze a moment in time, and keep it there, ain't love at all.
Not at all.

Hell, no.

You know what that is?
That's FEAR.

In a relationship, that's what people do to a partner they're afraid will become TOO desirable, or TOO dynamic, and might leave the relationship... so they "love the person exactly as they are", to try to keep them in that rut. So they won't improve themselves... so they might never leave.

Some parents do that to their children because they're fucking horrible evil narcissistic parents who hate the idea that their children might outshine them, or (God forbid!) might not be dependent on them anymore. Hey, parents ::knock knock:: that's the fucking point! The whole point of a parent is that our job is supposed to be obsolete after 20 years or so, and, after that point our kids should come seek our help because we're WORTHY of it. SMH.

And, some people do that to THEMSELVES, because they're afraid of failure.
Dude.
DO NOT BE AFRAID OF FAILURE.
Srsly.
The way to win at life, is to go out and fail at a whole bunch of shit, over and over and over and over again, until you succeed. Like, really, just go find a random successful person (however you define "success", really doesn't matter) and go ask them about this.
If you convince yourself that you are "content" with the state of affairs exactly as is, then, you are probably just overly concerned with the idea that you might fall flat on yr face in yr future endeavors.
Don't.
What do you call someone who goes bankrupt 14 times and then starts a successful business? Fucking rich.
Etc.
(:

[redeyemindtricks]

Tx for the MH luv. <3

[xOGxDub]

Of course 🌷

[BiscuitesSwag]

As I get it, reworded it would be "Don't get depressed because you aren't the best form of yourself."
Agreed, sounds kinda stupid my rewording, but you get what I'm trying to say.

[9mfeo]

Why not do both? You don't have to completely hate yourself to want to get better. For example, I started working out this summer. Not because I hated my body, but because I loved it and wanted to feel better (in terms of my anxiety disorder).

[BeerFarts]

It's simple. The more you better yourself, the more you love yourself. Loving yourself is cool and all, but it's a complacent way of thinking.

[apple24]

BOTH! Love yourself but love yourself to grow everyday!

[AzureGirl]

A combination of both. You should love yourself, but if you don't then you should better yourself so you can love yourself.

[Phoenix98]

Why can't you do both.

[cinderelli]

We should keep on working on ourselves..

[ElissaDido]

Better Yourself.

[justbanANNAz]

why can't i do both?