My boyfriend says I've let my self go, yet he won't let me get myself back!

[sugahsweet18]

Since I've been with my boyfriend we have both sorta 'let ourselves go' so to speak. He complains that I've gained weight since we met almost 5 years ago, and that I never wear make-up for him anymore. Well I admit I've put on some weight (17 lbs) and I've never been the type to wear make-up on a daily basis. Here's the problem though, any time I go to buy make-up he complains about how much it costs. And the same thing goes for trying to go to the gym, I had a pass but then he started complaining about how much it was costing for me to go to the gym. I love working out, but don't have room for home equipment, its a really great stress reliever. The funny thing is I gained 17 lbs he gained closer to 80 lbs since we met. Can anyone maybe try to shed some light on why he complains about this but doesn't want to let me try to do anything about it?

[hockeygirl]

Guys are superficial. They always want the "trophy girl". They want other guys to think what they have is hot. Women care less about this, we care what the man is made of, not how he looks to other girls. If he complains about the cost of the up keep, then ask him what's more important, you looking a certain way, or how much it costs. Tell him to make up his mind and quit riding you for the other side of it. Because you can't look like a super model for free. Remind him that you love him for who he is, 80 lbs heavier or not, and its quite unfair that he doesn't accept you as unconditionally as you do him. There is a saying that when you gain weight in a relationship its because you're happy, its when your constantly stressed out and sad that our appetites are effected and we lose weight. Would you guys rather be a little heavier and happy or have slim waists and be miserable?

[Belleza]

he's being an ass (hey straightforward answer) first of all what the hell is 17lbs? Second that's 17lbs of happiness and third when a person loves they usually love for the person not the look - get it? The only reason he bashes out on you is because he's lazy, selfish and he doesn't feel like going to the gym himself and on top of that he doesn't want you to spend money on yourself I think he kinda likes to make others suffer - what I mean is he would like for you to gain more weight - hey sounds like it! In my opinion that's not the guy I would have liked to be with!

[Shlei3]

I don't know why he'd be doing this. I know that my fiance tells me that he fell in love with me for me.and the body I have (curvy). Try something other than the gym. Does he like biking or walking? Go for a walk or a bike ride. I do that with my fiance. That way you spend time with them and it's free. What does he say when you ask him about his wishy washy comments?

[sugahsweet18]

He gets angry if I even try to ask him about it. sometimes I think he worries that if I start wearing make-up more and getting into shape, that I'd leave him.

[Shlei3]

It's pretty easy to bounce our own insecurities on the ones we are closest to. It sounds as though he may be doing this. How is his mood overall? Is he happy or is he not?

[sugahsweet18]

He seems to be happiest when he's out with his friends and I'm at home or at work making money, eating, sleeping or having sex.

[Shlei3]

I'm sorry to say that it sounds as though things are going on beyond this weight thing. It sounds as though he has forgotten how great it is to have a girlfriend that is pulling her share in the relationship. He sounds like he's being controversial for the sake of just starting something. You may want to rethink the relationship. Relationships are a get to not a Have to. And if he doesn't see how great it is it might be time to leave.

[desperado]

He knows that if you start looking good, he'll have to shed some pounds as well, which of course is why he complains about you trying do something good for yourself. Look into the penny saver and you may find some cheap exercise equipment.

Yours truly, Desperado any advice for me.

[gravygirl]

This seems pretty ridiculous to me. I know guys can be hypocritical about weight, but anyone who's gained 80 pounds really shouldn't be criticizing their girlfriend at all. And then to complain about the gym membership is just absurd.

[sugahsweet18]

It gets pretty hard to handle sometimes. especially since I'm not fat or over weight, I'm just not in very good shape, I'm somewhere between 'skinny' and a little 'chubby'.

[Rocking]

He sounds selfish. Are you happy with him?