Guys: What's your opinion on dating overweight girls?

I'm 26 / 5'2

My weight last year was: 254lbs / 115.2 kg

My weight right now: 170lbs / 77.1 kg

It's a work in progress!

Would you date an overweight girl at all (with a personality you like) and would it make a difference if she was (like me) in the process of losing weight...or is it simply not something you'd go for because you could never be attracted to an overweight girl?

Reason for asking: I didn't feel good about the way I looked / lived, but now; having lost all that weight I feel great about myself. Way more confident about flirting & Co even though I still have a LOT of work to do and most guys would probably still consider me fat.

Updates:
*Edit: 163 lbs now :)
160 lbs now; slow but steady :-)
158 lbs...next update when I reach 144 lbs.
Not at 144 yet...but 154 after having hit a bit of a plateau. Big change in waist & co measurements though. tbc...
149.9 (1.0229449 pound-loss per week) - hope you all are doing good. any advice on dumbbell exercises - triceps? bingo wings suck, but the more weight I lose the harder it is to avoid them. you guys bothered by them?
145.5 :D
Before after pic for those of you who asked. I hope the link works. 140.2 lbs

link
132.9 lbs - what would your first thought be if you saw a severely overweight person enter a McDonald's? Before I wouldn't allow myself to think about it, but now that I have lost all that weight I catch myself having "skinny folks thoughts" (even though I'm not skinny yet).

Might be because I'm over all the bullsh*t I told myself over the years (excuses, excuses, more excuses as to why I need sweets & such).
 

What's Your Opinion?

0/2000

Most Helpful Opinion

  • i mean, the thing is that guys are more visual people so we prefer a girl who is physically attractive. The issue here isn't dating but the idea of first attraction. Sure personality matters but you have to get to that step of finding out each others' personality and that requires an initial approach and the physical attraction is what creates that approach. So I guess what I'm saying is that, I probably wouldn't date an overweight girl. I apologize if that comes off as shallow.. But good luck on your weight loss! don't do it just to get guys. do it for your own health! :)

    • Thanks for the continued support :-). Not there yet (ideal 119 lbs) but I'm not worried. I know I'll get there. I'm taking my time and that's what's been working best for me.

    • Wow that is pretty f***ing awesome! Its almost kinda inspirational! That much weight lost. Congrats!

    • Can't for everyone bec of my job, but if you want I'll add you and message you one

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What Guys Said 75

  • I wish that you had left the updated photos on line as I just went to check them and they were listed as deleted, I was hoping to see how good you are looking now!

    • I don't have any requests?! Then again, I don't have any pics on my profile either.

    • I am inpatient I added you as a friend.

    • I'll reup them again once I've reached ideal weight. Promise! :)

  • I like that.

  • Update 7: WOW that's GREAT work! very encouraging - way to go :)

    • Thank you :)

  • Congrats! You've worked hard, and your looks show it. You've got from probably being a 4 or so to more like an 8.

    • Lol, I figured. Thank you!

    • And that's not size, that's on the looks scales of 1-10.

  • First off, congratulations on your weight loss. Keep it up. I too would like to see a before and after pic hence why I am not anonymous. I too am loosing weight and not only does my stomach look smaller, but my arms, chest and penis look bigger, so that's a plus. It has also boosted my self confidence. Go out and buy a great outfit, it will help your outlook that much more. I mean everything. Panties, bra, jeans/skirt sweater/blouse.

    I find that if you loose weight to quickly without firming up and toning at the same time, you tend to get that flab under your arms. Start weight training. Also as you are at a plateu with your workout, you need to change it up, intensify it some and keep going. Swiming is an awesome way to get a fll body work out with out really bulking up like a body builder or loosing your bust.

    The best diet and exercise regiment that I have ever done was thanks to the United States Military and would gladly pay to go through boot camp again as a diet/exercise program (yes I would) and think that it would be a good way for the government to make some money! Talk to an ex-service member, Cadre, or Recruiter to find out the exercises. Now on to your questions.

    I have always been attracted to larger women. One because I was a larger male and had little to no self-esteem or self-confidence. When I originally lost weight (247 to 163 in 12 weeks) I started dating and 'entertaining' girls that were size two (or smaller) and 32B as I gained weight I lost "the one." After 10 years of extreme self hate, 360 pounds and many suicide attempts I am loosing weight again. As my size went up so did the girls that I hit on. Now I am married and wanting to loose the weight for myself. She too is big but does not care about her (275) weight nor does she care to try loosing it. I don't think I would leave her over it, but it will cause us to have a lot less in common. She'll sit around the TV eating while I am out hufing and puffing walking 5 miles 2X a day. She can't walk around the mall with out stopping to "REST" or have a snack at the all you can eat buffet. The more we grow apart the harder it will be. I am doing this for me, her and my health. Can't she do it for just one of those reasons?

    Once again, keep up the good work. If you join the Y or most gyms, they will assign you a trainer free for "X" amount of days/weeks/months. Give it a try.

    • Just an XL long-shirt. I'm wearing my clothes as long as possible size-wise. Otherwise I would have spent a fortune already by now...on new clothes (every time a drop a size) haha. Thanks for your answer. The only reason I did / am doing it is for myself. I feel much better than before.

    • Just checked out your link. I think you look GREAT! Your legs and bust seem to fit your body better, although the choice of clothes hide a lot (color and fit) and make it hard to see. The question is and should always be, do you feel better now or before?

  • I would date her only if she agreed to get fat again with an extra 26 pounds

    • That's gonna happen...NOT. :)

  • cool! I like thick chicks!

  • Lots of guys are attracted to overweight girls (aka heavyset, fat, stocky girls). My girlfriends (one at a time) included overweight girls both fat and stocky. I remember one of my girlfriends in particular who was very short and very large (more fat than stocky) and who had high self esteem because she knew she was stronger than many guys including tall skinny guys like me (I stand 6-foot-1 and I weigh 135 pounds). One day, she boldly challenged me to a weightlifting contest to find out which one of us (HER? OR ME?) could lift a bigger, heavier barbell overhead. She stood only 4-foot-9 while she weighed 190 pounds (massive for her short stature) while I weighed 125 pounds (measly for my tall stature). At my apartment, there was a big, heavy, fully-loaded barbell set up on the floor. I had already tried to lift it over my head. I lifted it up from the floor but when I tried to lift it over my head, I COULDN'T EVEN GET IT ABOVE MY THIGHS! When she arrived, she lifted that barbell up from the floor and I watched her while she easily swung it up over her shoulders and then, while I continued to watch her, she easily lifted it over her head. I just stood there, STUNNED, and ALMOST IN DISBELIEF at what I just saw her do. I failed in front of her as well. Afterward, she and I stood in front of each other with her looking way up at me while I looked way down at her. I thought she would be turned off after she outlifted me but her strength being far superior to mine actually turned the both of us on. She and I began kissing each other tenderly while we were both caressing each other. However, it didn't advance beyond that because it was still early in our relationship. I was barechested so we noticed that I stood so much taller than she did that my nipples actually rose above her mouth!

    • maybe a tad on the tmi-side but thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. :D

  • not attracted to them at all.

    • On a physical level I'm assuming? Or does a physical body type no-go, in turn, make the personality seem a no-go as well? Thx for sharing your thoughts on this.

  • Yes I would. Sexy attitude turns me on

    • Its important. Its hot. My blood starts flowing in all the right places ;)~

    • Thanks for answering. I so need to remember this "sexy attitude turns me on". Very true too.

  • Keep up the good Work an do it, for yourself. If you do things just for the Opposite Sex request. Than you might end up having regrets.

    Good Luck in your Future of Dating an Loving but Mostly be Happy & Enjoy yourself.

    • I would never do it for anyone BUT myself. I agree with you and I'd even go as far as to say that IF I had done it for the guys...I would not have come this far. Thanks for the encouragement and words of advice. :-)

  • can you give me advice on how you are losing the weight? hopefully you have more advice than "burn more calories than consumed"

    • bro burn more caloruioes than consumed is the only way, count calories, you can eat anything you want, also lift weights so you look good, find an easy weight program they have a bunch on the internet, do half of an hour everyday and that's it

    • And if you have more question / specific ones regarding what I wrote then feel free to ask and I'd be happy to try and answer them.

    • Check the Anonymous User question (2 below you). I gave a bit of advice in the comments. :-)

  • Good for you on losing the weight keep it up.

    • I will. This question has transformed itself into my very own motivational sphere haha. Thanks!

  • How did you manage losing so much weight? What's the trick? Pls share...

    • ...time for whole grains because they, too, will fill you up for a good long while. :-)

    • I sometimes split dinner in two parts. Part one: A couple of strawberries & a kiwi or the papaya leftovers from the salad... and only later IF I'm still hungry Part two: one slice of whole grain toast with cucumber or a slice of low fat ham. But usually the fruits do the job and I don't feel the need to eat more. Especially not when you mix the strawberries with a spoonful of natural yogurt. This way you don't go to bed hungry and you have a healthy appetite the next morning...

    • You are welcome. + I've become a fan of salad mix. I use salad greens, bell pepper, corn, cucumber, radish, mushrooms (whatever you have veggie-wise or even slices of apple or papaya - COLD) and mix it all together with a handful of whole grain rice or couscous (HOT) . Instead of eating turkey/seafood with 30gr of couscous AND salad greens I eat turkey/seafood with this mix of everything (but I only use 10-15gr of couscous). It will fill you up & at the same time you get your 5 veggies a day.

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  • First of all, congrats on the accomplishment! Secondly, no chance I would date a fat chick. I realize that you should look at what's on the inside but no matter what, I still have to bring a girl home that won't make my parents laugh at me.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.

  • Keep at it girl, you'll get there :)

    • Added you & will message you my Facebook url. :)

    • Aww, too bad. Feel free to add me as a friend and keep me posted through messaging, or we can be Facebook friends and we can message through there. Whatever you feel most comfortable with!

    • I will. But I'm thinking about not updating on here anymore. I just got asked by a question-answerer to please do so. I guess it is because you cannot deactivate the notification once you answered a question. Haven't thought about that.

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  • I would never be attracted to you. Sorry.

    • No reason for you to apologize for your opinion. Thanks for sharing.

  • First off, good work. Personally, I think women who are too skinny are not attractive looking and I find slightly over weight far more attractive. Wayy overweight or obese, well that's a different story.

    • Exactly but don't over do. Some women over do it and look unhealthy like a holocaust survivor. Its dangerous to do that and its not attractive at all at least to me. Just go for average weight. Even some women who are overweight can still look heavy.

    • Got ya. There definitely is a difference. The more weight I lose the more I realize that myself. I feel much better and more confident about putting myself out there (flirting, dating...) even though I'm still overweight. Overweight = 250+ vs. overweight at 170 does make a difference. Thx for sharing your thoughts on this.

  • If she was sweet and really nice and the attraction was there I've been attracted to some over weight girls before.

    • Well, id'e say good luck. But after all you did you don't need it! I know you'll do it!

    • It really did. 22 pounds to lose & I'm done.

    • Your welcome, all your hard work paid off!

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  • ive dated both ends of the spectrum and have have seen some bbw that look good (personal limit is 210 from my experiences).

    But its all in how she presents herself (being confident and dressing well), if you're big and can make it look good you shouldn't have to many problems but if you're out there lookin sloppy to us (looking like the people of walmart photos) then yeah the issues abounds.

    • Definitely. I mean overweight girls often tell you "I feel good; I don't need to lose weight to be confident". Truth is they don't feel good about themselves, but that doesn't mean they need to run around looking sloppy. Even when I still had 250+ I always took care of my appearance...still do. Dealbreaker! Thx for answering. :D

  • half the guys on here are lying. I want a hot girlfriend with a nice body, considering I like her personality

    • thank god

    • Yep, to each his own. And look at it this way...if there are guys that can overlook extra weight to get to know the person (or guys that maybe even prefer larger women) that just means more "hot girls with a nice body" left for you.

    • no, an overweight girl can not be hot or have a nice body either.. because she's fat.

      i can be attracted to a fat girl's personality but that's not enough to turn me on. but hey different strokes for different folks right? I guess I'm the only guy on this site who likes attractive thin women huh?

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  • If she had a cute face, we got along, and she was losing weight then yes I would date her.

  • Yes, there are guys who dates girls who are thin as a stick and girls who are overweight.

    The funny thing is that I've seen overweight guys who are more attractive than ordinary/buff guys.

    Not everything is about looks, it's more important that the person in question has a good personality and can be trusted.

    Who cares if guys think you're fat or not, you shouldn't be the one adapting to them, you should solely do this because YOU want it, not somebody else.

    Otherwise, you are being taken advantage of, you have become someone else instead.

    • No problem!

      It's good that you do it on your basis, and that you feel more confident with yourself :)

    • Thanks! I quite like how you put it: "shouldn't be the one adapting". I'm not. The weight loss is all me and what I want to achieve for myself. The dating Q just came up because with feeling more confident and actually being interested in getting out there; maybe flirt a bit...it's become even more clear to me that it's pretty tough to find someone that happens to think like you do. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • I have always dated women seeing who they are on the inside rather than basing it on just looks or weight. I would rather have an overweight sweet woman than a thin bit&&.

    Congrats on getting healthier!

    • Thanks you! :)

  • Maintaining proper weight and a good form / body certainly requires hard work whether someone has been obese or not.

    You have been working hard on it and feeling good with the results is a great thing to happen. I'm sure all of us here are happy for you just as you are for yourself now.

    I don't understand statistics and measurements that you have mentioned out here as I believe that the actual look of the person can be very different viz-a-viz the measurements and stats.

    Coming to dating 'over weight girls' - for me I need to click with that girl and like her. When that happens I have obviously not looked at any other aspect since my liking her matters. So yes I will sure date the one as described in your question :)

    BTW I became overweight and began gymming again 9 months ago after over 20 years since I had put on tremendous weight in the past 2 years that made me go instantly from atheletic to fat and today I'm back to being atheletic (and better :D). There are obviously tons of girls who come along to lose weight and what I've noticed is that not every girl looks good after she loses too much weight, it goes the contrary for some and actually yes. So watch how much you lose and where to stop :D

    As of your problem of being 'fat' apart from health and mobility issues that can crop up owing to being over weight, you'll be surprised young lady to know the number of men who actually prefer larger women :)

    • Good luck there :) and god speed

    • Will do.

    • It's a good thing to take it gradually - I did the same too. The way I look people would often wonder why I'm doing light weights and exercises but building your strength 1st is a great idea and today I can do pretty good weights all round. The moment I feel even a slight twitch or tinge anywhere I level out immediately :D - good, you are going the right way :)

      Since you've already lost quite a bit, concentrate on shape and figure not just on losing weight :)

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  • Yes; you are very datable right now because you aren't giving up -you are taking action!

    You are not a dreamer; you have ambitions and you see plans through. That's a REQUIREMENT for girls I date. I am sincerely happy for you.

    I'm trying to go the other direction and gain weight (muscle) because I am kind of on the scrawny side. I feel like I am making some progress but have a looong way to go still. I probably won't see any results for another year or so because putting muscle on takes a long time.

    I'm 27 / 5'8"

    Current weight: 150 lbs

    Body fat %: ~13% ( no six pack =( )

    • I'm sure it will. I guess it's just natural to sometimes drop slightly. I imagine the end result (regularly visible) will be more permanent this way.

    • Well, keep up the good work!

      I ended up dropping slightly and then kind of oscillating. If I stretch my skin and flex I can see my six pack, though, so I'm hoping it will be regularly visible soon.

    • Haha, I hope the food you ate (your weight in gr) was tasty :D

      I will.

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  • If you really like her give her a chance

    • Tell that to the next guy I'm into, would you? ;-) - Thanks for answering!

  • F*** no.

  • I think I'm done dating over-weight girls. I've dated two or three, and they're always so insecure and mistrusting that I end up breaking up with them. I'm tired of having my motives questioned. I'm tired of walking on egg-shells around insecurities I do nothing by try to sooth. I'm tired of being treated like garbage. Over-weight girls are very unappreciative and hostile beings in my experience. No desire to date that.

    • That's really sad. That you've had such bad experiences, that is. Sorry to hear.

  • First off a huge congratulations on the weight loss! That's awesome I'm sure it feels great. Keep it going!

    And I have to say I absolutely would go for it because I am going for it now. While my girlfriend is not huge, by BMI scales she is overweight and I think she is beautiful. And pretty much everyone agrees with me. I could go on about her but that's not what this question is asking lol. A pretty face is way more important at the end of the day than a nice body.

    But that's never an excuse to not be healthy. Of course stay healthy and try to get to the healthiest weight you can. Your confidence will only grow :)

    • Thanks! I will definitely keep it going. Really nice to hear about your girlfriend. Lucky girl! All the best to the both of you.

  • Your weight wouldn't stop me from starting a friendship. If over time I see you're still making really good progress towards becoming a healthier you I'd open myself up to the possibility of dating you.

    That's really great you're making such good progress. Keep it up and I know you'll see the woman you want to be in the mirror one day!

    • I already see the woman, otherwise I'd be depressed lol. But I know what you mean. :-) Soon I'll see the woman with the ideal weight I want to have in the mirror. Thanks for answering!

  • no I wont. it just doesn't work out. I don't want to date a girl that is bigger than me

    • Does it bother you? Sorry :/

    • please stop the updates :/

  • Half the girls I've dated have been overweight... I was desperate, as pathetic as it sounds. I'd like to say I can get past a girl's weight - and see her personality... but you know, I just can't. I want to be able to pick up and carry my woman.

    Now that I'm past the dating scene, I really don't think I would go for a girl who weighs more than me... I just can't do it.

    Take me for example: I weigh 155 pounds - is it really going to look good if I'm paired up with a girl who weighs nearly 100 pounds more than me?...

    I'm sorry... but looks DO matter

    • Don't apologize for your opinion. I get where you are coming from. No worries and thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. Much appreciated!

  • No. Sorry. It just wouldn't cross my mind to ask out a fat girl. I'm not perfect myself, but there's a big difference between needing to remove two inches from your waist and needing to lose 50 pounds.

  • This is one of those things I don't know how to really answer. I feel like I could totally date a bigger girl, especially if I liked their personality. However, despite what I consciously think I have ever only liked really skinny girls with small boobs and the gap between their legs. And I only have ever dated the latter as well.

    So there are definitely guys who want some more to love, and guys who don't. I have just come to the conclusion that some people have types set in their brain that are nigh-inescapable.

    • I think everyone has that...at certain type they usually are attracted to, but I also think it's awesome that you are not completely opposed to the idea of dating an overweight woman even though you haven't and don't know if you ever will.

  • Depends on exactly HOW overweight she was/is. I wouldn't want to date a morbidly obese girl but overweight is fine. I am in the process of losing weight as well. It would be awesome to find a girl who is also doing that. Keep each other motivated.

    With me I look at it as I have been taking care of myself and working on losing weight so why would I want someone who doesn't? Similar example: I have a full time job and have goals in life so why would I want to date a girl who was too lazy to get a job and has no ambition in life?

    Congats on the weight loss. I am in a similar situation. I was 5'7 250lbs and now I am 185lbs a year later. I have learned that I actually enjoy running and I am going to be in a mini marathon in May. Still working on it also. Great job and keep it up!

    • Thanks! Yes, similar interests / goals are a good thing. It's fun to work for something for yourself, but not alone.

  • im a bit pudgy as well...ive lost 10 lbs this ast month after making it my new years resoltuion to drop weight...i go through periods of time where I have lsot a lot and gain it back but this year I wanan go all the way and my current cirucmstances have actually allowed me to really focus on it and I'm doing well...i wish you well with your plans...but YES...i actually have found a lot of girls who are a bit heavier cute and pretty...i would love to have date/date many of them...and ia daccept her as she is but imt rying to loose weight too and since she wants to and its her goal id try to be really supportive...i think it'd be fun to have a girlfriend trying to loose weight at the same time I am..we could do it together and it might be good to have that support.

    • I'd definitely want a boyfriend / to get to know someone who is into all that as well. As you said...support is an important aspect. Congrats on your weight loss!

  • its all about the preference of the guys. Fat, Thick, Skinny or Petite Doesn't really matter, I just hate Lazy Ass Girls, regardless of her weight.

    • Good point. There's overweight & lazy + overweight & active. Thx for commenting.

  • I'm personally not attracted to large girls. It makes me feel like the biggest ass because I'm fat myself (though, like you, I'm losing weight). But I learned you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone and if you do you'll end up unhappy. So I'm losing weight for health and to make me less of a hypocrite. Now, when it comes to dating overweight, it all depends. I have some overweight friends who are very attractive but they're just not very overweight. I'm having trouble describing it. I'm not gonna judge a girl based on her weight. She can weigh like 170 but if she doesn't look like it, then I obviously wouldn't know or care.

    This answer makes me feel like an a**hole.

    • I second that. Honesty is so important. So thanks for being honest.

    • at least you are honest :)

  • It's all preference some guys like skinny girls others like realistic girls others like overweight girls. My preference is bigger girls. It's all in how you feel about yourself and not what anyone else thinks. I am glad that you are doing what makes you happy and not everyone else keep up the good work. Good luck in finding your Mr right.

    • Thank you! He will come along I'm sure. But even though I'm losing all the weight just for myself and my own happiness; the "would a guy date an overweight girl" question is something I think about...simply because I know how hard it is to find someone. However, you are right...it's not about what anyone else thinks. :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • I loved this! I am 5 ft 2 and170 lbs now. I HATE it. I'm pretty in the face, but I carry everything in my abd. I joined CrossFit and I'm working my way down... but it feels so slow! I'm so sad. I randomly came across this post and it seems so inspirational. Seems like there are mixed feelings about whether or not a guy would be attracted. Idk, I'm pretty confident... I used to be 143 lbs and I was happy-ish then... and then I moved home (worst idea ever). In college, I could maintain my weight because I picked what I ate there. Here, my mom comments on everything and cooks super unhealthy foods! I'm so frustrated. Thanks for this though. Good luck to you! Are you still working at it?

    • Maybe I should try harder on the cooking thing... I don't make enough to move out yet, but hopefully soon! I workout at CrossFit... and I used to do 1-2 hrs a day at the gym with an hour of cardio. My mom cooks such unhealthy food that I maintain a weight with that type of workout. Now I'm trying to do CrossFit and an hr of cardio. Sooo tired every day. I definitely need to cook for myself. See, my mom cooks bad stuff, but she'll eat 3 bites.. I can't do that. I get way too hungry if I eat like that

    • No sweets, no junk and sport and healthy eating instead. That's it. No weird diet, no excessive unhealthy workouts every single day of the week. Nothing like that. I just gave myself time. - Your mom might complain, but she didn't forbid you cooking in her kitchen did she? And depending on how old you are...you can always move our or make her understand that as long as that is not an option she HAS to give you the opportunity to be self-dependent. Cooking for yourself is one way to do it.

    • Omgsh, how did you do it!? That's so amazing. See, it's funny... my mom doesn't really like if I cook in her kitchen... she gets really perturbed to put it lightly. I told her I wanted to cook the other day/try out this challenge they're having at my gym for healthy eating and she was like what my food isn't good enough? It's hard here.

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  • I can't answer your question since I'm a girl and everything, but I just wanted to say congrats on getting healthy! You're doing amazing :)

    • Thank you so much! :-)

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