Guys: What's your opinion on dating overweight girls?

I'm 26 / 5'2

My weight last year was: 254lbs / 115.2 kg

My weight right now: 170lbs / 77.1 kg

It's a work in progress!

Would you date an overweight girl at all (with a personality you like) and would it make a difference if she was (like me) in the process of losing weight...or is it simply not something you'd go for because you could never be attracted to an overweight girl?

Reason for asking: I didn't feel good about the way I looked / lived, but now; having lost all that weight I feel great about myself. Way more confident about flirting & Co even though I still have a LOT of work to do and most guys would probably still consider me fat.

Updates:
*Edit: 163 lbs now :)
160 lbs now; slow but steady :-)
158 lbs...next update when I reach 144 lbs.
Not at 144 yet...but 154 after having hit a bit of a plateau. Big change in waist & co measurements though. tbc...
149.9 (1.0229449 pound-loss per week) - hope you all are doing good. any advice on dumbbell exercises - triceps? bingo wings suck, but the more weight I lose the harder it is to avoid them. you guys bothered by them?
145.5 :D
Before after pic for those of you who asked. I hope the link works. 140.2 lbs

link
132.9 lbs - what would your first thought be if you saw a severely overweight person enter a McDonald's? Before I wouldn't allow myself to think about it, but now that I have lost all that weight I catch myself having "skinny folks thoughts" (even though I'm not skinny yet).

Might be because I'm over all the bullsh*t I told myself over the years (excuses, excuses, more excuses as to why I need sweets & such).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i mean, the thing is that guys are more visual people so we prefer a girl who is physically attractive. The issue here isn't dating but the idea of first attraction. Sure personality matters but you have to get to that step of finding out each others' personality and that requires an initial approach and the physical attraction is what creates that approach. So I guess what I'm saying is that, I probably wouldn't date an overweight girl. I apologize if that comes off as shallow.. But good luck on your weight loss! don't do it just to get guys. do it for your own health! :)

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    • You have every right to your opinion. I think so too (attraction creating approach)!

      No worries, I'm not doing it to get the guys. That would be ridiculous. :)

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    • Wow that is pretty f***ing awesome! Its almost kinda inspirational! That much weight lost. Congrats!

    • Thanks for the continued support :-). Not there yet (ideal 119 lbs) but I'm not worried. I know I'll get there. I'm taking my time and that's what's been working best for me.

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What Guys Said 76

  • I wouldn't mind, I work out often but even I have body fat, and to me, a girl who has the right attitude, and a nice personality would make you blind to what's skin deep, she would demand you looked deeper and found what she was all about, and by then, you really wouldn't care how big she was, youve seen enough to want to know more already,x

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    • "Right attitude"--> I was really hoping for someone to mention that. Even though I'm still overweight I have the drive and motivation to live healthy and to do something about my weight issue. I just wonder if guys notice the difference between an overweight girl that doesn't really care about losing weight and an overweight girl that's trying to change things or already IS living healthier, working to lose the weight. - Thx for answering!

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    • Thank you so much. You are absolutely right. It IS happening & I've got an amazing support system. Friends and fam who tell me what I don't always see myself. :-)

    • Also remember, you girls are often harsh on yourselves, and often, what you regard as fat or over weight, guys often regard as perfect, and with the support you express, your going to get quite a few comments on how good you look, good luck,x

  • This is one of those things I don't know how to really answer. I feel like I could totally date a bigger girl, especially if I liked their personality. However, despite what I consciously think I have ever only liked really skinny girls with small boobs and the gap between their legs. And I only have ever dated the latter as well.

    So there are definitely guys who want some more to love, and guys who don't. I have just come to the conclusion that some people have types set in their brain that are nigh-inescapable.

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    • I think everyone has that...at certain type they usually are attracted to, but I also think it's awesome that you are not completely opposed to the idea of dating an overweight woman even though you haven't and don't know if you ever will.

  • Honestly, I don't think I would. I mean I'm simply not attracted to overweight women because I'm a slight fitness freak.

    Once the weight is lost or at least a large amount of it was lost then id become more and more interested. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I am very superficial when it comes to starting a relationship with personality coming after.

    By the way, congratulations on the progress. Really impressive. At your weight I wouldn't call you fat, 'chubby' would probably be the word of choice. Which is certainly better.

    Best of wishes for the rest of yoyr journey, I hope you reach your goals. Just make sure not to overreach and lose too much, its not a good look.

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    • I am now an absolute health & fitness freak as well (just still too much junk in my trunk) and would love for a guy (date or potential bf) to have the same interests. Problem is that most guys into health and fitness are NOT into overweight girls. It's just all kinds of frustrating let me tell you.

      You don't need to apologize for your preferences. It's just the way it is. Makes no sense to try and date someone you really are not attracted to. I get it.

      Thanks! I'm def chubby, but I'm ON IT :D

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    • I feel proud to have almost watched your progress, all that I have left to say now is don't overshoot and become unhealthily thin

    • Thanks :-)...and no worries. I'm aiming for ideal weight / height relation and then I'm done. Sticking to the plan. No overshooting.

  • Keep at it girl, you'll get there :)

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    • I will. :D

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    • Aww, too bad. Feel free to add me as a friend and keep me posted through messaging, or we can be Facebook friends and we can message through there. Whatever you feel most comfortable with!

    • Added you & will message you my Facebook url. :)

  • Truthfully, no. I'm a health freak, gym 4-6 days a week, eat really clean. Working out saved my life at one point as well. The older I get the more I value a woman who takes care of her body, especially since many women use age as an excuse for being not fit as they get into their late 20s. All this said, I deeply respect you because you refused to continue being unhappy with your health and you're proactively doing something about it which separates you from many women and men for tha matter. I think the more in shape you get and the more work and heart you put into it, the more you'll come to value a fit male as well. Please don't stop working hard to lose weight, you'll get there soon, and while it may seem tough at times and that you've plateaued, keep pushing and the results in the end are worth it :)

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    • The weird thing is that I'm really into healthy food / eating habits and sports ever since I started on this weight-loss-journey. I literally turned into a health nut even though I'm still overweight no question about it. I'd love to meet someone (bf potential) who is into the same things. Almost impossible though because I'm still too overweight to attract guys who are into all that and the guys who are attracted to me...are NOT. Frustrating. Thanks so much for your answer!

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    • Haha I didn't think for one second you were guy hungry or shy :) We all want to be with someone and as you've said you've come a long way on your weight loss journey. The fact that you feel so much more comfortable flirting is another success you've brought into reality, you're a very respectable person. Shy girls are so cute though haha.

    • Lmao @ "shy girls are cute". As long as the shy person can hold up her/his end of a conversation it's all good. I'm just not particularly good with super shy people. I would talk over them without meaning to do so. - I'm probably more comfortable flirting now just because of this different mind-set that came along with the weight loss: Walking down the street noticing 2 girls talking hush-hush. Before I would have thought they were talking about my weight. Now...probably about my awesome shoes lol

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What Girls Said 2

  • I loved this! I am 5 ft 2 and170 lbs now. I HATE it. I'm pretty in the face, but I carry everything in my abd. I joined CrossFit and I'm working my way down... but it feels so slow! I'm so sad. I randomly came across this post and it seems so inspirational. Seems like there are mixed feelings about whether or not a guy would be attracted. Idk, I'm pretty confident... I used to be 143 lbs and I was happy-ish then... and then I moved home (worst idea ever). In college, I could maintain my weight because I picked what I ate there. Here, my mom comments on everything and cooks super unhealthy foods! I'm so frustrated. Thanks for this though. Good luck to you! Are you still working at it?

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    • Slow is GREAT. Means you are doing it the right way with less risk of gaining even more again as soon as you stop losing. Keep at it and don't give up! You can do it. As for living at home. Take control of your meals. Cook for yourself. Even if it means just sitting with the fam while they eat and THEN go into the kitchen to cook for yourself afterward.

      I am still working at it. Due to weight loss I shrunk about an inch height-wise (apparently it's normal when losing a lot of weight).

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    • No sweets, no junk and sport and healthy eating instead. That's it. No weird diet, no excessive unhealthy workouts every single day of the week. Nothing like that. I just gave myself time. - Your mom might complain, but she didn't forbid you cooking in her kitchen did she? And depending on how old you are...you can always move our or make her understand that as long as that is not an option she HAS to give you the opportunity to be self-dependent. Cooking for yourself is one way to do it.

    • Maybe I should try harder on the cooking thing... I don't make enough to move out yet, but hopefully soon! I workout at CrossFit... and I used to do 1-2 hrs a day at the gym with an hour of cardio. My mom cooks such unhealthy food that I maintain a weight with that type of workout. Now I'm trying to do CrossFit and an hr of cardio. Sooo tired every day. I definitely need to cook for myself. See, my mom cooks bad stuff, but she'll eat 3 bites.. I can't do that. I get way too hungry if I eat like that

  • I can't answer your question since I'm a girl and everything, but I just wanted to say congrats on getting healthy! You're doing amazing :)

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    • Thank you so much! :-)

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