My boyfriend getting fat, what should I say to him?

[Anonymous]

I'm 20 and he's 21, we've dated for 2 years now. I love how responsible, smart, sweet and nice and everything but when I first dated him, he was fit and tall and I found him extremely attractive. I wouldn't say he was muscular or anything but he was a nice middle. He used to smoke and after we started dating, he stopped gradually (because he knows I don't like smokers) and his weight started to just hike up to the point where his face looks a lot rounder from before and he can't even fit in the pants he used to wear when we go out anymore.

Yes I know looks aren't important and yes I'm still attracted to him but not physically anymore. He keeps complaining about his weight but does nothing about it while I on the other hand, am trying my hardest to gain weight so I'd look good for him (I'm super skinny and I know he'd love it if I gained weight). So far I've gained 11lbs after A LOT OF work, and almost near my goal weight (14lbs to go).

What do I say to him? I really want him to look the way he was and I want him to be healthier as well. I want him to work hard just the way I am for him.

[toulouse]

i don't think you should gain weight for someone else. this is giving you the impression he should lose weight for you. he shouldnt. he should do it for himself. you say he's not happy with his weight. that's a reason to motivate him. not because you don't like his weight.youre free to leave him if you're not attracted to him. its not a reason for him to alter his body.

anyways he wants to lose weight so what's the problem. he should just start losing weight. eat less eat healthy and exercise. its not rocket science. if he wanted to do it he'd do it.no one complains about something instead of doing it when they reAlly want to do it.

health isn't a tit or tat operation. if he wants to get healthy he has to actually work at it. not be threatened to do it. what would you do if he had a disease that caused weight gain and there was nothing he could do about it?

[Troian]

Just tell him. It doesn't feel good to hear but it's for the best. My boyfriend likes how I am right now but he told me that if I happen to gain too much weight he would tell me. It's not something I'd want to hear but I know it would help me

[TedStar]

Support hi to that goal. If he is always complaining bout his weight then what he needs is someone who will kick him in the but ad make him change his ways. Especially for the first 1-3 months. Help and encourage him to change his eating habits ( portion sizes and avoid confectionery's, increase water intake). You could exercise with him (take a 30 minute walk with him 3+ times a week). Support is very crucial in getting results in the healthiest way possible

[iluvchewbucca]

Why don't you both join a gym together?

Who said looks aren't important? xD Yes they are! Just because one shouldn't be overly superficial doesn't mean you should be completely careless about your appearance.

[timewarper]

Help him I suppose. Tell him you want him to be more attractive and healthy to you

[gonyr]

Go with him to the gym. Do It together