Divorce courts are unfair and biased, a man who is the main earner can often expect to have to pay ridiculous amounts of money to his divorced wife through alimony. Robin Williams was forces to give so much money to his ex-wives that he almost went bankrupt, we're talking tens of millions, he said that he used to joke that alimony is really "allyoumoney", and that it's a way of ripping out your heart through your wallet. People talked about his depression and mental illness, but can you imagine having to give all your money to your exes so much so that you end up with none yourself? Even when they haven't earned any of it? Now this can happen to women too, however judges tend to favour women, particularly male judges, and more often than not it's the man who is the higher earner.
When it comes to children too many men lose their kids, their vindictive exes don't allow them to see them, they use them as a weapon against their Father, and nobody does anything about it.
On average men are 4x more likely to commit suicide, after divorce this raises to 9x more likely to commit suicide.
Then, rather than speak against this and do something about it women just tell men like me that we're bitter and that we just need to find the right woman. But you don't know who the right woman is, they don't show any obvious signs usually. Then they complain that we don't wanna get married, well duh. If rape was still legal in marriage and rather than speaking against it men just said "you need to choose the right man?, would you do it?
I think the problems with marriage are a bit over-exaggerated. Yes, a lot of marriages fail. The reason isn't the marriage itself but that the people in the marriage couldn't handle it. Marriage is a very demanding and tough commitment and not everyone can handle it. I've seen many happily married couples, but they're the most dedicated and hardworking partners. As my brother found out, when you marry to the wrong person, bad things happen. You lose your house, your kids don't get to spend as much time with you. Your whore of an ex wife could give less of a shit about them. However, he's moved on and remarried to a woman who is actually mature and good this time, and he didn't make the mistakes he made last time.
•Don't get married young, wait until at least 25.
•Don't marry the person for the wrong reasons. You have to share your life with that person. If you don't think you could handle them possibly losing a job, or getting disabled and needing your help in some way, don't marry them. Love and sex can't keep a marriage together.
•Don't marry someone who isn't going to put in the effort. My borther's ex-wife was still in her party phase. She just wanted to have a good time. She couldn't contribute anything. She was high-maintenance. Don't marry someone who isn't a full, hardworking adult.
I don't want to get married. Statically speaking though Well both work, he'll expect me to do all the house work and cook and be subservient so he can feel like want he's toldbeing a " man" is supposed to feel like- even if he feels bad about that objectively- . Men complain they lose freedom when they get married Bc they don't have time to themselves but When women marry they LITERALLY give up independence not just " free time", Bc they play a submissive role - which fucks with your dignity- So even alone she's not free. Plus I dont want kids. And I have no interest in getting someone else's stuff. So I have no reason to be intersted in marriage.
As far as men being upset about divorce settlements. My guess is if guys spent over a decade of their lives working full time taking care of a house the kids in it and cook With no actual or independence, they'd think they had a right to money and were owed it , in a divorce as well. That part isn't crazy to me. I don't think men - or women wiTh stay at home husbands - realize what women actually have to do and give up and put up with as a wife and mom. Plus if they get no salary they are owed compensation. And I'm not saying this Bc I persoanlly wnat " stuff" from a guy bc im not even marrying. I just see it as logical. guys get mainly for sex and kids. The woman produces those commodities. married ( a wife is much cheaper than prostitutes and adoption) The financial support she does get is for the Things she brings to the marriage-- There no income for the " work " she does.
I want to get married at a young age like the rest of my family did. And there has been only 2 divorces out of like 5 generations including aunts and uncle.
The people who divorced were druggies or Alcoholics.
Here are my reasons why
1. I'm waiting till marriage to have sex so I don't want to wait till I'm 30
2. I'm not into partying so I don't care about the settling down thing
3. I want to settle down.
4. I want someone to be there for me when I need them
I could go on but typing is so much work
Men want to screw as many women as they can, also apparently you gotta look and act like a p*rnstar . So glad I'm married to a guy who isn't brainwashed by the media who makes men think they should never ever get married and start a family. If I had to date again, I would rather scratch my eyes out.
Opinion
112Opinion
Guys are the ones who have to buy the ring and are usually the higher earner and the higher earner is usually the one who loses the most in the case of divorce which is fairly common nowadays.
Also it's hard to find modest trust worthy girls.
Most girls are out sleeping with guys they barely know at clubs and parties. Then after they get bored of hooking up and they want that diamond ring they'll look for a stable guy, lie to him about their past and play hard to get. Shell make him wait a months for sex to make sure he's commited and to give the illusion that she's the "relationship type" of girl even though she's normally the "fuck on the first date" kind of girl for all those guys she met at parties.
Also I've heard enough horror stories of sexless mariages and guys getting fucked over by divorce to know it's not worth it. It's an outdated tradition that has no value.
cdn.someecards.com/.../1318289377873_9971010.png
The reason why men are hesitant on marriage is because they ask themselves "Am I ready for this kind of commitment?". Financial commitment which includes buying a house, buying a car, getting a real job etc. and personal commitment like making a family, meeting and getting along with the in laws, etc.
Other serious questions that NEED to be answered like, where do I want to live and settle down? Do I make enough money to financially support myself along with a family? Am I satisfied with my job and will I be promoted? am I with the woman of my dreams? (who I will die for, live my entire life with, fight any fight for, til death do us part)
There's a lot to seriously consider about marriage. Being married and following your life goals and dreams at the same time would be a pain in the butt. This is why men prefer to marry a bit later, we love the feeling of freedom by traveling, getting a sweet job, buying a sweet car, going out with friends, etc. After we have fulfilled our life goals and dreams, we'll eventually want to settle down by finding a woman who is mature and will make us happy for the rest of our lives and vice-versa.
Basically, in a nut shell... We want to make a lot of money by working a sweet job and complete our early life dreams and then start being committed by getting married, having kids, and permanently live somewhere.
I think women in general can not disassociate a serious monogamous cohabiting relationship and legal marriage. A private church wedding I have no problem with, but you don't need a piece of paper from the state saying you are in a committed relationship. I think for myself, and as far as the government is concerned, marriage and divorce are a predatory industry. I just don't see why anyone, man or woman, should take the legal and financial risk of marriage. The only benefit to a legal marriage is a joint tax return. That alone in my opinion doesn't make it worth it. For the women, imagine you marry a man, and he is great at first. Perfect guy, but then he falls through the cracks. He becomes an unemployed, lazy, drug addict and sits around the house all day doing nothing. When you divorce him, guess who pays who alimony? Any moral fault in a divorce, only affects the time period. So if it takes 6 months for a no-fault divorce, it would take 3 for a fault-divorce. Affairs, drug addiction, abandonment, have no affect on the outcome of debt and asset division. At least this is true in my state.
For me, no currently. My perspective isn't the most pleasing because my experiences have been terrible in the relationship department and I have low expectations on the success of marriage.
To me, there's no advantages to marriage for men. We go into a relationship thinking a woman won't change and they inevitably will. We expect women to care for us they same way we do for them; it seems like they end up despising us and constantly putting us down for not doing countless things. It seems like we end up never measuring up enough. When we try to spend time with you, you get mad for not spending time with you before. When we open up emotionally like you wanted before, you get annoyed for us opening up and then complain that the man is supposed to be the man and the woman is supposed to be the woman.
On marriage itself, half of all marriages end in divorce; the ones that end in divorce are a vast majority of the time initiated by women, often times because the man couldn't make the woman happy even if we tried. We end up being taken for granted when we try, which gets old, and when we figure that doesn't work and just want time for ourselves to think, we blamed for not trying. Many women who were once the great woman in the relationship-faze end up changing being bitter and downright awful; after all, the man decided to get married to her so now it's until-death-do-us-part, meaning it's the man's fault if she's not fulfilled no matter how high the bar went.
Then when divorce happens, women will use their children against them, take half of his assets, and do every little thing to get back at a man who never bargained for it. The reasoning for all this? It's the man's fault for marrying her because he should've known what he was getting into.
Sorry I'm kind of venting, but that's just reality as I see it from my perspective. That's no disrespect to women out there, but that what a man risks in getting married.
My wife jokes that I am an excellent boyfriend and horrible husband. We married, divorced and are back together again. Some of the reasons guys are hesitant is the words "forever" until the day you die.
Wow that's some pretty heady stuff, you mean that I have to...
No one ever goes into marriage expecting divorce, that's the last thing on your mind (if you didn't think it was going to last you wouldn't be there in the first place) So they are looking down the road at the future, kids minivan, old age retirement, OH MY GAWD I don't want THAT! Are you sure about this whole marriage thing? To most guys it means growing up, and to many guys growing up is giving up. Giving up the band, race car, bro's night out, etc etc. It's a loss of freedom, so it takes a SPECIAL girl to even make a guy THINK about that kind of stuff. Do I really want to be THAT GUY? If she is worth it, sure, but if there's even a hint that it might not be the best plan. Guys will run screaming. Do you blame them, it's a shift in attitude, girls seem to look at marriage (I'm not one so I'm not sure and if I am wrong correct me) as security, settling down and getting ready to raise kids, almost like settling into the future. But even the most mature guy is still just a big kid at heart, he doesn't want to give up the motorcycle (Yes he knows it's not safe, but that's what makes it [and him] fun). Does this help explain it?
I'm against it philosophically. I don't really understand the point of "marriage."
I understand the point of "long-term commitment," but not marriage.
I also think that, generally speaking, marriage begets complacency. I'd rather be in a relationship where we know, to some extent, that it isn't necessarily "permanent" (no relationships really are, but you get my point) so that we are less likely to take the other person for granted.
I also think monogamy is a bit. . . hmm. . is a bit of a tenuous idea. I don't really think humans--yes, both males AND females--are really meant for monogamy. That isn't to say you can't have "the love of your life," or anything like that, or that you can't faithfully be monogamous--I just think it's against our genetic makeup to have the same sexual partner for the next gazillion years (I'm assuming of course that by marriage we are excluding extramarital affairs).
Lastly, "marriage" is a huge fucking commitment, if taken seriously. And the commitment itself is VERY difficult to fulfill and to abide (hence the what, 50%+ divorce rate?). If you get married say in your early twenties, that means, according to the marriage agreement, that you are with that person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. People change. Circumstances change. Perspectives change. Attitudes change. Given all the change that happens over a person's lifespan, it's hard to simply say "yes" to that one "special person," knowing that there's a chance in twenty years, the two of you will no longer be compatible.
CHEERS!
I would honestly feel 100x more appreciated with a gf who outright told me she likes me for me and didn't want a marriage.
One thing for sure is that I am not interested in having children. So that automatically rules out so many women who want marriage as it is. They can go find someone else.
Plus as relationships move closer to marriage the couple gets way too into finances. I like having separate finances and not having to worry about going into joint accounts and such. My money is mine. I like living alone.
Also with divorce as you know the higher earning person gets screwed. Most women won't admit it but they're hypergamous which is why you see so many men getting screwed over financially. Plus it is a known fact that family courts favor the woman giving her custody of the kids. Plus look at how many states do not regulate child support spending. Many fathers have paid child support to women who never even spent the money on their kids.
The more stories guys read about women abusing the system, the more guys are gonna stay away. Most guys don't ask for much in a relationship. So unless they see women actually putting in effort into them they're just gonna treat all these relationships as fwbs unless they actually bump into a mature woman who has her act together. It is already bad enough that guys don't have many girls to choose from these days.
If I were single, knowing what I know now, I'd be very, very hesitant.
The thing is, what I'd most want is a good marriage.
But legal marriage has nothing to do with your relationship. It has literally zero impact on your relationship. All it is is a contract saying what happens if you split up. And if you look at that contract, it's outrageously biased.
So plenty of men would like to be married. What they don't want is to be divorced, versus just split up, if it comes to it. Note that women file 2/3 of divorces in north america. They anticipate keeping the house and kids and his income. They just eject the husband from their life.
I see no advantage to getting married. It often viewed as a lifelong commitment, which gives one of the people the idea their partner is trapped in the marriage, so they don't have to put in the same level of effort to keep them happy that they did before they were married. Since marriage actually isn't a commitment, so it is more likely to end in divorce now that one person thinks their husband/wife is trapped. I would say that this is the biggest problem I have with marriage.
Women are notorious for changing and withholding sex immediately after the wedding. By using sex as a weapon the man then feels unloved, ugly, and powerless in the marriage. The man's happiness no longer matters at all, and any marriage counselor will almost always slant the truth to make the man look like the bad guy, while the woman's misbehavior gets excused or overlooked entirely. As long as the woman knows it is easy for the man to dump her, she needs to put some work into the relationship. It of course isn't all about sex, but that is a common sign that the woman was pretending to be something she wasn't in order to get him to marry her.
Legally there are very few advantages to getting married unless you want to bring a foreigner into the country. For most people it just means that they will be taxed at a higher tax rate. This also gives me no reason to want to get married.
From a religious viewpoint, there may be some reason to get married, but I am an atheist, so this also holds no value for me.
I want a wife eventually, and I realize the older I get the less good women there will be.
I think we should put love and happiness second, to compatibility and rationale.
Instead of marrying someone because you love them, consider marrying them for how their personality meets and fulfilles yours, look at their finances. Girls especially, you don't want to marry someone who is bad with finances, they mighy just fuck the both of you over. Look at how hard they are willing to work for your relationship, people bail out of marriages so easy today but it never goes away. You don't want someone who when the going gets tough, they get going away!
You just need to ask yourself if that person is really good for you, all things considered. Try to be objective as possible.
I would be happy to marry a woman I love but if I dont necessarily love her but she is a good woman, I can deal with it. I know that my love for her will grow over the course of our marriage. If you spend all of your days together and have children and a home, you would probably feel something for them.
I dont expect people to see eye to eye with me on this but I wanted to share my prespective
Easy women are fucked up n the law is like 99.9 all on men when it comes too break up so most men dont wanna get married becuase if it does not work out then most girls will be bitchs take all of his man his house use the kids just too hurt him how is this right? she's the man she keeps the kidseven Iif she fucks another man n is tue reason for the break up I see it way too often. however let me try u a storu about a girl I thought was the right one very sweet caring the fuckinf girl use too sing too me wuen I got upset but... then we had a fight because she felt it was ok too have guys flirting with her n saying sexual stuff as long as she does not flirt back? Then that what happened? We worked it out she admited sye was wrong 1 point for man then her parents forced us apart she cried for months replaced me with a new bf come back too me crying saying she loves me n her parents won't let her speak too me then acted funny n shollow then blocked me n now what almost happened too me? Got on a train was so upset about many things miss my stop n all most jumped In front of a fucking train lucky god saved my ass n I got back up had no money on me but madeIit home was 5 hours away from were I needed too be... shit I can't begun too tell you whay I been through fighting for a crying girl saying she loves me all mowr died 3 times walked over 10 hours just top see her n she was not there then when I meet her face too face n ask her too marry me she could not even look me in the eye or look at me at all n said no so I just walk away. Before you say o maybe she's not theone when I met this girl I had nothing I was a fucking bum n she cused out her parents for me n said she loves me for me n does not care what they think of me... fact Iis if a guy makes just 1 mistake theirs no limt too what a girl will do just too hurt them n its fucked up guys have changed becuase 90% of girls are just fucked up sad fact of life n 90% of guys are dicks
Well in our youth, it's a big FUCK NO to marriage. This doesn't appy to all obviously, but generally speaking, we want to bang a bunch of women.
"Men want to have sex with a lot of women, once. Women want to have sex with one man, a lot"
This mainly applies to us in our youth, but I assume you're talking about the guys who say they NEVER want to get married. I can understand why, some of the stipulations of marriage make me think about whether or not I'd want to eventually get married.
I will at some point and do want to later in life, but every now and then, some things make me think "Well, maybe marrriage isn't the best thing to do"
Men have a lot more to lose when getting married...
if divorced, they are at a serious disadvantage and will lose a lot more than just a wife
Also there are certain qualities in a wife that are hard to find these days
I want to get married, but i really dont think i will...
that makes me sad
im on the fence about marriage, and the reason why is because I've seen how marriage can destroy a man first hand. People still dont get that just as looks change over time, peoples perspectives and personality can change over time as life throws you curve balls. These are the things that are unforseen before you marry to a woman. A woman can look great on paper before marriage, but 5 years after becomes a living hell. That would all be fine and dandy if the courts didn't favour women so heavily. It's rare for me to witness a divorce where the guy didn't loose the house, the kids and wasn't paying alimony for like the rest of his life. Who in there right mind would want to go through that? At the same time, i still have a bit of a desire to get married still, due to all the positives about marriage with a woman as well... hence why im still on the fence
The reason men are increasingly against marriage is because marriage is increasingly against men. Like most things today, marriage has become increasingly gynocentric.
Men give up a lot, and risk a lot, when they get married. They get some benefits in return as well, but not nearly as many as they used to. Women do not offer the same benefits to men that they used to. Men recognize that marriage is mostly for the benefit of women and children, not men. That has and will continue to undermine the institution of marriage until it disappears altogether or significant changes are made to make marriage more appealing and less hazardous to men.
1. Freedom. Sweet freedom.
2. Indepence. Beautiful indepence.
3. Give up on personal income forever.
4. Marriage is a religious thing and I am an atheist.
5. Kids. I don't like them.
6. Time. Invaluable time.
7. I have had bad experiences with my parents and I am inspired by it.
8. Crisis. I don't want to drag my kids into these shytti times.
9. My patience has ended loooong ago and I don't have any left for marriage.
10. I see no advantage to it but only surrendering.
(11.) Some women do this marriage thing because they don't know what to do with their lifes and rely on the men to solve everything. Read again: SOME! Not all! SOME!
Down me all you want. I expressed my opinion.
I have always wanted nothing more than to get married - ever since I was 18 years old or so. I am now 44 and I still haven't met a girl worth marrying. It's nearly possible to find a lady here in America. Any ladies that are left are so few and far between and seemingly all taken already. The women that available are so loose, physically and morally, that there is hardly anything there worthy of attraction, never mind a marriage. Women have whored themselves out so much at this point, they are missing out on getting a decent husband, because of it. No guy wants a girl who has been all used up, probably has had diseases, abortions, and a few illegitimate children along the way - on top of gaining 200 lbs. through all of it. GROSS.
I do wanna get married, and have kids too. Why? I don't know, maybe it's because I'll have someone to love and that will love and care for me. Someone to wake up every morning with and kiss. Someone who I can laugh and have fun with.
But marriage is not something you do without thinking, it's something you gotta be sure it's gonna work out, cause if you're not sure, it's very likely it's gonna fail.
What's in it for me? What does it really change about the relationship? Why do I need to spend thousands of dollars for a ceremony that the bride desires 50x more than I do anyway?
Honestly, it's a gamble anymore. What you think is a really secure relationship could turn out to be exactly that... or it could flip on it's head and go completely sour. And as romantic as you ladies like to dream of weddings as being, I don't feel exactly comfortable betting half my stuff and income that things will remain just peachy. I don't need marriage to love and want to be with a woman, to live together and share a life (and everything that goes along with that), and to treat her like my partner and not just a girlfriend I'm living with.
There's just so much that goes into making the marriage happen with not so much certainty to go along with it. Doesn't sound like a very desirable deal, does it?
I'm not completely against marriage and I understand that my marriage won't for certain end in divorce. However, I know a little bit of my family that it could still happen - especially if the woman in question has already divorced or separated from her man/men already and if her family has divorced. I have a few uncles that unfortunately divorced. And one of my brothers might be heading for divorce. But my parents have been married for 40+ years and they are still going strong. I'm certainly willing to work at the marriage. But if the woman isn't giving her share (100% of her 50% of our marriage) of the effort in the marriage, then it's pointless to be married. Marriage is 50/50. I understand some guys only doing 20,30, or 40. I'm a 50 man. I would give my 100% of my 50, like I should be. I'm the man that would avoid divorce at all costs - except for murder, of course.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions