Men, why don't you want to get married?

I've been seeing a lot of questions on here regarding men and marriage, so basically my question is if you're a man and don't wanna get married what are your reasons behind this? And why do you feel like some marriages don't work out?

*This is not to all men just the ones who don't wanna be married.

  • Yes; to marriage
    20% (25)44% (98)35% (123)Vote
  • No; to marriage
    10% (13)35% (78)26% (91)Vote
  • Not Sure
    6% (8)15% (33)12% (41)Vote
  • See Results
    64% (79)6% (15)27% (94)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Divorce courts are unfair and biased, a man who is the main earner can often expect to have to pay ridiculous amounts of money to his divorced wife through alimony. Robin Williams was forces to give so much money to his ex-wives that he almost went bankrupt, we're talking tens of millions, he said that he used to joke that alimony is really "allyoumoney", and that it's a way of ripping out your heart through your wallet. People talked about his depression and mental illness, but can you imagine having to give all your money to your exes so much so that you end up with none yourself? Even when they haven't earned any of it? Now this can happen to women too, however judges tend to favour women, particularly male judges, and more often than not it's the man who is the higher earner.

    When it comes to children too many men lose their kids, their vindictive exes don't allow them to see them, they use them as a weapon against their Father, and nobody does anything about it.

    On average men are 4x more likely to commit suicide, after divorce this raises to 9x more likely to commit suicide.

    Then, rather than speak against this and do something about it women just tell men like me that we're bitter and that we just need to find the right woman. But you don't know who the right woman is, they don't show any obvious signs usually. Then they complain that we don't wanna get married, well duh. If rape was still legal in marriage and rather than speaking against it men just said "you need to choose the right man?, would you do it?

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    • We commit suicide more often because we don't want to listen to women's shit any more. /thread

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    • Divorce is so ugly. I really hate these women who 'hunt' men for their money. It makes the rest of us look bad. I can understand a man paying His separated wife to stay at home to take care of children, if the children are under school age, and if they have 2+ children. Child care is so expensive, and it is often cheaper to have one parent at home, than both working and pay for childcare. However, I believe that one they go to school, the mother needs to go back to work. Also the father should only be paying for essentials, like rent, food, schooling etc.

    • Wow. So many upvotes. I've never seen so many upvotes in my life on this site

What Guys Said 112

  • If I were single, knowing what I know now, I'd be very, very hesitant.

    The thing is, what I'd most want is a good marriage.

    But legal marriage has nothing to do with your relationship. It has literally zero impact on your relationship. All it is is a contract saying what happens if you split up. And if you look at that contract, it's outrageously biased.

    So plenty of men would like to be married. What they don't want is to be divorced, versus just split up, if it comes to it. Note that women file 2/3 of divorces in north america. They anticipate keeping the house and kids and his income. They just eject the husband from their life.

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    • Not only that but if a women has had just five sexual partners statistically her marriage is nintey percent likely to end withing five years. So basically if the girls has been with one or two guys she's damaged goods for commitment.

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    • It's a national US report, so if the report you saw is international, it might include those who were forced into the marriage by their parents or only did it for economic reasons or pure survival or because 'marriage is must before you are 25'

  • I think the problems with marriage are a bit over-exaggerated. Yes, a lot of marriages fail. The reason isn't the marriage itself but that the people in the marriage couldn't handle it. Marriage is a very demanding and tough commitment and not everyone can handle it. I've seen many happily married couples, but they're the most dedicated and hardworking partners. As my brother found out, when you marry to the wrong person, bad things happen. You lose your house, your kids don't get to spend as much time with you. Your whore of an ex wife could give less of a shit about them. However, he's moved on and remarried to a woman who is actually mature and good this time, and he didn't make the mistakes he made last time.

    •Don't get married young, wait until at least 25.
    •Don't marry the person for the wrong reasons. You have to share your life with that person. If you don't think you could handle them possibly losing a job, or getting disabled and needing your help in some way, don't marry them. Love and sex can't keep a marriage together.
    •Don't marry someone who isn't going to put in the effort. My borther's ex-wife was still in her party phase. She just wanted to have a good time. She couldn't contribute anything. She was high-maintenance. Don't marry someone who isn't a full, hardworking adult.

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  • Guys are the ones who have to buy the ring and are usually the higher earner and the higher earner is usually the one who loses the most in the case of divorce which is fairly common nowadays.

    Also it's hard to find modest trust worthy girls.

    Most girls are out sleeping with guys they barely know at clubs and parties. Then after they get bored of hooking up and they want that diamond ring they'll look for a stable guy, lie to him about their past and play hard to get. Shell make him wait a months for sex to make sure he's commited and to give the illusion that she's the "relationship type" of girl even though she's normally the "fuck on the first date" kind of girl for all those guys she met at parties.

    Also I've heard enough horror stories of sexless mariages and guys getting fucked over by divorce to know it's not worth it. It's an outdated tradition that has no value.

    cdn.someecards.com/.../1318289377873_9971010.png

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    • I had to upvote simply because of that picture: too funny but too true.

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    • How is it easily observed? How can you easily observe what most girls do on weekends and watch how many of them went with girls to the party but left with a guy that is not her boyfriend?

    • by the way the downvote is not from me. I'm just saying just because you like to dance and party with friends it doesn't mean you're sleeping with those guys in clubs.

  • Can't wait to get married and get fat.

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  • Depends on if I meet the right lady. Not a lot of ladies theses days just a whole lot of hos.

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  • The reason why men are hesitant on marriage is because they ask themselves "Am I ready for this kind of commitment?". Financial commitment which includes buying a house, buying a car, getting a real job etc. and personal commitment like making a family, meeting and getting along with the in laws, etc.
    Other serious questions that NEED to be answered like, where do I want to live and settle down? Do I make enough money to financially support myself along with a family? Am I satisfied with my job and will I be promoted? am I with the woman of my dreams? (who I will die for, live my entire life with, fight any fight for, til death do us part)

    There's a lot to seriously consider about marriage. Being married and following your life goals and dreams at the same time would be a pain in the butt. This is why men prefer to marry a bit later, we love the feeling of freedom by traveling, getting a sweet job, buying a sweet car, going out with friends, etc. After we have fulfilled our life goals and dreams, we'll eventually want to settle down by finding a woman who is mature and will make us happy for the rest of our lives and vice-versa.

    Basically, in a nut shell... We want to make a lot of money by working a sweet job and complete our early life dreams and then start being committed by getting married, having kids, and permanently live somewhere.

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    • I appologize if I sounded like I wasn't speaking for myself. Of coarse this is strictly my own opinion.

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    • I figured it was, I hear about a lot of issues revolving around money. I'm not saying I don't like to have extra things in life, but as long as I have food, a place to call home, and my family is taken care of that's all I could ask for. Now if there was extra money that could be spent on fun stuff that would be great, but I try not to take things for granted.

    • I can understand that. I always love to have extra stuff and having an important role in an important job.

  • because i love my freedom ;-)

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    • Truth... you don't realize how much freedom you lose when you get married. It's not even about the opposite sex. Maybe you want to sit and not be bothered. Well, when you get married sitting is a no, you should be _______. Not being bothered? No, you need to explain why you are being so "distant."

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    • @worthlessvirgin LOL how did u find such an old post? Thanks though...

    • @Klaatu51 To be honest, I have no idea. lol :D

  • im on the fence about marriage, and the reason why is because I've seen how marriage can destroy a man first hand. People still dont get that just as looks change over time, peoples perspectives and personality can change over time as life throws you curve balls. These are the things that are unforseen before you marry to a woman. A woman can look great on paper before marriage, but 5 years after becomes a living hell. That would all be fine and dandy if the courts didn't favour women so heavily. It's rare for me to witness a divorce where the guy didn't loose the house, the kids and wasn't paying alimony for like the rest of his life. Who in there right mind would want to go through that? At the same time, i still have a bit of a desire to get married still, due to all the positives about marriage with a woman as well... hence why im still on the fence

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  • 1. Freedom. Sweet freedom.
    2. Indepence. Beautiful indepence.
    3. Give up on personal income forever.
    4. Marriage is a religious thing and I am an atheist.
    5. Kids. I don't like them.
    6. Time. Invaluable time.
    7. I have had bad experiences with my parents and I am inspired by it.
    8. Crisis. I don't want to drag my kids into these shytti times.
    9. My patience has ended loooong ago and I don't have any left for marriage.
    10. I see no advantage to it but only surrendering.
    (11.) Some women do this marriage thing because they don't know what to do with their lifes and rely on the men to solve everything. Read again: SOME! Not all! SOME!

    Down me all you want. I expressed my opinion.

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    • My views on marriage also fall under this category...

  • Men have a lot more to lose when getting married...
    if divorced, they are at a serious disadvantage and will lose a lot more than just a wife
    Also there are certain qualities in a wife that are hard to find these days

    I want to get married, but i really dont think i will...
    that makes me sad

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    • I'm that same way, I know there are still great men and woman out there but it's really hard to find them. I don't think people know what love is anymore, and the qualities we look for in a future spouse don't really exist anymore I don't guess.

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    • women has more in her bank account has more to lose too when getting divorced... they have to pay the guy money... it is no longer gender specific

    • there is still bias in the courts especially if you have children!!
      almost all the time they give custody to the mom
      in some cases thats not really the best choice for the kids...
      i dont want to get too deep into gender issues right now though

  • I think women in general can not disassociate a serious monogamous cohabiting relationship and legal marriage. A private church wedding I have no problem with, but you don't need a piece of paper from the state saying you are in a committed relationship. I think for myself, and as far as the government is concerned, marriage and divorce are a predatory industry. I just don't see why anyone, man or woman, should take the legal and financial risk of marriage. The only benefit to a legal marriage is a joint tax return. That alone in my opinion doesn't make it worth it. For the women, imagine you marry a man, and he is great at first. Perfect guy, but then he falls through the cracks. He becomes an unemployed, lazy, drug addict and sits around the house all day doing nothing. When you divorce him, guess who pays who alimony? Any moral fault in a divorce, only affects the time period. So if it takes 6 months for a no-fault divorce, it would take 3 for a fault-divorce. Affairs, drug addiction, abandonment, have no affect on the outcome of debt and asset division. At least this is true in my state.

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    • Just to sum this up, I am only against legal marriage, not private religious marriage ceremonies. So if I met say a woman who was Christian, we could have a church wedding. I just don't need the government to have any more influence in my life.

  • Well in our youth, it's a big FUCK NO to marriage. This doesn't appy to all obviously, but generally speaking, we want to bang a bunch of women.

    "Men want to have sex with a lot of women, once. Women want to have sex with one man, a lot"

    This mainly applies to us in our youth, but I assume you're talking about the guys who say they NEVER want to get married. I can understand why, some of the stipulations of marriage make me think about whether or not I'd want to eventually get married.

    I will at some point and do want to later in life, but every now and then, some things make me think "Well, maybe marrriage isn't the best thing to do"

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    • Yea I understand, I don't feel like people take marriage seriously anymore. I've always believed in marriage, but never in divorce, if you had an argument you worked it out never gave up on your husband/ wife. Divorce to me would only be an option if someone was having an affair or violence was involved.

    • I get where you're coming from. I personally don't think marriage is a big deal, I see it as being contractually connected instead of this happily every after type of thing. To me, it's basically something you just eventually do as an older adult.

      Most of the time, the penalties of divorce lean in heavy favor of the women. So that's another reason, and I'd like to think that a couple could just work it out as you suggest. But if you've been living, sleeping, communicating with the same person for 5-10+ years, the stress of your problems only get amplified.

      They get amplified by that "I wish he/she would just fucking die" marriage hatred that is lingering in the household.

  • I would honestly feel 100x more appreciated with a gf who outright told me she likes me for me and didn't want a marriage.

    One thing for sure is that I am not interested in having children. So that automatically rules out so many women who want marriage as it is. They can go find someone else.

    Plus as relationships move closer to marriage the couple gets way too into finances. I like having separate finances and not having to worry about going into joint accounts and such. My money is mine. I like living alone.

    Also with divorce as you know the higher earning person gets screwed. Most women won't admit it but they're hypergamous which is why you see so many men getting screwed over financially. Plus it is a known fact that family courts favor the woman giving her custody of the kids. Plus look at how many states do not regulate child support spending. Many fathers have paid child support to women who never even spent the money on their kids.

    The more stories guys read about women abusing the system, the more guys are gonna stay away. Most guys don't ask for much in a relationship. So unless they see women actually putting in effort into them they're just gonna treat all these relationships as fwbs unless they actually bump into a mature woman who has her act together. It is already bad enough that guys don't have many girls to choose from these days.

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  • I'm against it philosophically. I don't really understand the point of "marriage."

    I understand the point of "long-term commitment," but not marriage.

    I also think that, generally speaking, marriage begets complacency. I'd rather be in a relationship where we know, to some extent, that it isn't necessarily "permanent" (no relationships really are, but you get my point) so that we are less likely to take the other person for granted.

    I also think monogamy is a bit. . . hmm. . is a bit of a tenuous idea. I don't really think humans--yes, both males AND females--are really meant for monogamy. That isn't to say you can't have "the love of your life," or anything like that, or that you can't faithfully be monogamous--I just think it's against our genetic makeup to have the same sexual partner for the next gazillion years (I'm assuming of course that by marriage we are excluding extramarital affairs).

    Lastly, "marriage" is a huge fucking commitment, if taken seriously. And the commitment itself is VERY difficult to fulfill and to abide (hence the what, 50%+ divorce rate?). If you get married say in your early twenties, that means, according to the marriage agreement, that you are with that person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. People change. Circumstances change. Perspectives change. Attitudes change. Given all the change that happens over a person's lifespan, it's hard to simply say "yes" to that one "special person," knowing that there's a chance in twenty years, the two of you will no longer be compatible.

    CHEERS!

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  • I wanted to get married. I did get married.

    I was very aware about how many marriages end in divorce. However, the payback of growing a life together outweighed the chances of failure. So I did it.

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    • May I ask if y'all are still together?

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    • I am so sorry for your loss!

    • Thank you.

  • I do wanna get married, and have kids too. Why? I don't know, maybe it's because I'll have someone to love and that will love and care for me. Someone to wake up every morning with and kiss. Someone who I can laugh and have fun with.

    But marriage is not something you do without thinking, it's something you gotta be sure it's gonna work out, cause if you're not sure, it's very likely it's gonna fail.

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    • I agree, I feel like people jump into marriage without thinking it through and that's why a lot of them don't work out. I believe that both people have to strive to make the marriage work and if they don't, it's not gonna last.

  • I have always wanted nothing more than to get married - ever since I was 18 years old or so. I am now 44 and I still haven't met a girl worth marrying. It's nearly possible to find a lady here in America. Any ladies that are left are so few and far between and seemingly all taken already. The women that available are so loose, physically and morally, that there is hardly anything there worthy of attraction, never mind a marriage. Women have whored themselves out so much at this point, they are missing out on getting a decent husband, because of it. No guy wants a girl who has been all used up, probably has had diseases, abortions, and a few illegitimate children along the way - on top of gaining 200 lbs. through all of it. GROSS.

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  • My wife jokes that I am an excellent boyfriend and horrible husband. We married, divorced and are back together again. Some of the reasons guys are hesitant is the words "forever" until the day you die.
    Wow that's some pretty heady stuff, you mean that I have to...
    No one ever goes into marriage expecting divorce, that's the last thing on your mind (if you didn't think it was going to last you wouldn't be there in the first place) So they are looking down the road at the future, kids minivan, old age retirement, OH MY GAWD I don't want THAT! Are you sure about this whole marriage thing? To most guys it means growing up, and to many guys growing up is giving up. Giving up the band, race car, bro's night out, etc etc. It's a loss of freedom, so it takes a SPECIAL girl to even make a guy THINK about that kind of stuff. Do I really want to be THAT GUY? If she is worth it, sure, but if there's even a hint that it might not be the best plan. Guys will run screaming. Do you blame them, it's a shift in attitude, girls seem to look at marriage (I'm not one so I'm not sure and if I am wrong correct me) as security, settling down and getting ready to raise kids, almost like settling into the future. But even the most mature guy is still just a big kid at heart, he doesn't want to give up the motorcycle (Yes he knows it's not safe, but that's what makes it [and him] fun). Does this help explain it?

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  • I hate dating. I am finally back to a place (after an unwanted divorce 14 months ago) where I want someone in my life. I have found that woman. I knew after the 2nd date. SO if she doesn't break up with me, I will marry her one day. just like I knew with my first wife after only 2 weeks, and that marriage lasted 25 years. and she wanted the divorce. if it were up to me, we would still be married.

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  • I'm not completely against marriage and I understand that my marriage won't for certain end in divorce. However, I know a little bit of my family that it could still happen - especially if the woman in question has already divorced or separated from her man/men already and if her family has divorced. I have a few uncles that unfortunately divorced. And one of my brothers might be heading for divorce. But my parents have been married for 40+ years and they are still going strong. I'm certainly willing to work at the marriage. But if the woman isn't giving her share (100% of her 50% of our marriage) of the effort in the marriage, then it's pointless to be married. Marriage is 50/50. I understand some guys only doing 20,30, or 40. I'm a 50 man. I would give my 100% of my 50, like I should be. I'm the man that would avoid divorce at all costs - except for murder, of course.

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    • On that last sentence, I mean that I would divorce rather than murder my wife. But that's a last resort - complete last resort.

  • For me, no currently. My perspective isn't the most pleasing because my experiences have been terrible in the relationship department and I have low expectations on the success of marriage.

    To me, there's no advantages to marriage for men. We go into a relationship thinking a woman won't change and they inevitably will. We expect women to care for us they same way we do for them; it seems like they end up despising us and constantly putting us down for not doing countless things. It seems like we end up never measuring up enough. When we try to spend time with you, you get mad for not spending time with you before. When we open up emotionally like you wanted before, you get annoyed for us opening up and then complain that the man is supposed to be the man and the woman is supposed to be the woman.

    On marriage itself, half of all marriages end in divorce; the ones that end in divorce are a vast majority of the time initiated by women, often times because the man couldn't make the woman happy even if we tried. We end up being taken for granted when we try, which gets old, and when we figure that doesn't work and just want time for ourselves to think, we blamed for not trying. Many women who were once the great woman in the relationship-faze end up changing being bitter and downright awful; after all, the man decided to get married to her so now it's until-death-do-us-part, meaning it's the man's fault if she's not fulfilled no matter how high the bar went.

    Then when divorce happens, women will use their children against them, take half of his assets, and do every little thing to get back at a man who never bargained for it. The reasoning for all this? It's the man's fault for marrying her because he should've known what he was getting into.

    Sorry I'm kind of venting, but that's just reality as I see it from my perspective. That's no disrespect to women out there, but that what a man risks in getting married.

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    • I love your opinion on this, I have a really good guy friend who just recently got out of a divorce for almost the exact reasons and he's pretty much given up on love. It sucks that people change for the worse, when you get married you don't think that these things are gonna happen and when they do you give up on marriage and anything to do with it.

    • Yeah. I've never been married but I often consider myself a realist and to me that's the reality of it.

      In some shape or for though, I'd like to think that this sense that I have means that I'll see the warning signs in relationships even before the marriage stage.

    • I totally agree

  • I would like to marry one say, yeah. Obviously it depends on the right woman and the right timing but I'm hopeful.

    As for the dudes that don't want to do it: work, responsibility, monogamy, effort, some women (and men!) are freakin' crazy, etc.

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  • I want to know that my woman is hand-picked from above to be the true other half of whatever equation I'm supposed to be a part of, and that her and I are predestined to make a good team. From there, happiness and good sex and all that other stuff will take care of itself in the proper time.

    So far, I've run instead only into women with lots and lots of problems. Some of which I'm there to help fix, some of which, I have to avoid. Figuring out which is which is a headache in and of itself sometimes, long before marriage is even up for discussion.

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    • I'handpicked my wife myself. :)
      I don't need nor want anyone else doing that.

    • @jacquesvol: Sometimes, you gotta trust there is One who is smarter than you are. Trying to follow my own schemes without higher consultation almost always leads to disaster, because there's always some variable that I cannot factor.

    • Trusting others or 'luck' of 'fate' to direct you is a way to disaster: you know what you need, you know what you want. Others know what they want and need and t may not be the same. It probably is not the same.

  • Tou girls are risky. You change, lose interest take our money.

    I've always been against it due to what every guy I've every known had said or what I've seen happen to married men.

    Now that im in my 30s i would like to find a girl to marry. But i know it isn't my current girlfriend or the other two girls im seeing.

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  • I am feeling more and more like I do not want to get married. The reason for this is because I am a nice and kind person and most girls use that, abuse it and treat me like I am the scum of the earth. Why would I want to get married when this is how I get treated. I see marriage as a trap. Sorry not trying to be offensive.

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  • Don't think it is a gender thing but I never saw point of marriage - Would have no problem cohabiting, having kids without marriage.

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  • Never heard a man say anything positive about being married, in fact I frequently get advice from married men to never get married and they're usually not joking, same with having kids.

    Men tend to get the royal screw job in marriage, usually they bring in the most money but get to spend the least of it, wives guilt trip their husbands into things and if they get divorced holy hell they lose everything and more.

    The more I learn about marriage, the less and less appealing it appears to be.

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  • Can't wait to meet my future ex wife

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  • I want that one day, and I want to make it work.

    Given that half of marriages fail these days, though, it's an understandably intimidating prospect. No guy is looking to get attached to someone just to lose her, his children, his assets and a good chunk of his income all in one fell swoop.

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  • I want a wife eventually, and I realize the older I get the less good women there will be.

    I think we should put love and happiness second, to compatibility and rationale.

    Instead of marrying someone because you love them, consider marrying them for how their personality meets and fulfilles yours, look at their finances. Girls especially, you don't want to marry someone who is bad with finances, they mighy just fuck the both of you over. Look at how hard they are willing to work for your relationship, people bail out of marriages so easy today but it never goes away. You don't want someone who when the going gets tough, they get going away!

    You just need to ask yourself if that person is really good for you, all things considered. Try to be objective as possible.

    I would be happy to marry a woman I love but if I dont necessarily love her but she is a good woman, I can deal with it. I know that my love for her will grow over the course of our marriage. If you spend all of your days together and have children and a home, you would probably feel something for them.

    I dont expect people to see eye to eye with me on this but I wanted to share my prespective

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 17

  • Men want to screw as many women as they can, also apparently you gotta look and act like a p*rnstar . So glad I'm married to a guy who isn't brainwashed by the media who makes men think they should never ever get married and start a family. If I had to date again, I would rather scratch my eyes out.

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    • This is kinda offensive to those of us who really wanna get married and start a family. Just because a bunch of guys are what you described, doesn't mean all of us are like this.

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    • @Scrambled
      My husband and I have gone through lots of problems already, what makes a marriage good is overcoming the problems you face together. What made him a man worthy of marriage to me, was that he fully agreed with us abstaining from sex until we were married. If a man can do that you know you got a good one (and we did wait, for over three years).
      As for marriage being a created social construct: look at many animals who are monogamous (the most famous ones being swans). If animals can be monogamous and choose one partner for the rest of their lives, so can humans. It just takes a real man and a real woman, not a stupid boy and girl to make a marriage successful. 90% of the grown-ups still act like teenage boys and girls, so of course their marriages won't be successful.

    • I don't get why this stuff doesn't flag in my profile. Anyway, animals don't choose to be monogamous, they just are. But just because some animals pair for life, what makes you think humans are like those animals? I kinda like the lion... one male, couple of females to do the hunting:-) but that said we are neither. Marriage is a created construct. My president (lol) has 20 wives? That's his creation. Western values says you must have one wife. It's all created and in my opinion by power hungry men who wanted to keep their girl under legal bind.

  • Why do people WANT to get married?

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    • I think it's the whole thought of being that 'other half' to another person. The thought of being so valuable to another person, who will die by your side, care for you while your ill, scratch your back, be there for you during any emotional breakdown, somebody who will go through hell and back with you, and basically be there for you when no one else will, etc.
      Although marriage in the near future doesn't sound appealing at all to me, the benefits of someone constantly being there for me does sound pretty f*cking awesome.

    • As a married person, I can tell you why my husband and I wanted to get married. I can't speak for everyone but our reasons were:
      1. We love eachother so much that we wanted to share the rest of our lives together. Just living together wasn't worthy of how much we love eachother (that was how WE felt) so we really wanted a beautiful ceremony in a church.
      2. His family hadn't seen him for a long time, so we decided to get married in Italy (where his family lives) and give them a great party. A wedding and honeymoon was the perfect excuse.
      3. We're catholic, which means that we wanted to receive the sacrament of marriage. Which is basically the same as number one but since we're pretty serious about our faith I thought I'd include that reason as well.

    • That's what I wonder too. It's a complete waste of time.

  • My ex didn't want to get married because he says it often ruins relationships and now I oddly agree. We were perfect together, then our relationship quite abruptly ended so you can never predict how your relationship will go so imagine if you were married? Being cheated on would be a lot more difficult and expensive to deal with if you're married - marriage doesn't ensure loyalty and commitment. My parents are married and pretty much hate each other, but my mum can't leave because she can't afford it. Natty on Total Divas was with her boyfriend for 10 years, they were perfectly happy and then a year after they got married, they were seeing marriage counsellors and were looking into divorce. Marriage seems to change people's mindsets and almost increases their expectations of the other person which leads to arguments and disappointment.
    The whole thing is very risky tbh and now I see where he was coming from. It's a lovely sentiment of course but I think the cons outweigh the pros.

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  • Fuck marriage, why buy into it? If you really love each other 100% a piece of paper and legal commitment won't change that. Not in my eyes. I'm surprised that marriage is still such a social convention, I really am.

    There should be far more egalitarian laws and rules that if you are consolidating wealth and assets that a fair way of dividing them should be made. If like to point out I think that includes recompense for a partner not working and raising children. One of you normally does it and it's not fair you be punished for not earning, a fair amount would have to be considered.

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  • I think people just don't want to settle down too quickly, they can say "I will never gett married" when they're in their early 20s because at that time they want to be single and go out and party, but then usually change their minds once they get older and more mature

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    • Must mess around in 20's, must start looking or cohabitating in 30's and 40 settle down.

  • Why is this even a debate? For hundreds of years, there have been many people, both men and women, who did not want to get married, and many who did want to get married. We're all different, with different needs and preferences in our individual lives. Why can't we just do our own things and stop criticizing each other?

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  • I have met a guy who told me that his wife screams like devil in hell and purgatory and dungeon where ever that all that horrifying demons and bats and weird trees coming out of dead well abyss bottomless pit that he wants to kill himself every time she yell at him every night when he comes back home.
    besides, child cost tons of money without government insurance and all. all the hospitals are business dealing with human life so fucking evil. when they divorce, they get nothing. they want to fool around but then they can't. the burdens... besides, world is going to collapse because of too many population, ocean is dying with garbage, especially dippers, radiation is high, war is threatening, they have to run when america collapse, their health is not good, wife asking for more sex sex sex dinner dinner dinner and fun fun fun fun. who wants that shit.

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  • I've been married before, widowed, I'm a mother, I'm grandmother. Right now I'm enjoying a selfish life. Maybe someday I'll settle again but not anytime soon. I've got a bucket list.

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    • Being married is very difficult. It's not so much the routine of taking care of someone. It's a lot of fielding disagreements and being blind to their faults.

  • I don't wanna get married because relationships and marriage would be hard for me so that's why I like being single because I get to do my own thing and plus because I'm specilneeds with mental health I would have a hard time with relationships

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  • I think this is a good question for both sexes, because I don't see myself ever getting married

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    • Is there a particular reason or have you just never wanted to be?

    • When you're married people expect you to have a family and I don't really want one

  • Yes; to marriage

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  • If the man is good, i would commit for eternity !!

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  • Because they like to look at the glass half empty. As 90% of the male answers here show

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    • Marriage is a fuck up, bottom line. I take the half full approach to single life;)

    • In what way do men look at the glass as half empty? Most men have stated that the potential risks are greater than the potential rewards. So far, no female has been able to effectively rebut that stance.

  • they are lazy..

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    • What about women that don't want to get married? You're just a big example of women being exposed to radical feminism/misandry, judging by your name.

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    • I wouldn't say lazy. Its just tough screwing another girl while you married. It causes so much issues. Rather be on the level, mess around until you ready, then maybe settle down.

  • I want to get married at a young age like the rest of my family did. And there has been only 2 divorces out of like 5 generations including aunts and uncle.
    The people who divorced were druggies or Alcoholics.
    Here are my reasons why
    1. I'm waiting till marriage to have sex so I don't want to wait till I'm 30
    2. I'm not into partying so I don't care about the settling down thing
    3. I want to settle down.
    4. I want someone to be there for me when I need them

    I could go on but typing is so much work

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    • The world needs more girls like you! I abstained from sex until I was married as well, I've been married now for almost two years. It's great. It might be hard to find a guy who will stay through it but once you'll find him you just know that he truly loves you and honors you. Keep it up sweetheart, you'll never regret it :)

    • @dutchpride92 thanks!! And that's awesome that u got married when u were 20 and still are! 😊

  • Some men don't want to follow the traditional gender roles of men being the provider/protector. There's also this hatred for women's equality in the workforce. Some how some men feel that applies in the dating world as well. So, it leaves the dating world in a limbo, no one knows what to do anymore.

    I don't want to have to wear the pants in my relationship, just because I'm successful. People aren't getting married because they cannot even get a date right lol!

    See posts:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1363105-the-feminization-of-men

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1370453-guys-what-makes-you-feel-like-a-man

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    • Maybe some men, but most men that I speak to about this just simply think marriage is dumb. I do think though there is a bit of gender power at play in that, women can have easy fun with sex and relationships, but guys can't. Women can take a year off and get banged every night of the year if they chose, with random people. Guys don't have that luxury. We have to explore and experiment over time, and how we going to do that when we have to settle for one woman?

    • At 32, you are too old to be this clueless, "women can have easy fun with sex and relationships, but guys can't. Women can take a year off and get banged every night of the year if they chose, with random people. Guys don't have that luxury. We have to explore and experiment over time, and how we going to do that when we have to settle for one woman?"

      Please tell me you do not actually believe any of this lol!

    • Lol... clueless for what? I'm serious. That's a reason why many men mess around in marraige. they can't get the sex life they want and when they settle, they discover these things in marraige. Women on the other hand can explore it and discover it in a much shorter period and then settle nicely that they have lived.

  • I don't want to get married. Statically speaking though Well both work, he'll expect me to do all the house work and cook and be subservient so he can feel like want he's toldbeing a " man" is supposed to feel like- even if he feels bad about that objectively- . Men complain they lose freedom when they get married Bc they don't have time to themselves but When women marry they LITERALLY give up independence not just " free time", Bc they play a submissive role - which fucks with your dignity- So even alone she's not free. Plus I dont want kids. And I have no interest in getting someone else's stuff. So I have no reason to be intersted in marriage.

    As far as men being upset about divorce settlements. My guess is if guys spent over a decade of their lives working full time taking care of a house the kids in it and cook With no actual or independence, they'd think they had a right to money and were owed it , in a divorce as well. That part isn't crazy to me. I don't think men - or women wiTh stay at home husbands - realize what women actually have to do and give up and put up with as a wife and mom. Plus if they get no salary they are owed compensation. And I'm not saying this Bc I persoanlly wnat " stuff" from a guy bc im not even marrying. I just see it as logical. guys get mainly for sex and kids. The woman produces those commodities. married ( a wife is much cheaper than prostitutes and adoption) The financial support she does get is for the Things she brings to the marriage-- There no income for the " work " she does.

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    • You speak as if men and women are the same. It is natural for men to long for and need their independence, to provide for their loved one. And women, in general, are much more suited to be at home and care for their family. My Mom has been a housewife and mother for some 50 years. And she is the happiest, most fulfilled women I know. And she doesn't need monetary compensation for that. She has a beautiful family which is more than any amount of money. With your attitude, you will be a lonely old spinster without any real man or even children to comfort you. Not that I can imagine any man who would want to be with such a bitter feminist as yourself, anyhow.

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    • @tornreality Was that pointed at the opinion giver or me? 'Cause if it was meant for me, I have this to say: I'm not a man-hater, provided that the "man" is actually a real man. And a real man spends his life preparing to take care of the woman he's going to marry and their children. Which means a driver's license, a car (not a fancy one, just a normal functioning car), and a job (doesn't have to be a really great one either if luxury isn't an issue). A real woman spends her life preparing to be a fit mother and wife, which means she knows how to clean well and thoroughly, is able to cook an excellent meal for at least 8 people, knows how to get along with children and how to look good to make her husband proud of her. Our generation is messed up in the head; the man is expected to clean and the woman is expected to work. Just a century ago it was unheard of that a wife and mother worked. A system that worked for hundreds of years was torn down in just 30 years, that made people crazy.

    • I agree somewhat with @anonymous here. I would say a girl gives her heart and everything to a relationship and when a divorce comes, she needs compensation. Its just natural that she felt safe enough with her husband to let go and not have to pursue anything because she didn't have to. That's why she is not getting married... and I don't want to again ever either.

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