My boyfriend and I have been wanting to get married for a long time. We just found out today that if we get married, we will lose a portion of our benefits each month, because we are both disabled. SSI takes away some of your benefits when you get married, when you combine your incomes.
So we are being discouraged from getting married.
I still want to. My boyfriend might still too, but he said it wouldn't be anytime soon. I'm worried that the person who told us this, might convince us altogether... So I was thinking of surprising him by asking him for a commitment ceremony together instead of a legal marriage, if he would be willing to.
That's what gays and lesbians have to do right now, since Proposition 8 passed in California. Why should we be any different?
But see, the thing is, I can't ask, "Will you marry me?" Because we can't "technically" get married legally without losing benefits. But I still want to pop the question. I want to propose to him, kneeling before him on one knee. What can I say?
"Will you commit to me?" sounds too stiff.
Does anyone have any ideas?
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