My ex has turned around all the way. It’s like he is a new person, he is now everything I wanted him to be in a relationship. We hung out a few times as friends (got lunch, boba, etc.). When I bring up the lack of effort before from his side he says (the past is not our concern, I’m changed now and want to give you what you really deserve). He says he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted and if really wanted to marry me, but now he has made up his mind and knows that I’m the one for him. He has been really nice, but I’m not sure that will last? I’m scared but I still love him and I always knew he loved me too but couldn’t give me what I needed. We dated for 3 years. He now wants to take me on dates and take me to places I wanted to go when we were dating but he couldn’t make time before (now he finds the time). I’m confused because he feels like home when we hangout, I’m scared I will never find someone like him again. He is really trying to win me over again, but I’m scared that it will stop after I give him another chance. Do I go on a real date with him or do I tell him no? Do I keep in contact with him or do I cut him off completely? He makes me happy now but… I’m nervous
Do I give him one more chance?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Yo girl, I feel you on being confused about this whole thing - your ex really got you in your feelings now. But from where I'm standing, I'd say listen to that nervous feeling in your gut. Dude had THREE YEARS to step it up before and he didn't, that's a long time to keep you hangin'.
Now suddenly he's all changed up overnight and just expects you to jump right back in? Nah, don't fall for the sweet talk so easy. Sure it's dope to feel like "home" with him, but that's part of why it's so risky to give second chances too fast. Emotions mess with your head.
My advice would be keep things friendly for now. Don't fully commit till he earns your trust over TIME, not just empty words. See if his new effort is consistent first, not some flash in the pan before he goes back to his old ways. Protect your heart, queen!
You said it yourself - being scared it won't last is a red flag. Don't ignore them nerves. Give it more dates, more time to prove himself steady, before jumping all the way back in the deep end. You deserve to feel SURE after being stressed like that before. Keep your options open too - don't cut everyone else off for his maybe, feel me?
Stay strong sis, you got this, just take it real chill and put yourself first for once! Let HIM prove it to YOU before believing his new hype.
Thank you!! This is really reassuring:)
My pleasure Queen ❤️🌹
Personally I've never had hope moving backwards but I'd say if you wanna put it to the test, you'll be putting it for the test for both of us, best of luck.