Why do I always lose fights and get beaten?

I want to be a tough guy. I want to look confident when I m with girls. I want them to feel secure when they r with me. but I m just the opposite. I have the anger but my hands n feet gets cold n weak when I start arguing with guys. I have been involved in 4 or 5 fights n most of the time I've got beaten up. I want to hit first but I can't do it as a result I will be the first one to receive it n as I receive the first blow I get down on the ground n get punched n kicked until someone intervenes. I have had my nose bled n eyes cut in most of the cases. it's so embarrassing. I feel like a pussy. Am i a pussy for always getting beaten up? what should I do?


0|0
6|10

Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you train in boxing/muay thai/mma/krav maga? If not, do that. Learning how to hit hard is the most important thing.

    As for not being able to throw the first punch, that's normal. When it's getting heated your body produces the "fight or flight" response and pumps you full of adrenaline. You'll probably feel weaker and start shaking a bit, and usually people mistake this for fear, but it's just the affects of adrenaline. Adrenaline makes you faster, stronger, and it numbs pain. It happens because back in caveman times there was a lot of danger from predators, the animals our ancestors hunted for food, or rival tribes. It's a performance enhancer. We feel the affects of it more today, and we become confused by the effects because there's little danger nowadays.

    I used to be the same until I started boxing with some guys I knew. We'd do a lot of sparring, and they were twice my size so they'd beat the shit out of me twice a week every week at first, until I started getting better and better. When you do it every week it's no big deal, you don't get scared or intimidated by anybody. Just like I said, the reason you feel so nervous is because you don't face violence very often.

    0|0
    0|0
    • yes may be I need lots for beatings in practicing boxing. I can get used to the punches n all the pain n slowly I will learn the art of punching at the right timing n with full force with maximum damage.

    • Yeah, most peoples' biggest fear is getting hit and that causes people to freeze up just like you do when you can't throw the first punch. Boxing is great for that.

What Girls Said 6

  • I am going to be hon est here: being able to win a physical fight doesn't make us automatically feel safer with you, especially if you throw the punch first. It actually shows us that you're more likely to provoke DANGER and that you have a potentially violent attitude. Mind you, yes, there are some women into super aggressive guys, but seeing as you're not, there's a better way to handle it.

    What is more sexy is a guy who can use his words and his aura to make people back off - and if they don't, has enough pride to take his girl's hand and lead her to a safer more comfortable place. It shows you have a solid enough masculinity to tell someone who's bothering you to stop, but are wise enough to consider the safety of your girl first by not putting you or her in a situation where someone could get hurt.

    I hope this helps, good luck.

    2|2
    0|0
    • She said more politely than I, she's giving you good advice.

    • Show All
    • You're welcome. Damn, I actually feel a bit bad now for coming off too harsh...

    • Nahh. No worries.

  • You're a pussy for thinking it's manly to engage in fist fights, not because you get beaten up. Do you seriously think that impresses a woman?

    1|2
    0|0
    • it's not about impressing a woman but for my own male ego.

    • Show All
    • "Don't put yourself in that position then." Are you an idiot? Honest question because people can get beaten and robbed for literally no reason.

    • I'm done, go insult elsewhere.

  • Personally, If I were with a guy and he was fighting I'd feel rather embarrassed at how childish he is. you'll be more of a man if you act maturely and don't get involved. But if you are in a situation that you can't walk out of then of course defend yourself but don't get too carried away. Women will respect you more in that way. I'm sure they'll prefer a gentleman rather than a hard man with an inflamed ego. If that makes sense.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Don't start shit, but don't allow people to walk all over you either.

    0|1
    0|0
    • i dont' start it. but i can't even walk away like my friends do. they just walk away but i can't. this is why i am always in trouble.

    • Show All
    • yes taking classes n always taking something with me, like a knuckle, or a small screwdriver or a nail cutter.

    • No that's dirty don't do that.

  • Honestly? You don't need to get into fights for a girl to like you, and in fact doing so just to impress a girl is gonna turn them off every time. Just be yourself and trust your gut.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You need to learn some good choke-hold and Grappling techniques. It is possible to put someone in a hold so if they move, then their arm or leg will break. This way they' ll realise they can't beat you. It doesn't even matter if they are bigger and stronger than you, because with skilled techniques you' ll be able to overpower a guy with only two moves. You then have to choices either, hold him until he backs down or beat the fuck out of him as you have him in a hold.

    0|0
    0|0
    • thanks for that I think yes a couple of good techniques can make a lot of difference. it's not that I have lost all the fights. I have fought may be six fights and in three of them I was unconsciously drunk. one fight was me VS three big guys where I was lucky enough that I hit one of the guys first n he was sitting on the chair with a bloody nose. then I had to face the other two. one of them pushed me n I fell down on the ground n landed on my broken beer glass n had a nasty cut. the other one was with a guy again I had opportunity to hit him first n he was on the ground. I was on top of him n started punching until the security came n pulled us apart n I got bared for three months from that pub. the most embarrassing was a fight with a guy where I was too drunk. I got kicked n punched n there were lots of people watching. my neighbours. after he hit me n punched me some guys pulled us apart n i just wanted to sleep on the ground. i don't even remember what happened.

    • A lot of people throw punches and think that is all that is needed. You have lots of body parts which make awesome weapons. For instance i use my knees , elbows, head , feet and legs. They are powerful weapons, used skilfully , you can beat any guy on the street no problem. Obviously i don't just trow them about randomly,, there is techniques in using them to get the better of someone

What Guys Said 9

  • learn how to fight

    0|2
    1|1
  • oh well... maybe hit da gym bro... and workout like a maniac 8)

    0|3
    0|0
  • I am good with fighting. I never lost a fight. And it is unlikely I lose a fight if my opponent is not a trained fighter. But I suck at getting girls.

    Here's what i am trying to say. Your ability to fight has no effect on how many girls you can get. And if you manage to get a girl through fighting it is not a girl you want to be with

    Don't start fighting to get girls. In fact don't fight at all. It's barbaric. I said before I am good at fighting but if there is any chance i can walk away from a fight I will take that chance even when I know I can easily beat my opponent.

    I'll bet most girls like guys that show restraint, that are kind and can rely on their intelligence instead of there fighting skills. Please stop this.

    Why don't you work on yourself from the inside out. That's where true strength comes from.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYgWqPsmIbA

    0|0
    0|0
  • You need Kung Fu. It teaches you how to avoid confrontation and how to be effective when you have no choice. It is utterly brutal. Unlike many other martial arts, it is no sport. Rooted in the military, Kung Fu still contains throat, eye, groin, joint and nerve strikes. The particular type I study is called Kuntao Silat and comes from China and Indonesia. I have practiced for thirty years, training at various times with students of Willem Reeders. You can find wiki articles on Kuntao Silat and Master Reeders, who also went by the name Liu Seong.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Fighting is a skill, it's not something that you can just do. It's not as easy as just throwing a punch, there's much more to it than that. If you haven't studied combat and have only been in a few fights then it's not surprising that you find yourself in that situation.
    The real trick to fighting study is to not have to fight, and when you choose to its not out of fear or anger. (if your mad you've already lost). To be relaxed and calm.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You have to know that fighting is not a sign of confidence, your personality decides that, well with fighting you can build some confidence. .. but to make another fights, not to improve your actual value... i remember when i was a kid and i was badly proud of my self when i kick someone's ass, but now i see it as a pointless type of thinking, i see it as a less confidence behaviour, well it's nice to not get beaten up, but i wouldn't start a fight with someone wants to from the first place, well train sometimes, get some meat, go to gym, motivate your self.. and the most important you have to know who you really are, and then improve, everyone can do the best they can, but they have to know how to do it in their own way... don't think fights will improve your confidence. . no it's going to improve your arrogance. .. wish to get stronger, but i would recommend you to use it to defend your self onle..

    0|0
    0|0
  • Are you actually trying to be in fights or do they come to you? It seems like you are trying to fight people which is real stupid, since you or the other idiot could die. I prefer not fighting. I prefer fun and happiness, not stupid crap like fights. And people are smart enough to know not to mess with me, due to my large frame.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your confusing toughness with the ability to be confident around girls. There is really no need.

    But if you wanna get tough pick a martial arts and dedicate yourself to it!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Also weight lifting alone will make you more intimidating. But the biggest factor is posture and confident. Standing upright + broaden shoulders + walking dead ahead will make most guys back the fuck away from you. Haha.

    • i have done weight lifting before but now i don't have that muscle anymore. but weight lifting will just make u look bigger doesn't make u stronger n win a fight.

  • Violence is not a good option.

    1|0
    0|1
    • A man is among us! 👍🏻

    • Show All
    • is it self defence
      obviously I will but my hands are made to protect my girl😘
      not to hurt others😊
      @Remonster

      I never said that you are a pussy and if you born as a men and you are hand caped so you can't fight that doesn't make your manhood into a pussy 😊

    • @asker
      I never said that you are a pussy and if you born as a men and you are hand caped so you can't fight that doesn't make your manhood into a pussy

Loading...