What does it mean that my boyfriend wants to hang out with his brother Friday night instead of me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend idolizes his older brother. I'm happy they have a good relationship but I think it's weird that on a Friday night he wants to hang out with him instead of me? Sometimes I feel like he ditches for him? Should I worry? Shouldn't he want to hang out with his girlfriend on a Friday night?

[loveandbeloved1103]

There's nothing wrong with your boyfriend spending time with his family. He may be your boyfriend, but you don't own him. Maybe try for another night? There's more than one...It isn't weird at all, and no offense, it's kind of odd to assume that you're more important to him than his family is. He can love you both. Let him spend time with his brother, it's not like he's going to leave you for him. And as for the planning, he's a guy. What he means is that he doesn't care what you do, as long as he spends time with you. If he says he loves you and you don't need to worry, there's a good suggestion that you shouldn't have to worry.

[helpmealitttle]

In regards to preferring to spend Friday nights with someone other than your loved one, do you think it's normal for your boyfriend to ALWAYS want to hang out with his mates instead of his girlfriend that night and you never get to see him that night? And he also says that his mates are a higher priority than you, even when he's made plans to see you that night instead of his mates but then he ditches you without any update because his close mate needs him, which is only for a catch up?

[helpmealitttle]

I completely understand your question and why you wonder why he would rather spend Friday night with his brother than you. I don't have the answer though because I'm wondering the same thing, except my boyfriend wants to spend every Friday night with his mates which he classes as brothers and he can't see why spending Friday night with him is so important to me. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it something along the lines of Friday being the end of the week and the only person you can't wait to see is him?

[celestialdaeva]

Omg get over yourself. Call up your friends and make your own plans for Friday night. As long as you guys see each other regularly, it doesn't matter what day of the week it is.

[Anonymous]

"Shouldn't he want to hang out with his girlfriend on a Friday night?"

Why? What makes Friday night so special?

Do you think you have a claim on it or something?

[helpmealitttle]

This is one of the problems I'm having with my boyfriend. He doesn't understand why Friday nights are when I would like to spend time with him but instead he would rather hang out with mates. I don't know about other girls but to me, Friday is special because it marks the end of the week and it's seeing him is something to look forward to, to finally spend a night with your man and get to sleep in the next day.

[Opinion Owner]

Well you do realize that just because YOU feel a certain way about a day, doesn't mean he is going to feel the same way, right?

[madhatters4]

do they get to hang out a lot? do you and your boyfriend live together? do they have specific plans for Friday? do you two have (or had) specific plans for Friday?

[Asker]

No we don't live together. It just feels like he puts him first and not me. I know it's insecure, I just don't know if I should get a hint that maybe he losing interest. We didn't have plans, but I asked him to go to a baseball game with me and that's when he said he had plans with his brother. He did that two weeks ago too, he doesn't tell me until last minute and then doesn't understand when I tell him I was expecting us to hang out. I just thought guys would want to hang out with their GF?

[Asker]

And yes they see each often.

[madhatters4]

well I think it's fair to ask for a little more notice. however, if you don't mention your thoughts for plans on Friday til Wednesday then it seems fair to think that he may have already made plans.

I think you should simply communicate that you would like to know if he has plans and not have to find out only by asking. but at the same time Friday is only one day so don't make a big deal about it and don't feel like he doesn't like you or value you because he makes other plans

[Asker]

I really appreciate your thoughts and advice. It's very helpful. Is it normal that I feel like I always have to make the plans? He likes to sit home and watch movies or go fishing/hunting. I want to hang out with friends and go to school events but he doesn't like that as much and I get frustrated. I have communicated that I want him to plan more stuff but he just says he does plan stuff and tells me how much he lives me and not to worry so much. But when your boyfriend doesn't make plans it sucks.

[madhatters4]

it's understandable to be frustrated. try to really think back though and may document when and if he did makes plans. you kind of have to be able to decide what level of participation is OK with you. he may not be the planning type... I'm confused though you mentioned school events, your profile says you're 36 you mean like your childrens school stuff?

[Belle5]

Ohh...

Don't get angry...

It's a little thing... He can't hang out with you 4 his brother,it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or doesn't care about *YOU...

Give him some freedom... Let him fly...

[onlyaguy]

What Belle5 said. ^^

[Asker]

But isn't it weird that he would rather hang out with his brother than me on a Friday night?

[Belle5]

Ohh...

Don't get angry...

It's a little thing... He can't hang out with you 4 his brother,it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or doesn't care about him...

Give him some freedom... Let him fly...