Translating Guy Speak: What He REALLY Means When He Says...

[voltage]

Girls, you know what I'm talking about, right?

When your boyfriend - or guy you have a crush on - says something that you think is straightforward but really, if you start to think about it, it's anything but. It's ridiculous that guys always accuse girls of speaking in code when guys do the exact same thing. The only difference is I'm not even sure they realize they're doing it. Maybe they think there isn't any "code" and that we see through it all, anyway.

Well, if you weren't given the Girl/Guy Guidebook, let me give you the abridged version:

"I only look, I never touch."

Translation: "I spend half my goddamn day ogling other women."

Guys who say they "look but never touch" are likely the biggest flirts that ever walked the earth. They're saying it so they have license to look...no, not look. Leer. Ogle. And the girl isn't allowed to call them on it because all he has to do is look all innocent and go, "baby, I told you I never touch!" As if that makes everything okay. Hey, a guy can draw my eye, too, and I totally get it if a girl grabs my guy's attention. But we all know what you really mean, my horny friend.

"I really don't care that much about sex."

Translation: "You suck in bed."

This is a hard pill to swallow but trust me ladies, you'll be better off just accepting it. When a guy starts talking about how sex doesn't matter much, that it's "not a big part of his life," that he's not "obsessed," you might want to ask yourself: Doesn't it sound suspiciously like consolation? That's because it is. He's saying the sex just isn't doing it for him and FYI, you either have to step up your game or he's going to start shopping around. Maybe he already has.

"I like you but I don't like you."

Translation: "We will never, ever be naked together."

The good news is that guys stop trying this after a certain age (I think). The bad news is I keep hearing younger girls complaining about this all the time. I guess guys are starting to let girls down easily by saying something like this, though it unfortunately strings girls along. See, when a man says this, the first thought in a woman's mind is: "Oh, so at least he likes me a little; I can convince him to go the rest of the way." Sorry girlfriend, but no, you can't.

"You're suffocating me!"

Translation: "I don't want to hear you talk for the rest of the day."

Guys are big on using terms like "suffocating" and "obsessing," always ready to accuse girls of blathering on and on and asking stupid questions like, "what are you thinking?" But men have overused the hell out of such accusations so no, it just sounds like you don't want to talk...ever. I've had a guy tell me to stop suffocating him when I asked how his day was over the phone. Literally like seven words and he was ready to hang up, and I hadn't spoken to him all day. WTF.

"I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship."

Translation: "I just prefer my 'position' was closer to someone else."

Granted, a guy might say this and really mean it. But usually not. This load of bullcrap is often reserved for guys who like to play the "it's not you, it's me" card, or the "I have to focus on myself" ploy. Yeah, and you see them two days later trolling the same online dating site where you two met, right? I wonder how many times the same guy can use the "I'm just in a good position for a relationship" argument in the same year...like ten times, maybe?

There. That should help my fellow girls out a little. ;)

[Anonymous]

Hilariously inaccurate in so many ways.

You know how girls are always getting confused by guys? It's because of shit like this.

You're so wrapped up in the idea of hidden meanings and messages, that when guys say "We say what we mean and we mean what we say, we ARE that simple" you just can't accept it. Instead you come to the rather insane conclusion that guys are still talking in code, but WE JUST DON'T KNOW WE ARE.

You women are crazy as hell...

Take this ""I really don't care that much about sex."
Translation: "You suck in bed."

That's utter bullshit for starters. Some guys do just have a low-libido. But like the partner of a guy who loses his erection, she HAS to make it ALL ABOUT HER. "Is it me? did I do something wrong? Am i not attractive anymore? Did I wear the wrong thing? It's me, isn't it?"

"I like you but I don't *like* you."
Translation: "We will never, ever be naked together."

NO. This is something a woman might mean when she says that. A guy can fuck anyone, even someone he only "likes" instead of "*like* likes". No, he means what he says. he likes you well enough as a person, and he would fuck you, probably, but even if he fucked you, he's NOT going to have a relationship with you.

And as for suffocation - that is a desire for space. To breathe. Hence the word suffocation. And your silence is just a bonus, really. He's not saying shut up. He's not even saying Go Away. He's saying "Let me Go Away" "Let me breathe"

[Mimi_loves_her]

I mean the last one if I say shut up to someone I love over text it means to not stop talk to me or I say leave me alone to someone I love i don’t mean it I just don’t want to seem weak or like im to sensitive so I push you away then cry

[thewanderingme]

plenty of guys will get naked with a female without liking her.

[Scared_Banana]

dis is true

[Unit1]

Definitely!

[Nik1hil]

Counnt me in

[93stepsawayfromhome]

Key word here is "plenty", not "all".

[Nik1hil]

@93stepsawayfromhome 🙀

[btbc92]

Okay I have to say that I am quite surprised with the MyTake. And most of this is not true at all.

"I only look, I never touch.": We can't deny that men look. Few will go as far as to touch if their real creeps. But not all men do any, if their only concern is the one they are with. So unless the guys interest is still open to other women, regardless if he finds her attractive or not, he will not stray from the one he is with.

"I really don't care that much about sex.": Wrong to the negative power. Even as a virgin, I got the same remark a few times as a young girl. Are you kidding me? You don't know their sex drive. You never had sex with them, and you can't even based that fact just because you did once. Some people just don't care, or put it as an importance in a relationship or their lives! Not all men are horny dogs, and it's disrespectful to even assume that. And just because a person refuses to have sex, it doesn't mean they don't have a sex drive or a high libido! They're just more disciplined then most people, and don't need to rape everything that walks! The same applies to me as a woman. Just because I don't have sex, or masturbate and believe in saving oneself for marriage. It doesn't mean I don't have a sex drive. It's just it's for one person and person only: The future husband. That's it.

"I like you but I don't like you.": That translation is dumb. I don't know if this is from your personal experience, but you have it all wrong. I study people. And this is not what men are saying. Some are very direct in telling you if he's never going to have sex with you, let alone being naked in front of you. This sentence means he just has mixed feelings/emotions and is trying to sort them out! So unless he is a natural feeler, most men cannot deal with emotions! Henceforth, which is why they hate and avoid explosive arguments with so much emotion. They may get too vulnerable to the point their ashamed, or be ready to do something they will regret: like putting a hand on a woman as an example.

"You're suffocating me!": Some men can't handle ongoing conversations where your repeating your feelings and emotions, but you refuse to give them facts. They want what the FACTS! Point A to Point B means you made it to C! Did you? Yes or No? But when you telling them how you FEEL about Point A and what you did all in-between to get to Point B! And how B made you cranky all morning, on and on and on. I'd avoid you too.

[btbc92]

"I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship.": Look, does it matter if he is or isn't? As long as he isn't leading you on, its common sense to just find somebody else who interested in a relationship with you. There is no hidden agenda unless you can really sense there is. Maybe they really aren't. Or maybe they are, but doesn't feel he can with you. Okay then. Grow a pair, suck it up buttercup, and move on if that's what you want. Not make a big stink about what a guy does. Because it may not be all what its cracked up to be. This is why I'm thank God everyday for being by myself. I can study and observe the behaviors of people as much as I want to come up with this answer. Not bad of a MyTake, but please be mindful of proper observation and build your communication skills more without immediate judgement, and you will understand why men behave the way they do. Many often react and mirror of us as females to justify their actions.

[FakeName123]

Quality reply. This entire take sounds way too much like the writer had some real bad experiences and/or is projecting.

[btbc92]

@FakeName123 I had bad experiences too. Maybe not as bad as people in relationships or were, but nobody really understands me unless they want to. But I'm not going to allow myself to be bitter because of these experiences. This is why I'm by myself, because I cannot handle or deal with modern day relationships. I'm basically unqualified for a lot of guys, or their made because I would do what they want. But the MyTake owner needs to understand that she is reading into this very wrong, its so scary. And they want to know why their relationships fail and end up single all over again.

[FakeName123]

Essentially everyone had bad experiences in one way or another. My point was that the MyTaker owner is using her bad experiences for this Take. Or to use your choice of words - she might be bitter about those bad experiences.

In the end communicating is a two-way street of both sides trying to express themselves and trying to understand the other part. Problem is that not everyone speaks the same language. It's like a programmer trying to force a Java programm to understand C++. Just doesn't work.

Though not sure what you mean with "cannoth deal with modern day relationship"

[btbc92]

@FakeName123 Meaning how many people are not traditional and they was far too casual and expect you be the same way. Most of them at least. I get bullied, made fun of, how I wouldn't make a great wife/mother, etc.

But your right about that. That is what I was basically saying. But it sounds like to me she just wants what she wants, and a closed off mindset like that without consideration is not communication. Its selfishness.

[FakeName123]

Don't know where you are from. I am rather traditional myself and can't relate. Yes, some people react somewhat weird to it, but no one attempted bullying or mocking me for that.

[NearlyNapping]

"I only look, I never touch."

Translation: I'm male. Of course I'm gonna look. Duh!

Guys will spot a chick way off in their peripheral vision at 200 meters on a foggy day. We're just made that way.

"I really don't care that much about sex."

Translation: If a guy actually says this I can only think of a few things. Either he really means it. Or he's white knighting. Or he's lying as a roundabout way to get in your pants.

"I like you but I don't like you."

Translation: Pretty straight forward, no code here at all. Or maybe... what's the semi-polite way of saying this? Lets just say you might not be a head turner.

"You're suffocating me!"

Translation: Again, pretty straight forward. It means give him more room already. Don't expect his constant attention. Don't be clingy. And yes, it might mean you talk too much.

This is really a compatibility issue, since everyone has different expectations on how much time and attention they get from their SO. Couples have to be on the same wavelength with this one.

""I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship."

Translation: This sounds like someone with personal issues and they don't know what the heck they want. They can't even express it to themselves, let alone anyone else. It sounds like someone who would be wishy-washy and send mixed signals.

[rjroy3]

"I only look, I never touch" = just because I have a girlfriend does not mean I'm gay. I'm going to notice other women, but you can trust me. I won't cheat on you.

" I really don't care that much about sex." = he's either dead serious because of some righteous conviction, usually because of religion (I said this when I was younger and it was true). Or, he's just saying it as a way to help you not feel pressured for sex.

" You're suffocating me!" = stop trying to nag me into doing something I don't want, because you can't accept the fact I'm not a woman. Or, you're overwhelming me with your neediness for attention.

"I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship" ... this one actually is some BS lol. I've never used it. It = I don't value enough to give up singledom to be with you/ I straight up don't want a girlfriend but don't have the balls to tell you that because I like the hooking up/attention I get from you. Basically stringing a girl along.

Now I have said, "I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now", but that's because I was still fresh off a breakup and not emotionally ready for another relationship. And I truly didn't want to turn a girl I liked a lot into a rebound. I wanted to be able to give her my heart. But I also understand not all guys are like that.

[Nothanks700]

Lol. Disagree with almost all of these. Men are capable of emotion dear.

"I only look, I never touch" that's just a weird thing to say, but you also spend half your day ogling men, even if you like to pretend you don't.

"I like you, but I don't like you" I think this is pretty plain and obvious, and requires no translation. He likes you as a friend or person, but is not physically attracted to you. Getting upset about this is as ridiculous as the "nice guy" syndrome, just because a guy is nice doesn't mean you will sleep with him, there has to be attraction there.

"You're suffocating me" I have never used this to mean, you are talking too much today. If I ever say it, it means you are being overly clingy and high maintance, and if you don't back off we're breaking up.

"I'm just not in a good position for a relationship right now" no, this does not usually mean, " I'm not into you" if that were true, most men would just say that- were usually pretty direct. It means what it says. Maybe he is going through some personal issues, is focusing on his career, or whatever else.

[ImNotTriggered69]

This is all bullshit.

Here's what those things really mean.
I. I only look, I never touch. = I'm a man, when I see an attractive woman I look because she is attractive, but I wouldn't cheat. (Looking as in the way I would look before crossing the street. Not leering like a pervert.)
II. I really don't care that much about sex. = I don't our relationship to be based on sex.
III. I like you but I don't like you. = I like you as a friend. We don't have chemistry.
III. You're suffocating me! = I need some space to do things that I enjoy. I have a life outside of this relationship and it's not healthy to neglect my hobbies.
V. I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship. = I don't want to have a relationship right now/Or I'm not interested in committing to a relationship with YOU.

[ImNotTriggered69]

Don't want*

[Telekinetic-Potato]

"I like you but I don't like you."
Translation: "We will never, ever be naked together."

Holy shit stop! This isn't bullshit. I need to tell a girl this right now because I thought we were friends with benefits and then she started calling me her boyfriend and I'd really like to just be friends. Don't spread stuff like this when it makes things harder on people like me!!! lol

"I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship."
Translation: "I just prefer my 'position' was closer to someone else."

This one isn't really true either. Sometimes we have jobs or we are recovering from a tough breakup. Sometimes we see problems and want to avoid them because what's the point if 2 months into the relationship it's already falling apart. Then your just wasting time.

[666threesixes666]

eh not so much. guys get dragged through tons of shit, not in a good position for a relationship can mean he's going to gather himself, and address problems rather than rebound into the next terrible relationship repeating old mistakes. i don't really care that much about sex, some guys want other aspects like security, comfort, trust, not a hurricane of one nighters. i care more than a little about it, everything has to be perfect to get it out of me. i want all nighters, not girls that make me question myself being with them.

sometimes what you say about others says more about yourself than it does about others. this whole take says to me that you don't help put guys insecurities, and fears about being with you to rest. instead you fuel the fire for them to leave you. look but don't touch, constantly thinks about sex, but doesn't defile himself. appreciates many women's form, shopped around, and found what he wants.

[Anonymous]

1. It's alright for them to look but don't touch as long as he is OK with us looking and not touching.
2. It could really be that he is having trouble in bed and is too ashamed to let you know.
3. He likes you as a friend but that's it. I understand this. What's so hard to understand.
4. He needs time to be alone. I get that. If he keeps saying it though, it's time to call it a day.
5. He is trying to let you down easy, though it's never easy to hear this. Specially if you are into him. Get on with your life without him. Don't try to push it. It won't do you any good.

[AleDeEurope]

This Take will do good with the girls in GAG, despite being all wrong xD

[Unit1]

Yes indeed, this is somehow too funny xD

Or maybe overthinking? hmmm ;P

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Ha, here's the thing, you can't convince them by simply telling them, they have to be shown. But even then... And be honest, there are f***head dudes out there lying their a** off out there on the dating scene making it difficult for decent men.

[tbm1986]

I had a chuckle and agree with all of them, except maybe the last one. It may be true in a lot of cases but 90% of the time, when I say it, I mean I have mega issues I'm getting depressed about (possibly due to a bad break-up or a girl I've fancied for ages turning me down) and I'm better off alone for a while.

[Anonymous]

Regarding the "suffication", a guy can feel like not talking at any particular time. You can force yourself on one, but don't expect him to like it. Just because they agreed to it 24 hours ago doesn't mean they are consenting today, or that their desire for talking has recharged during that time.

[RedVulcan]

Disagree with the last one and personaly never heard the first one, but the rest seem about right.
Some people genuinely can't get into a relationship at that given moment. It's true that some may use it as a bs excuse but for instance I won't be able to keep up a serious relationship well next year because grade 12 will be hard.

[IceCubedude]

well most of these are excuses we give but you got everything wrong, " i like you but dont like you " one is when a guy wants to get laid with no strings attached.

"I'm just not in a good position right now for a relationship." again its all about sex nothing more nothing less.

[Unit1]

Eh?
I never said anything of above :O
Nevertheless I would never talk in such encrypted messages. I would only talk in a logical sense and I would be honest and straightforward, however in situations where the truth will cause drama, sometimes a lie is easier to give.

Oh and don't forget the obvious sarcasm ;)

[feminismisnarcissism]

this is all very true... and on #1 - nothing is wrong with looking as long as it's not WHILE WITH YOUR GIRL. I wouldn't tell her "oh ya I look" as what good does that do? I assume she looks too-why press the issue, why drag a nonthreat into the light? Seems immature to say that-and sounds more like the calling card of a cheater to me. "I look but don't touch" the others are all spot on.

[far2gud4u]

I find guys usually just speak the truth and most women dont wanna listen. Like the first one yeah they say it and it means 'woman get off my back I will look and continue to look stop being so overbearing'

[Anonymous]

1. No
2. Yes
3. NO, Never heard any guy say this... ever.
4. A better translation is "You need to calm the fuck down, and stop overthinking everything, because you are turning into a crazy, obsessive bitch right now, and if I come right out and say it you will flip out on me."
5. Better translation: IDGAF about anyone but myself, and I am just looking for a pump and dump.

[MrOracle]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkKtV81u_VM

Chris isn't wrong...

[Investigator]

I went into this MyTake assuming the OP would have no idea what guys ACTUALLY mean and butcher her so-called "translations" the same way Hollywood butchers video games.

I was not disappointed.

[Pacificblue62]

This is how you interpret those phrases when they are being said by a guy. This may apply to some guys but it's ridiculous to assume this is what all guys mean if they where to say these phrases. #1 I agree with more than the others. #2 definitely does not only mean that. The rest could mean other things as well. There isn't some code to crack to understand an entire gender. People vary on a case to case basis. Men and women.