Girl tells me she doesn't want relationship right now, but we are sleeping together and kissing?

I have been seeing this girl for about two months. We pretty much took off on fire, a lot of sex, going out often, really enjoying each others company. she went to her home country recently and came back a little different. She told me that 6 months before she met me, she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years and had trouble with him when she went home (abuse, bad phone calls at night etc). Before she went home she was adamant we were together (bf/gf) but now she says she "cant" be in a "relationship" now and said she told herself she couldn't be in one after she broke up with her boyfriend. The thing is...We are still going out together, having fun, kissing, and having sex. On the face of it it seems like nothing has changed. Except for the fact that she is still adamant she "cant" be in a relationship. That she needs time to get herself together (that sometimes she hates men, WTF?) She says she does not want to be with any other man but me. She is from a different country and maybe I am not understanding what she means by "relationship". Maybe she means not a serious relationship? When we talk about it we can never come to a conclusion because if she does not want a relationship why have sex , kiss, share intimate things with me and ask that I do not see other girls? She said that we moved too fast before... but we are now going at the same pace as before and she still says the same thing? Any insight you could give into this females mind would be great


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's using you to get off, and has no intentions of dating you. It sucks balls, but this has happened to me a hell of a lot of times with guys. You're sadly easy, and she's taking advantage of it, she wants the sex and all the things of a relationship, without the commitment, so if someone better comes along she can leave you.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You want my honest opinion? Her heart still belongs to her ex. I know he sounds like he was a piece of crap, But she still loves him.. When my boyfrriend and I broke up, I was kinda seein a guy, having sex kissing ect. He wanted to date me but I said I couldn't... Basically he was a rebound but I couldn't get over my ex...

    I hope that's not the case, but it may be.

    Best of luck!

  • She's a confused person. She doesn't know what she wants.

  • Ok she is playing hard to get or probably she is scared. Make her trust you. Don't try to hard. Try comforting her and make her open up to you! Be patient and if it still doesn't work then you have to tell her how you feel about this whole situation and about how you feel about her.

    XOXO the love doctor

  • You should be honest with her and explain to her how you feel and also what a relationship means to you so you can be on the same track. I had f***ed around with a guy for a few months but had not wanted to date him and used excuses to (something I am not proud of), but I don't think that is the case here. So I would explain everything to her but not in a brutally honest way, just an informative way :)


What Guys Said 3

  • Haha, you need to appreciate what you have, a F-BUDDY, many guys would kill to be in your position. But, if you really want to be in a relationship with her, you need to tell her to be honest and tell you exactly what's going on. It sounds like she is giving you the usual female BS excuses and she obviously still has feelings for this other guy. You need to tell her that's its either you or him and if she chooses him than she obviously is not worth your trouble. If you are still doing the same stuff you were before than not much has changed, she is just in denial and thinks that if it's not called a "relationship" than everything will be ok, but it won't. So you need to tell her "it's either my way or the highway"

  • Its easier said than done when you're an onlooker. I say try to take control of the situation. Sadly, I think there won't be anything more than "a moment's pleasure". The truth hurts.

  • Im having the same type of problem as you.. except my girl isn't from another country . I've been playin it safe and just keeping her as a F**k buddy , but its so hard to not be in a relationship with her , I don't know what to do...

    just tell her how you feel..