My boyfriend never thinks he does anything wrong so he never apologizes. what should I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend never thinks he does anything wrong so he never apologizes when he hurts me because to him "he says it as he sees it" so it's true and I need to know. It really bothers me. What should I do? I don't want to break up with him because that's my only issue. I love him and I don't want to let go unless I truly have to.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe this guy will grow up one day and realize that, just because you can think of something to say, that doesn't mean you should say it. You can try giving him a dose of his own medicine: "hey, I saw a couple of guys today and I thought to myself, 'I wish my boyfriend was that cute!'" or "hey, the next time you give me your take on things and you don't think about my feelings, I'll tell you what I really think about your anatomy!"

The potential problem here is that he may only get worse instead of realizing what he is doing. The alternatives are to wait for him to grow up (which may be years from now) or find a new boyfriend. Even though this is your only issue with him, it is an extremely large issue: he doesn't respect you.

[Rincewind]

get rid of him... he sounds so full of himself thinking he's always right. He shouldn't be hurting you anyway, regardless of whether he was right or not.

The fact that he can't see that he upsets you mans he doesn't care.

[Asker]

He knows it hurts me , we were talking about it today and like I said he said "he says it as he sees it"

[Rincewind]

yeah which means he has no respect for you. I would never say something that i knew was going to upset my GF. Not unless I had no choice.

there's a fine line between saying it as it is and just being a dick without caring about how your partner feels

[Asker]

Yeah that's true , and then he says that he never means to hurt you. But he told me he says the things he says on purpose? It makes no sense

[Rincewind]

"But he told me he says the things he says on purpose"

yeah, he has no respect for you, and he knows he has you right where he wants you. in love and too scared to walk away. You deserve better.

He's controlling you emotionally, and its a very fine line between emotional control and physical control. My sister was your age when she started being physically abused. it started with him telling her she was wrong and he was always right. In the end she believed it thought she deserved his beatings.

I'm not saying he will turn violent, but he really doesn't respect you. do you deserve that? I know its hard to walk away, but if he won't listen to you, then he leaves you no choice.

[Asker]

I don't know like with everything else he understands and respects me and takes care of me. It just seems with this understanding he's touchy. But I guess if I really have to leave I would

[Rincewind]

thanks for MHO. Keep us updated

[Antizzl]

Do nothing. He's perfect that's why you're with him remember. Don't try to change him into something you find acceptable. Then he's not him the guy you love. Then he is somebody you tried to make. Which will eventually blow up in your face. Sometimes two people no matter how much they "love" each other can't mesh. I say it how I see it. Most guys do.

[iAmNotSkilled1]

DUMP HIM ! U will spend the worst days of ur life with him i swear ! My Parents (especially my mom) never change their opinions , they think that they are god like. When they find out that they are wrong , they dont apologize. That is like living in hell ! So in conclusion , they never listen to anybody , they never change their opinions , they never apologize , THEY THINK THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS DAMN CORRECT OKAY?

[JackPershing]

Dump him. He is a narcissist. I was with a narcissist and they tend to run you over to get their own way and make you feel like you are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Make him sat near u and talk about it ;) i hope he is enough mature to understand this

[Britishdude]

Simplest answer is to just tell him

[Asker]

I told him I didn't like that and he said it's the way he is so I have to deal with it or leave because he's not going to change for anyone. I love the fact that he isn't going to change but it hurts me

[Britishdude]

That's a shame that he's like that he should at least apologise

[Asker]

So am I wrong for being mad at him for that? Because to me it's just rude. And I don't think he gets that.

[Britishdude]

No you're not wrong. It's perfectly understandable. But if that's his ideology then you can't change that. If in your shoes it would possibly in the kindest way ask for an apology

[Asker]

Okay , so what should I do.

[Britishdude]

Just ask for an apology that's all

[Asker]

And if he doesn't? But thank you

[Britishdude]

unfortunately then there's nothing you can do
just explain why you would like an apology and hopefully he understands

[Asker]

Thanks

[unforgiven90]

kick his ass immediately