Why did he just stop talking to me?---I don't understand.

Been dating this guy for about a month...things were going great. The last day he was here, but talked so much almost to the point where a relationship was going to possibly be picking up. He said he wanted to come back tuesday or wednesday, and I agreed to cook him dinner. So I went to confirm the day as I needed to prepare, and he said he had a cold but would call when he wanted to reschedule. So this was Monday. On Tuesday we texted for about 2 hours and things were still great. Wednesday, I had got tickets for a play and asked if he would be interested in going. He said he had to go out of town for the weekend as he was a business owner and had to be at a show (he has explained the shows to me before) so he couldn't go with me. So needless to say he confused the hell out of me, starting to cancel dates, and I told him he confused me sometimes. Anyway he did not respond to my text but later that night he sent me an email. It was just a forwarded one, but I thought that was his way of letting me know that he was thinking of me and attempting to communicate that way. Thursday I sent him a text just saying hi, hope you have a safe trip and hoped everything was ok with him. I have heard nothing back from him he has just stopped talking to me. I know this sounds silly, but after the way things ended at our last date, I believe there is something/ONE that is preventing him from talking to me. I don't understand what happened here. How long do I wait for this guy? I really adored him, and he has asked me a couple times what my feelings were for him. He never once told me his feelings for me. I don't understand. I really thought that after our last date, that it went so well that we were almost to the point of being a commitment as we were already exclusive in that the only ones we talk to, email is each other.

I soo want to ask him if he wants to come over this Tuesday or Wednesday and if I still don't get a response then move on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he is probably dating around. He probably did have a good time with you and was interested in you being interested in him...but, he probably had someone else he was more interested in. He most likely had someone that he really liked, but wasn't sure of her interest level in him. He probably had you as the Option 2, but when Option 1 came through, or he thought it did, he ignored you.

    Guys like that like to keep options open...they never want to feel like they have no prospects. It's like when you go out job hunting, you might apply for a bunch, but there is one or two you want most. If you thought choice A wasn't gonna work, you'd go out and try to feel good about choice B...but if on your way to a job interview at choice B, choice A called and told you that you had the job...you'd drop choice B like a hot potato. The difference between him and you, is that you would probably explain to choice B that you had found something else, instead of pulling a no show...

    However, some guys are cowards and they don't want to be up front because they are simply afraid of what your reaction will be...or, they are being purposefully deceitful because they want to keep you around as an option should choice A not work out. It's tough to hear that you are someone's plan B, but as long as you don't pine away taking it personally, you'll still come out on top.

    Don't try to tell him off, just realize you thought he was something he wasn't, and move on. Don't take it any more personally than you would if you picked a dress at the store you really like, then found there was a hole in it and had to take it back.