Why did he just stop talking to me?---I don't understand.

Been dating this guy for about a month...things were going great. The last day he was here, but talked so much almost to the point where a relationship was going to possibly be picking up. He said he wanted to come back tuesday or wednesday, and I agreed to cook him dinner. So I went to confirm the day as I needed to prepare, and he said he had a cold but would call when he wanted to reschedule. So this was Monday. On Tuesday we texted for about 2 hours and things were still great. Wednesday, I had got tickets for a play and asked if he would be interested in going. He said he had to go out of town for the weekend as he was a business owner and had to be at a show (he has explained the shows to me before) so he couldn't go with me. So needless to say he confused the hell out of me, starting to cancel dates, and I told him he confused me sometimes. Anyway he did not respond to my text but later that night he sent me an email. It was just a forwarded one, but I thought that was his way of letting me know that he was thinking of me and attempting to communicate that way. Thursday I sent him a text just saying hi, hope you have a safe trip and hoped everything was ok with him. I have heard nothing back from him he has just stopped talking to me. I know this sounds silly, but after the way things ended at our last date, I believe there is something/ONE that is preventing him from talking to me. I don't understand what happened here. How long do I wait for this guy? I really adored him, and he has asked me a couple times what my feelings were for him. He never once told me his feelings for me. I don't understand. I really thought that after our last date, that it went so well that we were almost to the point of being a commitment as we were already exclusive in that the only ones we talk to, email is each other.

I soo want to ask him if he wants to come over this Tuesday or Wednesday and if I still don't get a response then move on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he is probably dating around. He probably did have a good time with you and was interested in you being interested in him...but, he probably had someone else he was more interested in. He most likely had someone that he really liked, but wasn't sure of her interest level in him. He probably had you as the Option 2, but when Option 1 came through, or he thought it did, he ignored you.

    Guys like that like to keep options open...they never want to feel like they have no prospects. It's like when you go out job hunting, you might apply for a bunch, but there is one or two you want most. If you thought choice A wasn't gonna work, you'd go out and try to feel good about choice B...but if on your way to a job interview at choice B, choice A called and told you that you had the job...you'd drop choice B like a hot potato. The difference between him and you, is that you would probably explain to choice B that you had found something else, instead of pulling a no show...

    However, some guys are cowards and they don't want to be up front because they are simply afraid of what your reaction will be...or, they are being purposefully deceitful because they want to keep you around as an option should choice A not work out. It's tough to hear that you are someone's plan B, but as long as you don't pine away taking it personally, you'll still come out on top.

    Don't try to tell him off, just realize you thought he was something he wasn't, and move on. Don't take it any more personally than you would if you picked a dress at the store you really like, then found there was a hole in it and had to take it back.


What Guys Said 5

  • Don't know your state of mind now, but If he hasn't started the contact with you by now...

    You & I know its time to let it go...

    I really hate how immature people can be at times...

    All it takes is a few simple words of how you feel... That way the person can go on with their lives...

    Good luck in the Future...


    A Loving Black Man

  • Don't wait. He's either scared or he's got his hands full with something else. Maybe call him to find out which, but you have to start seeing other guys.

  • just like everyone said, if he wants you he will come around trust me. sounds like he's playing around and not for real!

  • There are 2 possibilities:

    + He is really busy or something really does prevent him to contact you

    - He just plays you around

    And since you mention that your age is around 30-35, guys at these age should know how to handle women and their feelings.

    At this rate, if he really cares about you, he should at least give a call to you, chat to you although he's busy.

    If it's always you who make a call to him, then unfortunately, I don't see any hope in this relationship.

    Yours sincerely,


    • I can't see being busy as an excuse not to send a text, as much as when men tell you "oh I fell asleep". We are in an era where everyone keeps the phone stuck to their pants, sending a text can take less than 10 secs.

  • Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.


What Girls Said 11

  • Always know that when someone is interested in another, they will always make time for them. I agree with your update, follow through

  • I think you are coming on maybe a little too "aggressive" all of a sudden. What I mean is that you are initiating TOO many things and calling him way too much. Don't call or text him just to say HI all the time. Let him call YOU. My advice would be to back off for a week and don't have any contact with him at all unless HE initiates it. Itll make hiim wonder why you haven't been calling him and Ill bet his curiosity will be aroused for you again. The best of luck to you!.

    • I went for a couple of dates with this guy who I like and he liked me too, but after a week he told me that my way was too intense for him. Maybe your guy feels the same way, let him breath and if he wants you he'll come back to you.

  • well sometimes ignoreing someone can make them want you a little more!maybe be a little busy and I know its so very hard to ignore them but its human nature to want to be apart of someone who is always busy!maybe if he sees that you moved on and don't have time for him he will cave in. I myself experienced this!but be foward when you talk face to face, don't jump around men tone out woman that do that, talk calmly tell him what you want!maybe he is just busy. see how much youve tryed to reach him and he is not always there!guys can't express there feeling like we do!maybe he doesn't want a commitment yet give it time give him space and he will come around if not move on there's always someone that wants something you want!

  • I wouldn't sit around and wait for him. Go on with your life and if he comes back, great. If not, don't worry about it. If you 2 are meant to be it will happen. He already knows how you feel and that your interested in taking the relationship to the next level, so the ball is in his court now.

    Good Luck

  • Guys are weird. If he liked you, he'd make the effort to contact you. Don't wait around for him, he obviously isn't worth your time if he's playing games like this. Maybe if you stop talking to him, he will realize that he truly did have feelings for you and come around eventually. Do not try and set things up with him anymore, he's already cancled on you twice. Wait for him to contact you!

  • dont ever wait for any one to long. it seemsd like they have total controll over you and your fellings. but tell him how you fell about him and how you fell about his actions some times. then ask him how he fells about you. and if he still acts the same really the only thing is to do is find some one else who you know will treat you right.

  • Hunny I am in the same boat! This guy and I grew up together, lost touch and reconnected through FB. We would talk hours everyday..He did in fact tell me how crazy he was for me numerous times. Then we talked one day all day long, and he said call him later. I did, he didn't answer. So I texted him, and he said friends stopped by and he would cal me later. Well that was tuesday and I haven't heard anything since! I don't get it, at all. I texted him one time, saying I ws confused and I would chase him, but nothing. So I totally get where your coming from It is so frustrating. I am so upset over this. We talked so deepy about so many things. it was just like old time. I am 26, I don't have time for this sh*t. If I were you, I wouldn't text him again. Make him think you don't care. As much as I want to call/text him. I am keeping myself busy, So I dont.

  • I have had men do this to me before and the best thing to do is move on if he likes you he'll get a hold of you but if you keep asking him it will just make you feel worse.Look at it this way if he doesn't call you back he's probably doing you a favor because obviously he must have some baggage.

  • Don't wait for him, don't contact him anymore. If he wants to see you, let him be the first to come to you for a change

  • Dont wait around for him, go out and have your fun and once he sees your doing that he will come back. he expects you to wait around but you cant. go out and forget about him and if he comes back he comes back.. but if he does don't go back to him that easily. play hard to get and make him work for it! goodluck!