I'm a good guy with a big heart. Why do girls end up with the guys with NO heart?

[Anonymous]

I don't think I come on too strong at all... I'm not afraid to go after what I REALLY want and I'll take chances. Instead I get rejected or the girl ends up not liking me at all... I don't get how a nice person can wind up not ever being cared for at all... meanwhile the girl ends up with a guy that parties way too much, drugs, whatever or just a heartless idiot.

I have so much to give and I'm a well-rounded guy with a lot of talents and interests. Older women often show me more positive attention and compliment me and appreciate me as a person. I even get quite a bit of compliments on my looks. I don't understand.

Nobody appreciates me for being a mature, down to earth, nice guy... I'm sensitive but not weak at all. I've been told that I have a very high self-esteem and a defined sense of self and I don't try to conform to the ways of my peers.

I have such a strong heart, why are girls not even remotely interested in me at my age?

[bobair]

You're making a classic mistake.. you're linking "being nice" to "lack of success with women."

These two things are not related.

If your car wasn't working, would you assume it's a problem with the seat belts? I hope not. If you're car isn't working the first thing you should check is the "gas."

So when ever I hear about a guy struggling with women (like me, till I got a handle on it) I assume it's got something to do with ATTRACTION or RAPPORT. Almost always it's attraction, especially if you're labeling yourself a "nice guy with a big heart."

Attraction, which is something most guys never learn growing up, is about pushing a woman's natural "FEELINGS" buttons.

If you want a woman to FEEL attraction, then you need to build tension in her body. Sounds strange right? Read this: link

Attraction IS tension. If you're boring, predictable or just simply trying to win her affection by BEING nice, then you're doing the wrong things.

BEING nice is fine, especially when you're already in a relationship with her, but at first it's not going to get the job done.

Google terms like "flirting," "banter with women," and "story telling pickup" and you'll discover there are huge online resources dedicated to seducing a woman's heart (her feelings.)

Just know this: Attraction isn't about how you look, or what you're saying... it's about who you're BEING.

If you're BEING mysterious, fun, challenging, flirty, honest, and sincere then you'll be automatically talking a woman's language.

You should also be as honest with yourself as possible... from my experience when men think they're BEING "nice" they're really being "needy."

It's like they think that being nice should buy them attention and affection - kinda like a transaction. This isn't the case.

So take a second to REALLY determine if this is what you're doing. Kissing ass to get her approval just doesn't work. That's simply not how attraction works.

Ultimately if you want her to FEEL attraction, then you need to focus on your "I'm a powerful man who's on his own purpose" attitude. This invites women to follow you much better than just being nice. A man who's on his purpose tends to be more happy, tends to be hard to distract from his focus, and tends to have experiences, stories, and emotions worth sharing.

Hope this helps a little bit...

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[wanacot]

Because you're boring for your age. Older women like you because they've already experienced the party guy and had their fun, but come to realize ultimately they want a guy like you to settle down with. Girls your age (18-24) like the fun and adventure the party guy introduces them to, even if they do end up getting hurt.

Of course I'm generalizing here and there are girls your age that are looking for a guy like you. But I suppose the question is what kind of girl are you looking for? Are you looking for the fun, outgoing party type of girl? Cause if you are that's the problem right there.

[Asker]

Well... sorta. Like I'm looking for a fun girl but not too much of a party-type. I typically find myself bored a lot of the time and I want someone to bring a little fun in my life, but that still has long-term potential.

[wanacot]

Instead of chasing the obviously "fun" girls try looking at the quieter girls. Yeah, they may not seem as fun and exciting on the outside but often once you get to know them they can be just as fun or even more so.

[Asker]

I wish I could've gotten that through the girl I liked's head... :/ I've never wanted a girl so bad in my life... :(

[Gregs]

The woman shouldnt have to bring fun into the guys life, the guy is suppose to have fun on his own.

[Asker]

It's not that I'm not fun tho... girls just have an incredibly dumb idea of fun apparently. I'm by no means a guy to bring excessive drama to a girl's life or one to stoop to drugs to be fixed or to drink underage. I respect my autorities... I'm a trustworthy guy, wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone... I can give a girl something that her bad boy bfs could have never gave her.

[wanacot]

Okay you're not getting it. That type of girl is looking for that type of fun. You may think it's dumb, and it may very well be dumb, but that's what they want. They want the party lifestyle, the drugs and alcohol, etc. You can't and won't change them. Only they can change themselves and that usually happens once they get the party lifestyle phase out of their system.

[bobair]

Greg and wanacot are both right... to be an ATTRACTIVE man you need to BE fun. If you're expecting her to bring you the fun then you're an emotional vampire who women will avoid.

The best thing you can do is find a serious life passion and pursuit it. This will introduce you to women who automatically share these same passions, and who will be a hundred times more suitable to your wants and needs.

Don't turn bitter just yet, you're way too young!

[redwingz]

To tell you the truth, most party girls suck anyway. Once you get to know them they have no depth or beauty to their personalities at all and you get bored with them easily. At least I do.