Could an older man ever take a woman who is 15-20 years younger than he is, seriously as a romantic partner?

[Anonymous]

I am currently 20 years old. I have always been attracted to men in their late 30's, 40's, even 50's ever since I was 10 years old. And no, I'm not exaggerating about how old I was when I really started to develop a strong physical attraction towards older men which included teachers, actors, musicians, etc... I was never into guys my own age. As the years went by, I became more and more emotionally interested in older men, and turned off by a lot of men in my age group due to their lack of maturity, inability to hold on to an intellectual and stimulating conversation, and their frugality. Although, financial stability is not what I am really after.
I'm just worried that I'll never find love because most older men would only commit to women in their age range or older. I have tried online dating sites and it was a disaster as I was only messaged by guys I was not attracted to and who only wanted casual sex.
I have noticed that some celebrities such as Celine Dion and Mary-Kate Olsen were able to hold on to serious relationships with men who are decades older than they are, however celebrities live in a different world from mine. Their exposure and the society they live in is completely different from mine as they are recognized by millions of people and it's a lot easier for them to find what they are looking for, through their resources and connections.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

[MrOracle]

Yes, it's definitely possible - however it requires that YOU also take the relationship seriously. You can still be fun and immature about other things, but you have to take the relationship seriously. If he detects ANY of that "I'm still young, and I can always find someone else" vibe from you, he'll never take you seriously again.

You also have to accept that you'll be in different places in your life, and that you'll both have to make some sacrifices. It absolutely can be done, and lots of it can be great, but like any relationship, there will be some tough times and some miscommunications and misunderstandings. It won't be perfect and it won't always be easy. He'll probably understand that more than you do, just due to his age/experience, but it will be something he has to work at as well as you do.

You also have to pick wisely. Take it slow at the beginning and spend a LOT of time discussing areas of long-term compatibility, and if you find big issues there, END IT and move on. No matter how attracted you are, you have no long-term future if you don't have a very high level of compatibility - and your age is already potentially working against that, making it even more important that other parts are solid. Find that out BEFORE you commit to anything.

[Almostoverit]

I've dated women 15 or more years younger than me (twice). It didn't work out either time. One was still in college and had her entire life/career/future ahead of her, so we were in completely different places. The other felt pressure from friends/family about the age difference and caved in after claiming she was in love with me (within a month) and broke it off a couple weeks later. Women and men both in their 20's are still figuring things out while men/women in their 30's and 40's have years of experience (and the baggage that sometimes comes with it) behind them. While a younger woman sounds appealing (youth and often the beauty and vigor that come with it), most older men realize that is about as far as it can go.

[Asker]

I'm just curious, why did being in different life phases affect your relationship?

[Almostoverit]

For the one in college, she would be going to school in another state while I would be thinking about my next vacation scuba diving somewhere. Also, I am still thinking about having kids. I don't want to be 70 years old with my kids just about to graduate college so if it's going to happen, it needs to be sooner rather than later. Say she has kids in the next couple years. She'll be fresh into her field and now with children to take care of. Career would take a back seat, because honestly in the area I live, my income is going to be the primary focus due to cost of living. Also, by the time I am thinking retirement years (what will I be doing in my 60's and 70's) she could be potentially in her career prime. These things could change depending on the partners. so it's not necessarily the same across the board, but these are just a couple potential issues down the road in a relationship between two people that are that far apart in age.

[Goforit1010]

I once dated a 19 year old girl when I was 37. I was recently divorced, did not want to have any more kids and was just interested in dating again at that point. She certainly was pretty enough! Dang, that girl was gorgeous! But the more I considered the situation, the more I realized I would be holding her back. I didn't want kids (she probably would). I was tired of travelling (that's all I did for my job), she'd want to go everywhere!

I definitely liked her as a person too! She was VERY smart, starting college, had a kind caring personality. But over all, I decided that one date, while a lot of fun, it just wasn't going to work out between her and i. That was long before sex was ever thought about, let alone done!

[1Analyst]

Love has No age. Nobody says to his/her heart "okay, you must love ONLY from 18-26 years of age". The heart does NOT work like that. It IS possible to find love at any age plus you are legally allowed to have sex so I don't see why you should not pursue a relationship with someone you are attracted to. Just make sure to hide your age when dating until you get closer as societal oppression may make it uneasy for the guy.

[Asker]

I could probably see different results by lying about my age...

[Almostoverit]

15-20 years difference. You can't really lie about that. Older women and men have the experience of time to recognize the difference between say a 20 year old and a 30 year old. "Love has no age" is pretty naive (I mean no offense) and that is exactly the naivety of youth that shows your real age group. If you want to date older men, then be open and honest about it and think about why exactly you are attracted to them. I'm not saying it's wrong or right, but try to understand the reasoning behind it and that you will have more years of experience that may change your point of view. Is it possible someone 30-40 years old attracts you because of their confidence? Probably likely. So it's possible that is the age of men that attract you. But will that stay constant when he is in his 60s-70s and you are in your 40-50s? About lying... You say you want to be taken seriously in a relationship with an older man. No man would take you seriously if you open up with that kind of deceit.

[1Analyst]

Hold on a moment ! I never said ANYTHING about lying. If he asks for your age just tell him your 'legal' and don't mention any specific age.

[zShikiz]

Possible? Yes, but it will be much more of a challenge than anything. Older men are usually committed to young women for the sex. It's very rare to find someone older like that who actually loves you for you and not for the sex you give. Also, a LOT of them cheat. I do wish you the best of luck, but to answer your question, it's not wrong and love has no age limit cap. You're free to fall for whoever you want.

[truthbeknown]

Yes, and no. I could certainly, but the main issue is having kids. I am 40 and I am not starting a family at this age. I want to retire in about 15-20 years, not be putting a kid through college. I don't think a lot of guys my age or older would want to start a family either, so I think that would be a big problem.

[Asker]

I'm honestly not interested in starting a family myself. I don't know how to bring that point across without making others think that I am not relationship material.

[truthbeknown]

Yes, I know what you mean. Most guys would automatically assume. I would say to start talking to them just like any other guy you are interested in. After a while, things like what you want in life starts to come up on the conversations and you can mention how you aren't interested in having kids. This may be perfect too because many older guys have had vasectomies and can't impregnate you anyways. (less worries, more fun!)

[Daddyfox]

I had a younger female on my online friend list. At a time both of us were single she said she was interested in me. I am 18 years older than her. I was afraid to get into a relationship with someone that much younger, but she was persistent. We have been with each other for seven years and age is not even a thought. I see her as an equal and respect her completely. She is my other half

[matheus_mb]

I think it's possible, but it'll be more difficult to find. If you give up though, you won't find what you want at all.

[notwoke]

Yes, this would be like winning the lottery for a man my age

[Naughtyboy71]

It happen ever day

[Jared____]

I think so yes

[Yemon]

Yes he could