How do I convince the guy I like that age doesn't matter?

[tayjkl]

how do I convince the guy I like (and who likes me back) that the age difference of 17 (my age in 3 weeks) and 20 isn't bad enough to stop us from dating? I'm fine with the age difference because I'm fairly mature, and the sexual consent age where we live is 16. Although apart from the fact that he's never been in a proper relationship before, he believes that I'm too young for him! What do I do?

[epiper888]

I honestly think he may your coming on a bit as needy , if he's been talking to you I doubt the age difference is that big of a deal he's just putting out something to deflect you, I'd give him some space and talk to him in 5-6 days... but if he really isn't comfortable with it then that's just how he feels

[tayjkl]

I tried giving him space and not talking but he continues to text me constantly?

[epiper888]

Then he likes you.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

If he truly feels that way, I don't know if there's anything you can say which will convince him. He'll have to come to that decision himself.

[tayjkl]

I haven't tried convincing him or anything because that's exactly what I figured - that I wouldn't be able to change his mind. but do you think there's anything I could do to just make him think about it?

[VirginiaBeachBum]

Yeah, move on to someone else. If he thinks you're too young to have a relationship with him and he sees you with someone else, it may change his mind (hopefully not in a jealous way) about your ability to have a relationship. If your new relationship works out then it won't matter. If it doesn't then you really haven't lost anything. You say he's never been in a proper relationship, so maybe it's a confidence issue. And what constitutes a "proper" relationship to you? And I take it you have been in one.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

Thanks for MHO!

[tayjkl]

no worries you helped so much! and I'm not sure how I'd explain a "proper relationship". for him he's never labelled anyone as his girlfriend, although he's had flings. When I've asked him about why he's never had a relationship at the age of 20 he's said that he's just scared to be with one person for a long period of time.

[Cmasterson]

Honestly you shouldn't have to convince him, if he's going to want to date you then he will, however it can really mentally screw someone up and they can't get over the fact that you're not even in the same decade as them. Just wait I suppose

[CrazynKinky]

You go for guys your age. Or wait then try him again when your older because he's a decent guy not going for a child. Age doesn't matter when you get into your 20s but right now if you have sex it's statutory rape

[tayjkl]

where I live, it would be legal.

[CrazynKinky]

No decent 20 year old wants to be with a teenager unless you were together when you were both in highschool. You can't convince him it's his choice

[Goldie757]

Age does matter for a lot of people. Most guys that age do not want to be seen with school girls.

[tayjkl]

that makes sense although he will c me all the time after I finish school and hang out with me in public places

[CoolSky01]

thats not even an age difference... 3 years is nothing

[tayjkl]

yes thankyou!

[CountVronsky]

Tell him that he'll miss a great opportunity of meeting someone especial. After that, leave him alone and wait :P

[tayjkl]

I've tried doing that kinda thing before and not talk to him and it seemed to bother him heaps because I replied with short responses etc

[CountVronsky]

Oh, no, but I don't mean avoiding talking to him. Just don't insist on the subject, but still treat him like a friend.

[tayjkl]

yeah that's a good idea! although what do I do when he brings it up because he seems to want to talk about how hard it is for him with our age difference all the time.

[ThisAndThat]

Myself if I liked a girl and she liked me back I wouldn't let age stand in the way. However huge exceptions should be applied in cases where someone is under age.

[Alphamutt]

You are too young for him! And furthermore a guy at twenty wants to be single

[Anonymous]

You are confused. Age does matter. There shouldn't be an age gap larger than 5 years. Otherwise there will be problems.

[tayjkl]

it's 3 years?

[VirginiaBeachBum]

"There shouldn't be an age gap larger than 5 years. Otherwise there will be problems."

That's largely just nonsense. As people get older, that age difference won't be much of a difference at all.

[Opinion Owner]

My bad, i didn't read it correctly. Sorry.

[tayjkl]

that's fine. do you still think it's an issue?

[Opinion Owner]

No, its not an issue.

[CountVronsky]

@VirginiaBeachBum He's under 18. What would he know?

[Opinion Owner]

What wouldn't i know?