What does it mean to have 'feelings' for someone?

I had sex with an older woman (49yr old - a sexy woman at that!) and later on she said she 'had feelings for me'.

What exactly does she mean by that term?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It means two things:

    1. She likes you

    2. She's trying to also show you how mature she is (which she's motivated to try and show you, to try and get you to start to like her too)

    Most younger-guy older-woman relationships usually start off with the guy looking to find love, and the woman only looking for a fun sex partner who has more endurance that her husband or men her age.

    I don't want to rush to conclusions, but just from the language you're using to describe her and the whole experience, it seems like this is the opposite situation. She is definitely OPEN to MORE than JUST sex ONLY. It doesn't mean she's ACTIVELY LOOKING or TRYING TO FORCE YOU OR PUSH YOU into it. But it DOES mean that she's trying to communicate to you, that:

    "the sexual chemistry between us is great. I like your body, your sexuality, and the person you are. It's not like I set up boundaries with sex between us, and sort of implied, that "UNLESS you get into a relationship with me, then we're not going to have sex." I didn't do that. So you know I'm not manipulative, or selfish. I'm showing you that a relationship with ME, isn't going to be a relationship that's all about ME and what "I" want. I'm showing you that I'm emotionally mature, and a rational woman that has control over her emotions, as opposed to having her emotions have control over her."

    "But I'm 49. I've had plenty of experience in trying to force or make a relationship happen. It's stupid, because if it's not what the other person really wants, then no degree of emotional or sexual blackmail is going to change that. So my proposition to you is.. That I really do enjoy the sex we have together. And, I also enjoy the time we spend together. I'm just letting you know that, I'm not one of those women who JUST want sex and nothing more. I'm doing this so you can feel safe. So you don't feel that if you want something more and you tell me, that I'm going to look down on you, feel less attracted & interested in you, and find an excuse to end things and leave."

    "I'm simply "open" the more things. I'm not just looking for an only-emotional, only-financial, only-sexual relationship with you. I like you enough, that I want the whole package. But only if that's what you want too. If it's not, it's cool. Just tell me! Tell me, so I don't get more hurt as time goes on. I've showed you how mature I am, believe me, I can handle it now. In fact, I can handle it much better now, than much later on. So please just let me know how you feel, or even if you're not sure how you feel. I'm not playing with you. I'm being honest with me. It's not much to ask that you give me that same level of respect."

    "But if you also like me, tell me. I won't think any less of you for it. And it's not like after telling me we'll jump strait to the alter; or even there at all. I'm looking for complete companionship more than anything else, and I like you enough to want that with you. If you're open to that, please let me know."

    It means that

    • This is a woman that's being nothing but mature & completely honest with you.

      You'd be a really big jerk, and be giving a really bad reputation to men if you do anything but give her the same level of respect she's shown you.

    • Awesome as usual