Does it mean you don't love someone romantically if your heart doesn't always skip a beat around them?

[Anonymous]

Asking for a friend... My friend told me her heart doesn't always skip a beat when she sees her boyfriend. She knows she probably loves him, but is constantly questioning her feelings because her heart doesn't always skip a beat around him. However, her boyfriend was the ONLY guy that kissed her that ACTUALLY got her to BLUSH AND SMILE, SHOWING ALL HER TEETH when he kissed her. Also, she told me she finds him attractive and he's a good kisser.

[AmandaYVR]

No, doesn't mean she doesn't love him.

That skipping a beat is a hormonal reaction to the presence of the other, or something specific they said or did.

But it happens much, much more frequently in the early stages of a relationship (or before getting into a relationship with them) because the novelty is so powerful then.

Love changes from dopamine etc to oxytocin. The latter is more calming, bonding. It's called the 'bonding hormone'. Long-term partners experience this one, as well as mothers and their newborn babies. (And men as well, but to a bit lesser degree than new moms, because bonding is essential for the survival of the baby.)

Tell your friend that it doesn't mean something's missing. And we are also highly influenced by everything that goes on in our life, during the day, etc., so she could be distracted or thinking about something else.

If it persisted, however, that she was never happy to see him after absences, then there could be a lack of feelings on her part.

[BarryLiverstone]

Do you trust your friend?