My boyfriend says he needs space, what do I do?

we have been dating for 6 months and its been up and down we are really close to each other and both love each other very much or at least i thought. just yesterday he tells me that he is feeling weak and completely out of character because he is doing things for me that he normally doesn't do for... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I think that this is actually nothing for you to worry about. I think your guy really does love you, but that he is just feeling out of control of his life right now. You said that he said he is doing things for you that he doesn't normally do for girls & that it's making him feel weak. When a guy says that, it means that he feels like he is no longer in control of his life but that he is doing things that are sapping his strength in order to make you feel loved or to let you know that he loves you. Also, the fact that he needs space is just his trying to regain control of his life and find his "center" again, where he feels like himself again. Guys who say this mean that "love" is making them do things they wouldn't normally do. What this guy is also saying is that he is doing things for you that are draining him emotionally, and he needs to take time and gain back his strength. My personal advice is that you should not take what he has said the wrong way. He definitely loves you, but he does need space to regain his strength and find out who he is in this relationship with you. If you allow him to have his space, he will be able to find what he needs to find about himself and will be able to come back into the relationship stronger than before, but he may just need to cut out doing certain things that drain him emotionally. You should not take this personally. Just look for other things that he may want to do for you instead, which do not drain him. Also, I would be careful to make sure that you are not wanting him to do things for you that drain him in order for you to feel secure or good about yourself. I realize that his pulling away may hurt you right now, but I think that you need to hear what he is saying and realize that he also needs to do things that help him at this time too. Also, if a guy tells you that he needs space, it is not always because he wants to close you off. Many times, this is the way that guys deal with issues. They take time off by themselves to think about things that are going on in their lives. If you just give him the space he needs and not allow yourself to feel insecure, I'm sure you will find that he really does love you and wants to be with you. However, he may need space again in the future in order to keep himself "centered" and to process stuff. Don't take this personally. Be mature about it and he will appreciate your unselfishness in wanting him to be able to find himself and process things.

    • I really like your answer.

    • Thanks! :)