My boyfriend says he needs space, what do I do?

we have been dating for 6 months and its been up and down we are really close to each other and both love each other very much or at least i thought. just yesterday he tells me that he is feeling weak and completely out of character because he is doing things for me that he normally doesn't do for girls. first he broke up with me then he said he needs some space. what should i do ? i know we have been through tough times in such a short period but i love him and he says he loves me so why is he trying to close him self off from me? i fear that if we do get back together he wont be the same towards me. like he will not call me and not show me that he cares about me because he doesn't want to seem weak how can i change that? how can i give him his space but not allow him to forget about me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I think that this is actually nothing for you to worry about. I think your guy really does love you, but that he is just feeling out of control of his life right now. You said that he said he is doing things for you that he doesn't normally do for girls & that it's making him feel weak. When a guy says that, it means that he feels like he is no longer in control of his life but that he is doing things that are sapping his strength in order to make you feel loved or to let you know that he loves you. Also, the fact that he needs space is just his trying to regain control of his life and find his "center" again, where he feels like himself again. Guys who say this mean that "love" is making them do things they wouldn't normally do. What this guy is also saying is that he is doing things for you that are draining him emotionally, and he needs to take time and gain back his strength. My personal advice is that you should not take what he has said the wrong way. He definitely loves you, but he does need space to regain his strength and find out who he is in this relationship with you. If you allow him to have his space, he will be able to find what he needs to find about himself and will be able to come back into the relationship stronger than before, but he may just need to cut out doing certain things that drain him emotionally. You should not take this personally. Just look for other things that he may want to do for you instead, which do not drain him. Also, I would be careful to make sure that you are not wanting him to do things for you that drain him in order for you to feel secure or good about yourself. I realize that his pulling away may hurt you right now, but I think that you need to hear what he is saying and realize that he also needs to do things that help him at this time too. Also, if a guy tells you that he needs space, it is not always because he wants to close you off. Many times, this is the way that guys deal with issues. They take time off by themselves to think about things that are going on in their lives. If you just give him the space he needs and not allow yourself to feel insecure, I'm sure you will find that he really does love you and wants to be with you. However, he may need space again in the future in order to keep himself "centered" and to process stuff. Don't take this personally. Be mature about it and he will appreciate your unselfishness in wanting him to be able to find himself and process things.


What Guys Said 4

  • Maybe you should start thinking about stuff he wants that you wouldn't normally do for guys. Love is a give-take situation. Both people have to support the other and care for them like no one else will.

  • Simple push him away hard if he loves you he will fight for you if not you get it over and done with. In a rocky relationship this is importent. Just tell him somthing like.

    I thought you loved me I put myself out there for you and now you say don't want me neer you and that hurts. I don't know if I want to talk to you anymore don't talk to me for a few days I need time to decide if you I am wasting my time with you.

    It will piss him off so you will have to hang up and you should not answer the phone when he calls you back and you need to ignore his calls for a few days and make him either come to you in person or stew for a bit. Trust me if he loves you he will chase after you if he doesn't than it's a doomed relationship anyway love always has risks. If you put it to him like that you switch it from you maybe not being worthy of him to him having to proove himself and his love to you and trust me he won't be talking about a break he may be pissed but in the end he will be fighting for you instead of against you.

  • maybe he's already start that process , though you can give him last chance , let him be alone for a while and see what will happen , but keep trying to track him by friends . because maybe he find someone else . good luck


What Girls Said 1