Why does my boyfriend never want to go out in public with me?

My boyfriend is a Hispanic male and I'm African American; he claims my race doesn't bother him but he never kisses me in public or ever wants to just hang out. we always hang out and his place, and if we run into each other outside he just treats me like a friend not even like one of his good friends. another concern is why do he choose his friends over me. I haven't seen him in two weeks and he asked me to come over but then later on he says he won't be at home he's going to hang out with his friends, and another time I came over after we had sex he asked me when was I going to leave because his friends wanted to go somewhere and the last time I went there which was two weeks ago he asked me to come over but then he went out with his friends and stayed gone for two hours and then he just wanted to have sex and I asked him if he wanted to talk for a little while before we had sex he got mad at me I'm starting to think the only thing he good for is sex and gets really annoyed when I ask him anything although he claims he loves me I'm not seeing it


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Like most of the others I think that he is mostly just using you for sexual gratification. However unlike most of the others I do think your race has something to do with this.

    Somehow I don't think he would quite as willing to disrespect a woman of his own race the same way.

    The same thing happens to black men. You see one stereotype about us black folks is that we are particularly good for sex, very sensual or well endowed. I have noticed that women of other races will be willing to have sex with me secretly but never ever form a real lasting relationship.

    I have even seen message boards where women of certain races talk about wanting to have a child by a black man, but not keep the black man around. Basically thinking that it would be a pretty combination.

    It is one of the heart rending ironies of being black in America. At least when it was the ol massa (or mistress) they would keep us around to do the laundry or the gardening.

    Like me you have tried other races. Like me you may just have to conclude that only another black person is likely to truly love and respect one of us.

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    • I agree with you to a point. I don't agree with the last line because I know a couple interracial couple that truly love and respect each other. I do think that you are right about the race thing because it happens all the time. People don't know how they will be perceived and so they are timid to venture out.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Perhaps he has an aversion to PDA (public displays of affections)... I don't like PDA and once threw one of my ex's away from me for attempting to kiss me in public. Not that I am not attracted, but just don't like public displays... I am the type of person that says to people kissing in public, "Get a room!"

    As for the rest, you must understand one thing, not all guys want to hang around with their girlfriends all the time. Perhaps you are beeing too needy and clingy? But if you are not, the problem may be as deep as you presume.

    If you do not like the situation, just chalk it up as a loss and find someone that can do what you want...

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  • Sadly. You already know what you need to know. If you want to keep him around for the sex, fine but he isn't going to provide much else.

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  • Unless your one of a very few girls he's ever dated and isn't sure how to act around girls I would say just dump him and find someone who knows how to treat you right. Cause really if its just something like he's just a shy person or something like that, clearly you want something a person like that can't deliver..

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  • You mate is ashamed of you.

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  • Yeah at first I thought well mayeb this guy just likes to keep stuff like that private and is uncomfortable with other people around but sounds like he's just using you if he never wants to just be with you to talk or hang out or anything but sex

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What Girls Said 28

  • He is not treating you the way someone who truly loves and wants you would. It doesn't matter why he is doing it, only that he is doing it. I don't even know that it is race, just sounds like he is booty calling you. Kick him to the curb. Good luck!

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  • I don't think his worth it. It seems his using you for sex! That's not right! Either you tell him straight about what's bothering you or you go out there and find someone new that will treat you how you wanted to be treated! You can do better then that! Hoped this helped :)

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  • Sounds like he is just using you for sex...and he is just...using you. It doesn't sound as though he is proud to have you as his girlfriend either. He's running over you like a doormat because you haven't put your foot down.:( If I were you I would end it.It sounds like an awful relationship...in fact it doesn't even sound like a relationship. End it. He sounds like a complete douche.

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  • he could just be shy and not very into PDA, but know that for every relationship to work, there needs to be communication, talk to him and let him know this is bothering you. if he really loves you he'll let you know what's going on. let him know you're uncomfortable and that you feel like he may be embarassed about you and that you think he should be acting more like a boyfriend. talk to him and find out what's going on.

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  • You should be with a man who loves you and from what you say, he doesn't seem to. Honestly, it sounds like he's only using you and you should not accept that. Talk to him about it. Ask him why he does it. If he does not treat you how you deserve, I say move on and never look back. There are plenty of nice men in this world, so why waste you time with one who will make you suffer?

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