How long does it take for someone to apologize?

[Anonymous]

It's been 3 and a half months since we broke up. Quick summary: He did it out of the blue and totally blindsided me. Through tears, he told me on the phone that long distance was making him miserable and he couldn't do it anymore. There was a follow up Facebook message telling me he resented our relationship because of the long distance. A follow up phone call (by me) later on he said he "didn't love me anymore and felt guilty for leading me on." This phone call was less than 5 minutes. He was abrupt and short with me. Pulled out every single cliché break up line possible. (You deserve better, It's not you it's me, I care for you a lot, I really want to be your friend) In both the phone call and the message he told me he would hate losing contact with me because he thinks I am awesome. We have been out of contact since.

My question is: how long will it take for him to realize that he completely disrespected me with the break-up and apologize? Especially when he explicitly said I did nothing wrong and he didn't want to hurt me (which had the complete opposite effect actually) Honestly, I can not see friendship until I get a heartfelt apology. At this point I don't even want to be his friend if he treats them like this, but for some reason I am conflicted and really want closure.

Has anyone else been in this situation? This conflicted and confused?

[Anonymous]

well it sounds like the l/d relationship was just too much for him and that's understandable. and his venting was his way of dealing with it. it wasn't very nice of him and I believe he knows he wasn't very nice at all. and that in turn is going to hold him back even further. feeling like his l/d relationship didn't work and then his expressing his resentment about it all I say just leave it. focus on taking care of yourself. its normal to miss someone who was apart of your life. I'm sure he does too. he's dealing with it by expressing his resentment and you're dealing with it in your own way. if he can handle remaining friends with you then he'll make that move when and if he's ready. just be sure you know what you can and cannot handle including remaining friends with him or not. take care.

[goflipaburger]

I don't know what to tell you aside from this: don't expect one. He gave you his reasons (bad ones, but reasons lol) and he did what he did. Unfortunately, if its been this long you should stop counting on one.

if he comes looking for a friendship, you can be honest and tell him you wouldn't be friends with someone who doesn't apologize when they should.

to be completely and totally honest, odds are that him apologizing for doing this out of the blue won't give you closure. closure isn't something people can give you, its something you need to give yourself.

[Anonymous]

You want him to apologize for breaking up with you? Is this what you think people should do when a relationship ends?

[Opinion Owner]

This apology not coming. just give up on this guy and move onto someone else

[Asker]

Nah, not for breaking up with me. Just for how he treated me. I am a really nice person, I don't understand how people can be so cruel and callous towards someone. Blows my mind, that's all

[Habakkuk]

considering how long it's been, he might never apologize. Or contact you. But you never know.