LONG DISTANCE - should we continue if they're about to move further away?? ADVICE/ PERSONAL EXPERIENCE??

[Anonymous]

I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We both are "in love" and love/ respect each other and most aspects of the relationship work well. He's my first serious/ sexual relationship, I'm his second serious/ sexual relationship but his first was less emotionally involved - rather shallow and mostly about sex.

Right now we're about 4 hours apart when driving, for most of our time he was about one hour away when at school. There's a chance that he's going to be getting his first real job and it's going to be in a different part of the country and the driving time would increase to about 11+ hours.

As I said, I love and am "in love" with my boyfriend. However, I've known that he's not "the one" for me for a variety of reasons. We have different views on politics, family size/ rearing, settling down locations, career goals, life style vs. income, religion/ spirituality, etc. However, I believe the ideas that you can learn from every relationship and not every one is meant to be a lifetime - either friendship or romantic. I don't feel like we're "done" yet and I'm not afraid to keep this going if it lasts another 3 years or however long - if there's love, why end it? We do have things in common and have introduced new things to each other and started new interests together, but I know there's more things against us lasting than staying together in the long run. We work for now, and we have a healthy/ loving relationship, so that's good for now.

However, the distance has always frustrated me. I'm really scared the increase in distance will make us more disconnected. I doubt we'd be able to afford to visit each other as often - which is only once a month or less. I've never had a serious relationship that was close by, but I know that I long to be able to randomly meet up or cook dinner with each other - the "little things".

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND ADVICE to share about long distance relationships?!? Success stories? Warning signs? TIPS? Should I end it because I know he's not "the one" for me? Should we tough it out until it doesn't work? Should we reevaluate if/ when he moves? How long have some of your relationships lasted when they're completely long distance - never having lived close together and no plans to move for each other? PLEASE HELP! :(

[mrsknoitall]

Long distance is hard but if you really love this person, it doesn’t mean anything. My boyfriend lived 12 hours from me and I would jump on a bus/train every chance I got to just be with him because I love him and he’s worth the brutal rides. But you’re unsure about your future and that’s going to be your downfall. If honestly, you don’t see a future with this person there is no reason to pursue the relationship. But just because you have different beliefs in a lot of life changing events, doesn’t mean the relationship is over. It’s all about compromising. He gives a little, you give a little. At the end of the day, love is love and in today’s society it’s really hard to find someone that you can click with on all levels. If you feel in your heart, he’s worth it, just stick with it. It always works out.

[asha89]

Ok from what I understand - this is your first real relationship - but you are in your 30's? Look, life is so short to waste it on relationships that are not going anywhere. You said that you don't agree on the MAJOR things - like values, faith, future goals etc... those are the major things that make and break a relationship. And while yes it sucks to be alone, trust me when I say it's better to part ways for both your sakes and to be healthy - not in something that doesn't have a future.

[LoveableBreak]

Honestly... I wouldn’t end it. Don’t give up on the relationship if you really love him. One of you have to later on sacrifice for the other if this is truly deeply what you want. It is possible and it can work I believe in it. Sometimes love makes us do crazy things and if love takes over the situation and it’s meant to be, only time will tell.

[Anonymous]

just curious, yes its love, but why drag him deeper into you if you are just going to end up leaving him in the long run? THATS SO F***ED UP

[Asker]

But we're creating love as opposed to hate. Wouldn't you rather be happy in a healthy relationship than miserable and sending negative vibes out into the world?!?! I know so many people that are in bad relationships, whether short-term or planned to be in the long-run, and yet their relationships are not as healthy and happy as ours. What would you prefer?

[Asker]

I'm in a loving relationship and I'm learning about myself and how to treat someone else well. Do you go into every relationship hoping it'll be "the one"? Or do you have doubts even in the best situations?

[Opinion Owner]

if he's not the one, good or bad relationship I'm hitting the road because in the end when you leave him then he's going to be heart broken and he's going to be even broken more if he finds out you dragged him along just to be "happy" you could be friends and still have a good relationship

[kimster07]

Long distance is difficult, its a hit and miss from my experience it's tough but rewarding both parties will have to make scarifices in order for things to work. Mine happened back in 2009 and trust me she was far like another country far, it worked for a bit but towards the end she started doubting and you since then she's had 2 boyfriend and I've had 0 girlfriend lol but me and her are still friends we still talk, the most import thing to remember is making scarifices for one another, once you get the doubt feelings sometimes it ends, also remember some people want to be free and if they say what if it doesn't work it's really up to you to decide what you want, in my case had to let her go, didn't wanna be in the way of someone else's happiness

[Anonymous]

Here's a good read on LDR. Maybe this can offer you some insight on the matter. Copy and paste it into your browser since I can't send a link until i'm higher up.
h t t p s : / / humans. media/how-to-survive-a-ldr?_ga=2.30025466.478161030.1524353343-1212543215.1524353343