Should I clean my boyfriend's house even though we don't live together?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 7 months now. I stay at his house almost every night. He doesn't work at the moment, and I have a full time job. I usually go to his house around 6:00 or 7:00, sometimes he makes supper, sometimes we get takeout. I don't know how to cook - I haven't lived on my own yet and haven't really been interested in learning until lately. We have a routine where if he cooks, I'll do the dishes. Other then that, I don't do any "upkeep" on his house. I have a couple of things in a drawer in his room (pjs, a couple shirts) and I have a blow dryer and hair straightener and a couple toiletries in his bathroom.

A couple of times now, he has brought up that I "don't do anything". He thinks that he bends over backwards for me every night because he cooks supper I'm assuming..

I just need some outside opinions.. if I don't live there, should I be sweeping his floors, mopping, etc? He claims that he "cleans his house" every day when I text him to see how his day is going so I find it would be a little redundant. I don't see what he means when he says I don't do anything.. can any guys/girls give me an opinion on what he might mean by that? I've tried asking what he means by that and he just gets all vague and says he doesn't need my help around the house anyway.

I've also offered to give him $300.00 a month for groceries because I feel bad for staying over 5-6 nights a week and having supper there about 3 or 4 times a week (even though if we get takeout we take turns buying). Is this a reasonable amount? Should I be doing more? I have never had a boyfriend complain about stuff like this and I have never officially lived with a boyfriend so I haven't transitioned into this whole suzie homemaker thing..

What are normal expectations in this regard?

[Anonymous]

...from my standpoint, your boyfriend is sort of a douche. Seriously, you're working full time. He's not. Oh, so he cooks every now and then - cooking is not hard, it's very easy and dare I say is actually enjoyable. $300 is more than enough for groceries, my wife and I don't hit $300 total in grocery shopping in a month.

You do not live there, you should not be sweeping his house, mopping his floors, and picking up his sh*t on top of your full time job and consistent, responsible financial support.

I work full time and I come home and clean, do laundry, etc. I'm not saying you should have to - I'm saying I do it because I love my wife and have never wanted her to have to do that stuff. He should have the same appreciation towards you, especially given all the things you DO do.

[Asker]

Wow it definitely puts it into perspective to see an opinion from a married man. Thank you for your response! :)

[Opinion Owner]

Sure thing. It'd be one thing if you had come here and said, "I don't live there, I shouldn't be doing this stuff, right?" But you did not say that, instead you showed very clearly that you put effort in helping out where you can, and the simple fact that you asked this question means you gave his criticisms some thought. That's the mark of a responsible, caring person. Consequently, it seems pretty apparent that he's being a bit of a baby over having to cook on some evenings.

[scorch]

Yea I would back out now. At this point his a douche when his unemployment runs out he'll be wanting you to move in so you can pay his bills. He'll be freeloading off of you and get mad if you don't give him money. My sister's ex just done that sh*t to her luckly she caught it before she moved in fully. It still turned out bad for her. He came to her house beat the crap out her cause she didn't move in to pay his bills.

[VooDooChild89]

#1- He should get a damn job...

#2 - I bet you do NOT eat anywhere's near 300$ worth of food at his house since some nights you guys do take out and you pay or he pays.

Instead of buying him groceries take supper to his house that way you are only paying for him and you to eat and he can't complain about it

or have him go to your house for dinner 2 x a week

#3 - No you should not clean his damn house, I hope he doesn't expect this of you. You should just be cleaning after yourself.

[katkaintkwit]

i couldn't imagine spending almost every night at someones house and not cleaning. kind of nasty lol and you should start cooking too. oh yeah and if you don't cook or clean and rarely do the dishes then you don't do anything lol and don't give him money

[Amorina]

If you clean up after yourself, that should be enough. He should clean his own damn house. He's a grown man and it's his house.