How do you not get bored in a long term relationship?

[dwright1022]

I've been dating my current boyfriend for about 6 months now. I was crazy about him in the beginning, I couldn't wait to talk to him every night and talk to him for hours, and the build up to seeing each other was very intense and I loved it. Since it's been about 6 months, the honeymoon stage has passed and so have the feelings you get when you start a relationship.

I still love my boyfriend, and talk to him constantly and see him constantly but I tend to get bored really quickly in long term relationships and I guess I thrive on the feelings you get when you are just starting a relationship and I miss those feelings, but I know I still want to be with my boyfriend.

So my question is, what should your feelings be like in a long term relationship? Is it okay for those butterflies from the beginning of the relationship to be gone? or should you still have those?

I've never been in a relationship for over a year so basically I'm looking for advice from people that are in or have been in long term relationships, and after being with a person for years, how do you know you still want to be with that person?

[Prettygurl12]

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and I still think he's just the most fantastic thing on the face of the planet. I'm always excited when I see him.

Your situation is extremely common. You have merged out of the "honeymoon" phase. You know, where you just think everything is rainbows and puppies and your SO is just the most incredible thing ever and every word he speaks is pure gold...haha.

This is pretty much where the real relationship starts. That stuff before? That doesn't count, really. This is where the sparkles fade and you begin to see who your SO really is. This is also where the majority of relationships fall apart.

In order to keep your relationship strong, you need to do something to keep connected. Maybe for you that's a nightly phone call, or maybe a weekly date night, or just doing crazy fun things together.

It's always good to have open communication between partners. It's your partner's "job" as your boyfriend to make sure you enjoy the relationship and that you don't need to seek affection elsewhere.

It is also your job as his girlfriend to do the same.

Your boyfriend is not perfect. He will make mistakes. And so will you. Be sure to know what you find unacceptable and don't just stay with him just to stay. If it's something you CANNOT accept, leave.

You do not know him well enough after 6 months of dating. This is where you will really start to learn about him and his quirks. Take joy in everything new you learn and your relationship will last for a very long time.

[UberTroll]

Well you said you talk to and see him constantly... so maybe you guys should just try to get a little more time away from each other? That'll give you guys time to start to miss each other and bring some spice into things when you do spend time together.

It's perfectly normal for the butterflies to disappear as time goes on. What's important is that you still enjoy each others' company and you're still attracted to each other. Personally I'm usually happy to let go of the honeymoon phase. Sure the butterflies and uncertainties can be exciting, but they can also be stressing. I much prefer when things wind down and you have a close, deep bond.

[MPanda]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 3 years now and I still get those butterflies when I see him. We always text one another and can't wait to see each other. We act just as we did the time we started dating three years ago, as we do now. Probably even more affectionate now!

Everyone is different when it comes to relationships. Some people just aren't the relationship type person. The butterflies do go away for some people. But realistically, if there's nothing really left, I wouldn't see there being any point to continue. If you were to ask yourself if you want to be with that same person: you just know.

[renogaza]

congrats :D

[MPanda]

Thanks! Probably the craziest part is that we've been dating 16 now going on 20. I've known him since I was 13

[Proxity]

I'm actually really glad you're concerned about your relationship to ask this.

The 'honeymoon phase' is pretty much like pouring out your feelings to someone after a long time of holding it in. Of course, it's all lovey-dove until enough time has passed. Yes, the relationship will start to diminish considerably with enough time (it's inevitable), but 'boring' wouldn't be the word I'd use describe it. Nor is it something indefinite.

At this point, you should just be happy to have someone you can be yourself around. Someone you can count on to help you in life. Sometimes, simple things like snuggling and cheek kissing will remain effective with everyday activities like 'movie nights,' and you barely have to say much. I would suggest laying off the sex, making out, and all that lovey-dove talk. Stick to the snuggling and cheek kisses, an maybe OCCASIONALLY a flirty joke. Just hang out for a while and keep things fresh.

Eventually, that honeymoon 'spark' will return in time and all that pent up romantic/sexual tension will make for a lasting evening. Give it a try.

[UberTroll]

"The 'honeymoon phase' is pretty much like pouring out your feelings to someone after a long time of holding it in."

That's a good way of putting it!

[awaken03]

if you want your relationship to last, both of you should have self-time so that you could go with hobbies, any other recreational activities that you can get your hands into..spending time with other people friends family can also help you grow as a better person just make sure you make yourself exclusive to only that guy..so there will always be something to look forward to and talk about and you will miss each others company..some relationships end up if there is too much communication..constantly checking his whereabouts is not also good. it's all about putting your trust with each other and having a good compromise to make this work..it takes two to tango as they say because relationships work if both parties are understanding each other and helping it workout.

[martyfellow]

Good old Skype really helps. I'm in China teachng now and away from my beautiful wife...it's hard at times.

We regularly, daily, chat on Skype, and our reunions are fantastic, when I go back for summer and New Year's.

We have been together six yers now and while we're not newlyweds, our relationship has deepened over time.

I think people get bored because they have Hollywood type, silly expectations of how life together will be. It's not always going to be exciting; if you expect it will be, then you will feel bored and disappointed!

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I've been with my wife (including dating) for 15 years. Yes, you do lose some of that 'butterfly' feeling. Which does kinda suck. But you also lose that "OMG SHE HASN'T TEXTED ME IN 15 MINUTES, I WONDER IF SHE'S CHEATING" paranoia also.

The challenge is to keep it exciting. Even if your partner isn't as willing to go out on a limb and be creative and change things, do it because you want to keep the relationship fresh.

Think of new activities/hobbies for you to do together and apart. Go on trips together to new places.

Create "dates" where you don't act so comfortable around each other, and where he has to call you for the date, pick you up, open the door for you, etc. Just like a real first date...no "hey, wanna come over and watch a movie at my place".

[Dhruva]

I have been with my wife for six years and we are both still very happy in love. I find that the relationship constantly evolves. We are not the same people we were when we met. It's up to the both of you to keep the spark going. If the both of you are doing the exact same thing you were doing when you first met than naturally the relationship will start to get boring. You both need to be spontaneous. That's the beauty of being in a relationship discovering things together. Go on vacations, try new things, take up a hobby together, move in together that's an adventure on its own. Good luck and all the best

[satyam7487]

Girls even get bored in relationship? Strange in india its not like that

[Anonymous]

Damn who knew 6 months was considered long term...