It really angers me, pisses me off, why does life, society, culture, have all these rules as to how a Man

[Anonymous]

is supposed to be? as to how what separates a boy from a man? Seriously it really pisses me off, makes me angry, frustrated, furious, so much that it makes me feel like physically hurting someone just to show the world and society how pissed I am, It's why I hate being male at times. I hate how society expects us guys to toughen it up all the time, seriously, who or what made these rules, standards in society as to how a Man is supposed to be? I f***in' hate how society always tells us guys to "Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair, Grow Some Balls, Sack It Up" Seriously why are a guy's Balls an excuse for doing that? Why are a guy's Balls a symbol of toughness, strength, assertiveness, leadership, initiative, making things happen, etc.? and one guy says "because balls are what makes us guys" I seriously felt like kicking his ass for saying that. They always say that part of being a Man is taking charge, taking initiative, being assertive, being a leader, making things happen, that we have to validate ourselves and not seek approval, validation from others, having goals, a mission, purpose in life, that your mission and purpose in life must come before anything else, etc. They never say to girls, women "Woman Up, Be a Woman" I made those quotes, phrases up to be the Female Equivalent, Counterpart to "Man Up, Be a Man". It's like girls, women are automatically accepted by society and life as how they already are, but us guys always have to keep proving ourselves all the damn times. It's like as if life, society, culture, has rules, standards as to what separates a boy from a man, but they do not have any rules as to what separates a girl from a woman. Also whenever a guy rants, whines, complains, is acting immature, they will always tell him "grow up and start being a Man", but they never do if a girl does the same thing. Seriously one time when a guy said to me "Grow a Pair, Man Up, Be a Man", I swear I literally kicked his ass, I f***in' punched his lights out, make him have a bloody nose, because those sexist phrases get so damn annoying, seriously why is society, life like this? I may not be a Man but that does not mean I am a wimp

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I hate how everyone or most people say that us guys have life easier than girls, women, that it's easier to be a man than it is to be a woman, that we have dating and relationships easier than women, girls, they say that being a guy, male is much better than being a girl, woman.

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+1 y

Seriously why are Balls, Testosterone, an excuse for a guy to be more aggressive in all aspects of life? where is the argument to back that up?

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OVERALL!, WHY ARE A GUY'S BALL'S, TESTICLES AN EXCUSE FOR BEING TOUGH, STRONG, ASSERTIVE, TAKING CHARGE, MAKING THINGS HAPPEN, LEADING? if you think I'm full of estrogren wait til I kick your ass

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+1 y

SERIOUSLY, THE WORLD AND SOCIETY REALLY NEEDS AN ASS-KICKING!

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+1 y

WHY DOES LIFE, SOCIETY, CULTURE, HAVE ALL OF THESE RULES, STANDARDS, EXPECTATIONS, AS TO HOW A "MAN" IS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHY IS GOING AFTER WHAT YOU WANT, BEING DOMINANT, LEADING, TAKING CHARGE, BEING HEAD-STRONG, ALL MASCULINE TRAITS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

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like this one guy that said this to me years ago, I feel like killing him, but I don't because I don't want to get into legal trouble: "No bro, it isn't. And I don't want to be a**** but seriously this is like the eleventh thread you've complained in.

F*cking grow a pair. Seriously, man up. You need to have a spine, NO ONE respects a door mat, and you'll NEVER get a relationship without respect. Realize that YOU are in control of your own destiny and women don't OWE you sh*t!

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+1 y

"not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.

You gotta EARN it. EARN it by realising that you don't NEED to have a chick to validate your existance, realize that people try to help you all the time, but your LAZY ass ALWAYS blames society instead of taking initiative and making yourself more attractive the opposite gender. ADAPT! Don't cry about women not wanting you, find out what they want and use that to make yourself more attractive.

Oh and be a Man" I hate him a lot

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+1 y

SERIOUSLY THAT GUY WHO SAID THAT TO ME, I WISH I COULD KILL HIM LIKE THIS: link

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+1 y

I hate how people, life, always say "Real Men take charge, control, initiative, know what they want and go after it, make things happen, lead, are decisive, etc."

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Well -

How society works, is that it emphasizes, enhances, and popularizes natural aspects of human character.

Men are naturally more assertive, aggressive (testosterone,) ambitious, dangerous, risky, dare devilish, adventurous, head strong, prideful in their masculinity and ego's - and not to mention making their stance in the field of endless male competiton.

That's why society has derived such rigid ideals for males. Humans are interesting in how we idealize ourselves in regard to gender, race, etc -

We seek perfection; and within all the wonderful traits that make men male - it was only a matter of time before society began to develop idealized perspectives on what it means to truthfully be male. And over time as humans, and society became more complex - those ideas just became more and more refined.

It's the same thing with women. We have terrible pressure to be the epitome of beauty, the perfect mothers, the perfect lovers, etc -

Both genders have our stresses here. It seems easier to me for you as a guy because you don't understand my hardships as a woman, and never could until you are one - and likewise, I'll never truly understand your hardships as a man without being one.

But I see exactly what your talking about - and men do have my compassion in that respect.

I grew up with a brother, and at times I could see him wanting to be able to just have a break. To be able to be vulnerable without ridicule.

But men rarely get that chance - because your ego's are at stake.

And that's another thing -

Men hold their pride and ego's so dear - on a level that's so profound and deeply implanted inside them - that they simply cannot be demeaned.

That is a dude's core - and when that ego is broken - he's down for the count. I've seen it happen once and the guy eventually killed himself. I think he lost his job, house, and his wife just gave it to him About how worthless he was – I mean just handed it to the guy. He was a distant cousin, my great aunt was tellin me about it. But his wife was already kind of verbally abusive, and she just went in on him. That on top of losing his livelihood, on top of all the pressure of what it takes to be a guy; he just couldn’t handle it. My uncle was struggling to support his family and was just so frustrated, angry, and hurt on a very deep level. My aunt was upset too, but you know – women have a unique way of taking hard crap like that. I don't know what it is, but our ego’s don’t hurt us so much when their hit. We endure. Maybe that’s why we have the kids?

Anyway – male society is tough. I use to think men had it so much easier, but I really understand now that it’s a hard knock life to have sometimes.

It’s so tiring –

Men just never get a break. Women can seek such solice and refuge in a man – but men tirelessly have to keep proving their worth and masculinity.

It’s rough – but that’s why men were built tough.

[Asker]

I HATE HOW WOMEN LOVE MEN WITH CONFIDENCE SO MUCH, IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!, SERIOUSLY WHY ARE WOMEN, GIRLS, INSTINCTIVELY, HARD-WIRED, PROGRAMMED TO WANT GUYS WITH CONFIDENCE?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Because confidence is just attractive. I'm sorry - I can't be constantly babying any person girl or guy because they have no inner strength or belief in themselves. Confidence isn't just for dating - confidence is just genuinely great to have in life. It makes problems easier to face, and steels you against a lot of life's sh*t. Doesn't matter if your a dude or chick - I say lacking confidence makes you a weaker person. Your easy to step on, easy to destroy without

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

having that inner wall built up to shield yourself from the constant attacks life will throw at you. I hate when people mope and complain - wallow in their own self pity. Like quit crying and get some back bone already. It's just ridiculous. How do you expect this life to be good for you, if you can't even be good to yourself? It's just ridiculous. I've been told I'm ugly, I've been rejected, I've been beat down time and time again - but I don't let it destroy me. Because I'm confident. It's jus

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

a great thing to have. Once you've created a foundation in yourself, you make a strong base that's hard to be knocked down from. Men are generally revered for strength - confidence is the best strength you can have. When your confident - your unstoppable. I don't tolerate my friends to moan and wallow - I help build them up. I'm a strong girl - I see no fault in wanting an equally strong man...

[Asker]

seriously why do guys have to be successful in life in order to be successful with women?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Just shows your a well rounded person. I mean, I don't know too many people keen on having a purposeless couch potato for a partner. Except some guys who want their wives to sit at home on their asses all day. Other than that - it's kind of unacceptable for people to just waste their lives away. One of my good guy friends hates his girlfriend for that, and has been checking out other girls who are more goal oriented.

Ambition is just alluring in itself.

[Asker]

yeah but it is far more important for a guy to have those traits than it is for a girl

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea - but what do you want me to say here? I mean it's our society who's sculpted this idea so severely out for men as I explained above. There's not much that can be done until the idea changes and with this whole equality thing it probably will.

However,

You are no one's bitch - and that includes society's. It's your life. Do what makes you feel like a man. Cry if you want, don't be confident, give yourself a break from it for a little while.

I mean - if your pride will allow it...

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

I have my frustrations as a woman, but I don't let them get to me. No gender has it absolutely wonderful here - just tend to have what the other gender wants - i.e. we envy each other. Women want more authority - men want more options. Don't know when things will change - but until they do, even if they never do - you can't let aspects get you down. Problems come with race, age, sex, height, just about everything that makes up you.

Just gotta deal with it. Your def not the only one so...

[Asker]

i just hate double-standards, gender roles with a huge passion, not expecting you to say anything

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Everyone hates them. But eh - what can you do lol?

[Asker]

nothing, but that's why I wish I could kick somebody's ass for telling me to "Man Up" so I can show society that I refuse to adapt, follow those rules

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea. But kicking one person's ass isnt' going to do anything. It's going to take an epic wave of societal evolution to get things changed. Which is what's kinda happening now so.

[Asker]

yeah I won't solve anything but it will release all of my anger, frustration, like I just want to go "Incredible Hulk" on the World, since that's how he transforms, gets that way, from stress, anger, frustration, gets pissed off, overall, the whole World needs an ass-kicking

[socalgamehater2006]

i feel his pain, frustration

[LaLa19Inu7]

You girl...are quite the smart one. ^_^

I give your comment 5 stars! ;)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

awe thank you ^^

[liars_paradox]

You're pretty smart. I rather enjoyed your post.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

why thank you ^^

[liars_paradox]

I seriously think that your answer was the best, but the OP is a little douche bag that just wants to whine about not getting his way in life.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

oh yea, you get a lot of those on there. The woest be me's and chronic complainers about everything wrong in their lives that they have every means to fix or cope with.

Ugh, I only tolerate whining from children. Even then lol

[Asker]

i just hate the pressure's we males have to deal with, that's what!

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea you and the MILLIONS OF OTHER MEN ON THIS PLANET.

Give me a break.

They figured it out, so figure it out already. Life isn't fair, you just gotta suck it up and try and fix what you can. Who knows maybe you'll be the person to straighten things out, but sitting around and crying about isn't going to do anything for you or society so. Get to it yea?

[Asker]

i don't know how

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

For starters, do you have any idea what may be causing you to have issues here? Is there a pattern in the girls who reject you or have you not even tried yet?

[LaLa19Inu7]

I have read most of the comments here so I don't think I need to say it all again here but:

Who cars what society says, do and be what you want. It's simple. Don't be angry, just be. Be you.

Yeah, society is a bitch..so what? That's life. Life's never boring with it I'll admit.

Maybe it's like this because it creates a balance. *shrugs*.

If all men and women were wimpy crybabies nothing would get done because no one would do anything.

And if all men and women were macho and obnoxious and huge ego people nothing would get done because everyone would just argue about it all and fight over it so nothing would happen.

You need a balance. For example: You need to be able to feed yourself, feed your kids, sustain a marriage, work, and pay the bills. How would we do this all without a balance?

Men and Women can't all get pregnant for nine months. Imagine a husband and wife both getting pregnant after they made love. How the hell would that work out?

Or imagine Men and Women going off to work and leaving their newborn baby alone in the house with no one around. How the hell would that work out? (no babysitter)

So...stop being angry and just do what you want. Anger will not solve the problem. And I agree that guys have tough lives too but so do women. We get beaten down for being weak and tough. It's either we are weak and useless or too tough to handle.

You don't hear anyone saying that guys are too tough..do you?

Resist the stereotype. Be who you want to be. Because believe me...you are wasting your time getting angry about society. Words don't do sh*t. Action does. If you want to change society...you need action not angry words with nothing to back it up. You be the change you want to see in this world. Stop complaining like a baby. (I'd say the same thing to a girl). Don't complain. Do!

Confidence makes everything in life easier. What's wrong with it? I'd give anything to feel confident 100 percent of the time. It'd make life way more fun I think. :) For girls and guys.

[Asker]

I just hate how we guys always have to make the first move, take charge, initiative, whenever that type of question arises, people always say "because you are a man, be a man, man up, grow some balls, grow a pair" seriously those sexist phrases get so damn annoying, It makes me want to beat the sh*t out of someone, kick their ass, obviously a guy, when he says that to me, that way I would show him that I do have balls, that I am a man

[Asker]

and the way I would want to change society is by kicking someones ass, beating them up the next time someone tells me to "man up, be a man, grow a pair, grow some balls" to show the world and society how pissed I am, that how much I hate gender roles, how much I hate, despise, loathe the rules, standards, expecations of how a "Man" is supposed to be.

[Asker]

this fight scene really pumps me up: link

[LaLa19Inu7]

okay..did you even read my comment? Stop complaining like a baby and go to something about it by being you. Be the change you want to be. Whining about it is not going to change sh*t my friend. And stop repeating yourself. You sound like a f***ing broken record. I read your Question. I f***ing get it. -_- Beating people up is probably not the best way to go about changing society. Just saying. You'll just because more useless, stupid anger that doesn't solve sh*t. It is all about being calm..

[LaLa19Inu7]

focused, and going for what you want. if you repeat the whole "grow balls..and man up" one more time. I will f***ing scream. Seriously. Chill out. You don't get to make noise like that until you change society. ^_*

[LaLa19Inu7]

And I don't understand you hating it all the time. What do you want. Do you want to be a woman? Do you want to have a sex change? Do you hate feeling strong and independent and in control? Do you hate being in charge? Do you hate being tough? I don't understand how you as a man can possilby always be so angry about being tough and being complimented for being tough...

[Asker]

complaining like a baby? no!, f*** that I'm not weak like a baby, yes I hate being strong, independent and in control, BECAUSE IT IS A LOT OF F***IN' WORK!, IT'S A CHORE, BURDEN, I HATE RESPONSBILITIES!

[LaLa19Inu7]

Oh well that changes things buddy. You hate responsibilities? ha ha. Everyone has responsibilities whether you are a male or a female. Even if you take away the gender stereotypes and etc. Irresponsibility looks bad regardless of your gender or age or whatever. It looks like you don't want to change society...you simply just want to complain and whine about it just to complain and whine about it. You hate being in control? Really? So you'd prefer to be a vegetable not even being able to...

[LaLa19Inu7]

feed yourself? or walk? or do anything? You want someone else to always do everything for you? What a lazy person. Are you kidding me? So you are making all this noise just because you are lazy and irresponsible? Wow. That's kind of lame. -_-

[LaLa19Inu7]

You are just going from one extreme to the next. I thought you just wanted to be able to be tough when you want and be weak when you have to without being ridiculed. Like...everyone should be treated equal in that no one is looked down on anyone for being who they are. I thought you meant that guys should be able to express their strengths and weaknesses without shame or embarrassment. But you are simply coming off as a whiny person who wants attention and wants people to feel sorry for you.

[LaLa19Inu7]

What the hell? All you want is a pity party and it's quite irritating. For girls and guys that's irritating. Oh..poor you...life is so F***ING TOUGH...grow up! This has nothing to do with being a man...it just has to do with being a person! GROW THE HELL UP! Some people have it better than you and some have it worse. That's life for everyone! And you have to just be you and do what you do. All you want is for people to feel sorry for you...psh..how lame. -_-

[Asker]

i just hate it whenever there is an argument, debate, discussion, conversation about who should make the first move, do the talking first, asking out first when it comes to dating and relationships, people always say the guy, people always say "Man Up, Grow a Pair, Grow Some Balls, Be a Man" Seriously why is it part of being a Man? who or what said so? When I said I hate responsibilities, it's mostly because I hate it when I get rejected, denied something, I hate it with a huge passion

[Asker]

i hate being the one to take charge, make things happen, lead, the only way I would enjoy taking charge, making things happen, leading, is that I get to make it happen when and where I want it, anytime I want to, that I literally always get to have the final say for everything, that I am the "Boss", that you can never disobey me, I get what I want and when I want it

[LaLa19Inu7]

Whatever...I have heard that some guys feel emasculated by women asking out guys more now than before...some guys feel more entitled to doing that...also with marriage proposals...I'm sure they're men that would find it odd to have women proposing instead...so I guess everyone has their own opinions. Whatever..just live your life and be you and do what you want. And stop being so angry...it isn't healthy. ciao.

[Asker]

proposing I'm fine doing, but asking out for a date, relationship, making the first move, etc. tired of that always being up to the guy. Seriously, I don't get see or how it makes the guy feel emasculated

[LaLa19Inu7]

Emasculated in the sense that a guy feels more manly by asking a girl out on a date instead of the other way around. Some guys like making the first move...is my point. Whereas other guys don't mind being asked out by girls. I mean I personally think it would be flattering to be asked regardless of your gender...but to each her/his own.

[Asker]

yeah but it is still very extremely rare for a girl to initiate things

[Asker]

it's easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend, and no I'm not saying it is because we guys always have to initiate everything, but it is because if a guy has low self-esteem, depressed about being single, feels sorry for himself, overall, low confidence or no confidence at all, has the wrong attitude, mindset, mentality, bad social-skills, conversation skills, he is screwed, even if he looks like Brad Pitt

[Asker]

and when a guy feels that way, you girls are extremely intuitive, can easily smell, detect that a guy is feeling like that or is that way and it is a turn-off, however, a girl can be the same way, have those negative qualities but as long as she is very hot, cute, pretty, most of us guys won't care, we will give her a chance, and no I'm not saying just for casual sex, hook-up only, one-night stand, but an actual relationship as well too, you girls have the advantage

[LaLa19Inu7]

That's a huge generalization. And I have to disagree with you. I happen to be very pretty and I have never had a boyfriend before sooo...you're wrong about that..lol. Um...girls and guys have advantages in different things and guys can be real immature a**holes and jerks sometimes. We do not have the advantage. When we get married..we have to cook, clean, take care of the children...put our life on hold for our husbands...husbands rarely have to do that for their wives (for example)...

[LaLa19Inu7]

That's why I don't know if I ever want to get married because I don't want spome husband to always expect me to cook and clean and do laundry...how irritanting...I understand their has to be a balance...but that doesn't mean I want it...and also anyone who has low self esteem could ahve trouble getting a date...I don't think that it is a girl thing or a guy thing. I agree guys have it hard too...but I disagree with your generalization. It goes both ways.

[LaLa19Inu7]

It'a tough being female too...always having to be careful of rape...sexual harassment...if a guy is actually talking to you because they like you as a person and your personality instead of just your looks. Not knowing if a guy is talking to you because they are interested in what you are saying or did they just talk to you because you have big boobs. Or just being friendly with a guy and him immediately thinking you want him...It goes both ways...we all have trouble...

[LaLa19Inu7]

Yes...it is tough being guy...and it can really suck...but I don't think women have the advantage with everything...it's too much of a generalization. I think all humans are quite simple...but we just complicate our own lives for no reason. We take things for granted...we overanalyze crap...we sweat the small stuff...it's just stupid..Humans are ridiculous in my opinion. Women and Men have it hard for different reasons. It isn't black or white.

[LaLa19Inu7]

And I don't know about intuitive...if you have a low self esteem...anyone can see it from miles away..that isn't a female thing...guys can pick up on that too...lol. And also...give her chance? lol...yeah right..if anything guys will use a girls' self esteem to take advantage of her or pressure her into doing something she is not comfortable with (this is just an example)...or make fun of her..I'm not saying all guys are like this...

[LaLa19Inu7]

...but if you are going to make such generalized claims...you can't just be one-sided. because then I could easily say that the only reason you think women have ti better is because you're a guy. And that would be the end of the conversation. Are you telling me you do not think women have it hard too. We all have it hard. it isn't as simple as either or.

[LaLa19Inu7]

I personally think girls can be quite irritating as hell and can put guys through hell and are crueler than guys by far when it comes to tearing people down but that does not mean that I think women have it easier than men. You see...I just used two sides. Girls can be real bitches in a way guys aren't. It's true. But there is crap that women have to go through that men will never ever have to face and vice versa.

[LaLa19Inu7]

For example, there are more girls in the world than guys; therefore, girls have to deal with a lot more competition. And another example...men can continue making babies until they're 80...whereas once women hit a certain age it is harder to have kids and then at a certain age...they can no longer have kids.

[LaLa19Inu7]

Girls also have to deal with you men and your huge ass egos and your pride...I see my parents fight...tsk tsk...you men can have so much pride that you just think you know everything...it can be quite irritating...girls' egos aren't the size of the f***ing universe like guys' are it seems..lol.

[Asker]

well you will probably get your first boyfriend before you turn 23, I just turned 24 and have never had a girlfriend, it is very frustrating, depressing being inexperienced, that is why I say to myself "i bet if I was a girl, I would have had a boyfriend a long time ago"

[LaLa19Inu7]

Nope...wrong again. I have a friend who is 22...she is gorgeous, smart, interesting, funny..etc...do you think she's had a boyfriend before...NO...so yeah..you're wrong. And I have another friend who is 19 and gorgeous too...NO BOYFRIEND. It isn't easier or harder for the sexes. I have seen other girls on this site who are your exact age and don't have boyfriends either sooooooo your point?...girls go through it too.

[Asker]

well there is more pressure on us guys unfortuneately, sadly

[LaLa19Inu7]

You are still wrong dude... -_-

Have you read/seen "Pride and Prejudice?" it sucks for both sexes sometimes.

[Asker]

i bet if I was a girl I would have had a boyfriend a long time ago

[LaLa19Inu7]

Nope. You wouldn't. Why do you keep repeating the same crap...it is never going to change how wrong you are? Everyone has insecurities...the way to deal with those is not to wish you were the other gender. What the hell?

[Asker]

nothing is wrong with confidence, it is developing it, keeping it that is what I hate, if only there was an easy short-cut to gain it, I would not be feeling like this

[LaLa19Inu7]

Life would be so f***ing boring and lame and a waste of f***ing time if everything was easy. You'd probably complain more if it were a piece of cake. Don't kid yourself.

[Asker]

also, there are probably more guys out there who have never had a girlfriend than there are girls who have never had a boyfriend, and I doubt there is someone out there for everyone

[LaLa19Inu7]

Well actually there are more girls in the world than guys...so population-wise we have less of a chance than you guys. So again you are wrong. Stop babbling...I am getting tired of your pity party. Go and cry on someone else's shoulder. -_- If you want to have a better life...just do you and be open-minded. Sayonara. Stop replying to me and just move on with your life...you're irritating me. Go complain to someone else. Stop being so negative and have a good life. peace out.

[liars_paradox]

In this regard, I have to agree with the OP. From my experience, girls tend to be more sexually experience than guys - even the socially introverted ones. The reason for that is, girls tend to do it with the same set of guys in middle and high school, whereas a lot of guys are left out.

Maybe more women are likely to die alone, but shy girls are probably going to date more than shy guys.

[LaLa19Inu7]

What? Sorry it's been two months. What comment are you referring to specifically? And OP?

[Asker]

agreed, obviously being socially-awkward, quiet, is a thousand, million time worse if you are a guy

[LaLa19Inu7]

QA: I don't know the best way to deal with being quiet and all apart from just getting over yourself and talking..haha...but there are ways to lessen the social-awkwardness. And awkwardness is everywhere and happens to everyone...you just have to figure out the best way to either roll with it or maneuver around it. :) And once again stop generalizing...you can't just say right off the bat that socially awkward guys have it worse than girls.

[Asker]

socially-awkward guys do have it worse than girls obviously, since guys always have to initiate conversation

[LaLa19Inu7]

Guys always have to initiate conversation?!, I got two words for you = THAT'S BULLSHIT. Guys don't always have to initiate conversation...what..are they put under some spell that they are forced to do this? lol...& to be honest if you don't initiate a conversation...no one will get a good view of how smart you are or friendly you are or etc...so why are you saying it like it's a bad thing..I'm tired of going over the same crap with you over and over. I don't feel like conversing with a baby!

[Asker]

why is it bullsh*t? girls never approach guys or ask them out you know

[LaLa19Inu7]

Never? Lol...you're silly. :P Go read a book.

[LaLa19Inu7]

I'm going to ask a guy out...lol...so I don't know what's your deal. ;P

[Asker]

well I did not mean it literally, it's just very rare for a girl to initiate

[LaLa19Inu7]

...

[LaLa19Inu7]

I thought guys liked asking girls out? And taking initiative? Isn't it like a macho thing in a sense? I guess I was wrong. O.O

[Asker]

that was the past

[LaLa19Inu7]

So guys don't like proposing and asking girls out anymore? You have all become chickens? :P

[LaLa19Inu7]

Hey my girl friend that never had a boyfriend (19 years old) before...took initiative (yes..she did) and told a guy how she felt and then guess what?...the guy asked her out...and now they are happily together. :) So instead of continuing to moan and whine so much about being single she went out of her way to tell him her feelings and was pleasantly surprised to find out he liked her back. ;) Even though nervous...she did it and felt relieved about it before he even said he liked her back.

[LaLa19Inu7]

So there...you happy? Girls take initiative too...when guys are too scared or shy to do it. ;]

[Asker]

so she made the first move and it was successful? if so that is inspiring

[LaLa19Inu7]

Yep..she made the first move and told him.. she was relieved after...and a couple days later..he tells her she makes him happy and are perfect together...and they are now happily together. ^_^ and it turned out he liked her for sometime too. :D

[Asker]

they have been together for more than a year? because many girls argue, say that relationships are bound for failure, are not as good when the girl does the initiating

[LaLa19Inu7]

They've been friends for about a year and just barely started dating. "relationships are bound for failure, are not as good when the girl does the initiating" = what a load of bull. -_- It depends on the guy and girl. What was she supposed to do wait for prince charming to ask her out when she's 40? lol. If you guys are too chicken to ask a girl out and then the girl is too afraid to ask any guy out because she is afraid the relationship is bound to fail...what will that help? lol. how silly.

[LaLa19Inu7]

Where are you getting all this bullsh*t from? Stop reading about other people's relationships and focus on you and what you want to do for yourself as opposed to what everyone else is doing. gosh. First you say girls won't ask out guys if they are socially awkward or whatever and then you say that if girls ask out guys then the relationship is more likely to fail? What the hell? You're confusing me. O.O

[LaLa19Inu7]

It sounds to me that you don't know what you want...

[Asker]

don't get me wrong, I find that bullsh*t as well as for relationships turning into failures when the girl initiates, but it's just what I hear from other girls, I still disagree with those other girls

[LaLa19Inu7]

Well good..because they're wrong. -_-..haha..it turns out my friend's current boyfriend was too shy to tell her how he felt...so think about how dumb it would have been if she never told him how she felt? Nothing would have ever happened! Or at least nothing would have happened soon. And by the way screw your "Q/update!" -_- Knowing what you want and going after it gives your life purpose and drive and pushes you to accomplish what you need to be happy..that goes for males and females...

[LaLa19Inu7]

...And it has nothing to with being a "real man"..it has to do with a person with purpose..you should either know what you want or be looking for what you want. It's that simple. Not knowing what you want or not looking fro what you want doesn't make you any less real sweetie...it just makes you look like a "lost soul" I guess I could say or someone who is not living life to the fullest.

[Asker]

well girls, or people always use that as the excuse as to why the guy has to make the first move, it gets annoying

[PHLove]

Would you rather be a woman? Would you rather be expected to be perfect and look perfect all the time? Would you like the pressure to be educated and ambitious but not so ambitious that you threaten men? How about dealing with being a good mother but still having a career...don't forget, you probably shouldn't gain weight so you'll have to either watch what you eat or go to the gym somewhere in there. But when it comes to the career don't be better than your husband, he may feel inadequate, mope around for a bit, and then cheat on you with some skank. Not to mention don't ever freak out, because then you're just a crazy b*tch. The list goes on and on.

If you want an answer as to why men are manly look in history, men have always been providers where women have always been caregivers, mainly because men are just naturally stronger. Yeah, that plays less of a role today but think about it, would you want to date some butchy girl? That's how we feel about dating a whiny guy. I don't understand why guys complain so much, go to the gym, go to school, get a good job, work your way up the career ladder (did I mention that in a lot of industry's there's still a glass ceiling for women?), and you'll be fine. Women don't expect perfection from men, men however do expect perfection from women.

[Asker]

how do men expect perfection in women? but women do not expect perfection in men?

[Asker]

what do you mean women do not expect perfection in men?

[Asker]

how do men expect perfection from women?

[socalgamehater2006]

why don't you answer him?

[Anonymous]

dude seriously bro you need to chill a lil..universe is like this for a reason and its ony a matter of time bro we at the last draw right now just be patient and due yout die diligences then you'll be alright. don't think of it as rules bro and everything will seem much easier

[Asker]

yeah well I hate the way it is

[socalgamehater2006]

yeah tell me about it, it pisses me off like it does to you, like I just want to hurt someone for pissing me off that way

[liars_paradox]

OP, I seriously think that you picked the wrong answer. oOsweet~o~nessOo's answer was a genuinely good answer, and yet you picked this a-hole because he agrees with you.

You don't appreciate an objectively good answer when you're given one, but only look for answers that stroke your delicate ego. Which is why you deserve the bad things that the universe gives you, because you're unwilling to change and become a better person.

[LaLa19Inu7]

liars_paradox = Yep..I figured that out a longgg time ago...this QA guy whines way too much. -_-

[Anonymous]

I agree with the other anonymous user when she stated that neither gender has it easier; it's not difficult thinking that women have it easier because you have never been a woman and vice versa. What is extremely sad about the US is that we've coined the term "grow a pair" or "Man up" to mean other terms that are sadly fading away from everyday language. Courage. Bravery. Tenacity. Perseverance. What's really sad is that I actually just had a conversation with a girl today about finals and she literally told me "grow some balls...you'll figure it out" What she probably meant to say was "hang in there, stay on task, and don't let anything get in your way"

What you just described is the epitome of my dad and my older brother. Both have egos the size of this world and both are extremely headstrong. They don't take criticism at all and both are always right and I'm always wrong. I think that it has been genetically programmed into men to be the protector, but like all programs, this one gets abused regularly and sometimes men don't know how to turn it off and take a break because they don't want to seem vulnerable or weak. And on this note, the argument to back everything up can be found in history books and by turing on the television and watching movies like James Bond.

My best advice to you (if you want any) is to let it go and forget the people who are too stupid to realize that men need a break and they too need to relax.

[Asker]

i hate societies expectations of guys

[Opinion Owner]

Then go against the grain and be yourself and not what society expects of you.

[Asker]

yeah but whenever there is an argument, debate about which gender has it easier, almost all guys will say "i'm glad I'm not a girl", and I hear more girls say guys have it easier than the other way around

[Anonymous]

Women are taught to "Be nice and behave." They are supposed to give to others when they are exhausted, put everyone else's needs in front of their own, be responsible, get good grades, be kind to others, not yell or get angry, not displease their friends and partner by wanting something different than the other person wants, live to serve, be humble, be helpful, be subordinate, never have needs that don't support someone else. Etc. There are stereotypes for both genders.

You, personally, sound like you have some problems with being passive-aggressive. Needing to get over this is essential, not because you're a man ... but because your seething in anger but not doing anything about it. Nobody else can fix your problems.

[Asker]

and why do I have to be responsible for my own self? why is taking control of your life a "Masculine" thing?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Taking control of your life is just a genuine thing. Male or female. You don't let your life get crazy and out of hand.

[Asker]

yeah but it is generally expected more from guys

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Depends. Women are criticized for not having our sh*t together in that regard - and that tends to hit home more with chicks, because women are often looked at for being extremely organized, put together and having our priorties straight. If we don't, we're often attacked for how lousy we'll be as moms or wives, and overall. It's hard as a woman to hear you'll be a crappy mom, as we do take a lot of pride in our capabilities to raise chillens

[Opinion Owner]

Taking control of yourself isn't a "masculine" thing ... it's an "adult" thing.

[Asker]

yeah but it is more expected from guys than it is from girls, they always make arguments, comments, saying "real men take charge, lead"

[Opinion Owner]

You need some help. All I hear from you is unresolved anger.

[Asker]

I just hate double-standards, gender roles, I hate how society expects us guys to Toughen it up all the damn time, expects us to be Dominant, have Power, be Leaders, it's like the entire weight of the World is upon us guy's shoulders, I just want to show the World how pissed I am, that I refuse to grow balls, that I refuse to be a Man

[socalgamehater2006]

i agree with him

[liars_paradox]

I don't agree with him. I admit that society isn't fair on me either, but I'm not whining about how I want to hurt the world over it. I recognize that society doesn't care about what I think is right, but I'm not up here talking about how I want to hurt the world.

I think that the OP needs some counseling. He probably needs to see a psychologist and maybe a psychiatrist to prescribe him some anti-psychotics to handle all his anger.

[Asker]

well there comes a time when you reach that boiling point

[shaydeee]

each gender has sterotypes... rise above and forget about it.

dont let society get to you.

just beacuse some one tells you that you have to be "A man" dosnt mean you have to obsess about fitting the role.

Do you really think every one likes a guy like that? NOOO!

[Asker]

i just feel like kicking someones ass for telling me to grow some balls

[frustratedchump06]

yeah, girls just have to be hot, cute, pretty, look good in order to be girlfriend material, that's all, nothing else

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Well blame dudes for setting that standard. Like come on. Don't complain about us being pretty air heads when that's what most guys want anyway...

[Asker]

why are girls more attracted to a guy's status, attitude, mentality, power, confidence, his sense of humor, passion, drive, goals, mental strength, more than his looks?

[liars_paradox]

ooSweetness, you're absolutely right If frustrated chumps like frustratedchump or the OP want to complain, why not go for cool, charismatic, ugly girls instead of wanting to hurt the world because they're just big pansies?

[Asker]

and girls are allowed to be pansies

[Anonymous]

Women also have expectations too. Women have to be skinny, stupid and dependent on men (thank you Twilight). Society is just a flaw. You choose what you wanna be, not what they want you to be.

[Asker]

yeah but us guys are always expected to be strong, tough all the damn time, be assertive

[Opinion Owner]

And I have to be skinny and dumb.

Just don't let it get to you. Our society is messed up, and you don't really have to be that way. It's your decision on how you want to be.

[Asker]

yeah but when I don't let it get to me, people criticize guys for being weak

[lace1228]

And girls are told to stay in the kitchen where we belong, or told not to do this or that because we are to weak and fragile. Sports and cars and construction is a mans job women don't belong here.Men still get paid more then women even for doing the same job. Never have there been a female president in the united states. Women are always looked at as being emotional unstable. Stereotypes go both ways.

[Anonymous]

Neither gender have it "easier" than the other. Your right society has too much rules so that's why I don't live by them. I make my one rules and live my life how I wanna. I think you should too. Don't focus too much on what people think. it can drive anybody crazy. Just be your own person and be happy. don't try 2 fit into society standards then end up making yourself miserable.

[Asker]

yeah but girls are allowed to be weak

[moviedude714]

you just asked what I've been wondering all this time

[Moloch]

Because being a man involves courage and strength. To be a man, you gotta have the courage to get knocked down and stand back up, not only for yourself, but for your family as well. The standards are different for women.

[liars_paradox]

"just to show the world and society how pissed I am, " But, would society even care?

Dude, I'm sitting here and looking at your many updates and think that YOU need an ass-kicking. Man up, stop being a little girl and grow a pair!

[liars_paradox]

And, lmfao! I'm sorry, but your repeated whining about balls is ridiculous. If you're seriously looking for a logical answer, then you probably won't get one. It's just like why do we associate our feelings with our hearts or any part of our anatomy with our behavior?

Really, it all comes from the brain, not the balls, heart, or gut. But, people tend to talk like that anyways for who knows why.

[Asker]

okay, what's your definition of a real man, a man who has a pair?

[liars_paradox]

Honestly, dude, I don't know or care really. I just don't get why you're so upset like that.

No one fits societies idea of perfection. But, so what? And, maybe you're far from what society's idea of a "real man" but you shouldn't let it get you down. And, you definitely shouldn't want to hurt anyone over it.

I don't know what your deal is, but I just can't relate to your anger and I just don't get why you would be so upset.

[Asker]

because it gets annoying how people, society, life, expect us guys to toughen it up, be strong all the time, by telling us to man up, be a man, grow a pair

[liars_paradox]

But, why are you annoyed by it?

[Asker]

because it's too much pressure, too much work!

[liars_paradox]

Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way. And, to be honest, I'm sorry if I was being a d*** with my initial comments. I imagine that you don't like the fact that things don't work themselves in your favor, at least when it relates to things like this. I know, it sucks that things work the way that they do, but you can't put too much thought into it.

[Asker]

women are allowed to be passive, men are not

[qwertykeyboardirldub]

Repeat the following the min I can pay my bills with your opinions is the min your opinion matters

[Anonymous]

There are no rules on how to be a man or woman. Who imposed these rules on you?

[Anonymous]

yeah I'd say we girls have it easier in that part of life

[Anonymous]

Yes, poor you not having gender roles thrust upon you from infancy.

[Asker]

why should have they been thrust upon me from infancy?

[Opinion Owner]

Terrible syntax.

What I'm trying to say is that women have social expectations pushed on them from the time we're born. We are told we are supposed to act and be a certain way, just the same as men. At least men are only expected to act like "men" after they go through puberty.

[Asker]

yeah well I hate how it has to be like this

[Opinion Owner]

Then don't follow it. It's your own choice, ultimately.

[Anonymous]

What Seperates a girl from a woman?

These days just a career and getting her first period

[dwiller943]

Because society is easily brainwashed.

[Anonymous]

AMEN BRO!, YOU NAILED IT!

[socalgamehater2006]

tell me about it