So you've been dumped by your ex boyfriend. You might have seen it coming or it might have hit you like a brick..
This is my first hand experience... This is what you can do but wh8lst maintaining ypur dignity and value...
1. THE BREAK UP
Whatever you do. Don't beg, plead, get angry or be spiteful. Bite your tongue and walk away gracefully.
See the my take on how you do this 10 Steps on How to Deal With a Break-Up Like a Boss <3></3>
2. NO CONTACT
The No contact rule is essential. I've seen many online dating people say 30 days yada yada yada... I did no contact for 3 weeks. After the third week I understood why we broke up and was ready to talk to him without bursting into tears. If you are not at this point then you need a longer No contact period.
3 weeks is also the time frame it takes for for a man to reach the "missing" phase of the breakup.
Unless you were nasty to him, screamed or acted out then give it 4-5 weeks of no contact.
3. THE REACHING OUT
I've read so much stuff on 'Don't reach out if you were dumped' and honestly I believed it myself... And then I relised it takes 2 to have a relationship, 2 people to argue, 2 people to get to the point where the relationship is over. So it shouldn't just be 1 person to reach out.
It's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to reach out to the man who dumped you as long as you have done the no contact period first.
4. HOW TO REACH OUT BY TEXT
You must be at the point where if you receive a negative response from him then you can handle it..If you not at this point you need more time.
The lines of communication need to be opened up in a casual way. A text is a great way of reaching out. It's not formal and there's no chance of tripping up on your words.
See the my take on communication openers to send to your ex by text... How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❤
4.A. OR REACH OUT BY CALLING HIM
If you can compose yourself enough then call him. Do it when you know he'll be home and relaxed, he'll be more likely to talk to you then.
You need a reason to call though to open up the lines of communication. And then usually you ask how each other are and the conversation should flow.
For example:
"Hey, I wanted to take a friend to that restaurant you showed me and I can't remember what it was called...". The conversation should flow after this.
AND THEN APOLOGISE...By now you know your part to play in the break up so you'll have something to apologise for. Be sincere and he should have reflected too so he'll be ready to apologise for his part in the break up.
AND THEN..
Ask him if he wants to see you. He will say yes or maybe, if he says yes then let him take the lead and arrange where and when. If he says maybe then curteously leave the conversation there (If he's not ready to meet up yet then don't push it). He'll decide if he wants to or not and will let you know.
WHAT IF he's ANGRY OR doesn't WANT TO TALK? Unless he really doesn't want to talk to you or is still angry at you then he should start to talk. You'll be able to tell if he's guarded and then you should leave the conversation there. Kindly thank him for the information he's given you and curteously end the call.
5. BEFORE THE MEET UP
Do not initiate contact before meeting up with him.. you've made plans so don't pester him. He needs to miss you during this time.. your meeting up with him, if you constantly text/ call then he'll have nothing to miss or look forward to.
If he texts you keep it to short replies. Try not to talk about the break up or the relationship especially hurtful or painful memories.
6. CRUNCH TIME
The meet up- This is not a date, view it as 2 friends meeting up after a long time apart. Be yourself, the purpose is to reignite his attraction to you.
Laugh, smile and fill him in on the great things you've been up to. DO NOT talk about the relationship or break up unless he wants to talk about it... but don't get too heavy into this subject at the moment.
This is when you have to re- attract him, The break up questions can come later.
7. TAKE IT SLOW
You must relise that your old relationship is dead so it can't go back to what it was. Plus that old relationship broke down so why would you want it back anyway...
you need to DATE YOUR EX AGAIN ultimately.
BE happy, sweet and the girl he fell for all that time ago but this must be through fresh eyes. Go to new places together but only a few hours at a time...leave him wanting more.
8. LET HIM NOW CHASE YOU
Just like at the beginning he chased you. Well now your ex will be inspired to chase you again, but harder.
If you've followed the above and showed him what he's lost he will most likely fight tooth and nail for another chance. This is essential that you let him chase you at this stage otherwise if your chasing him and will push him away.
THIS IS WHERE IT MATTERS THAT HE DUMPED YOU..LET HIM WIN YOU BACK. If you don't let him win you back then you are not seen as a prize to be won back. Be strong, take it slow and get your love back but he needs to think it's his idea. If he doesn't think it's his idea to get back together, it will not last.
9. HE MUST THINK IT'S HIS IDEA TO GET BACK TOGETHER...By letting him chase you, he will think it's his idea.
💜 💜 💜 💜
Your probably thinking this won't work..
Well, follow every step properly and it will. This is my first hand experience...
My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago because we argued a lot, asked for his stuff back and blocked me on Facebook. I thought it was hopeless to ever get him back. Now...he's told me he still loves me and misses me like crazy and were meeting in 2 days..
Good luck x</p>
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