Extremely depressed boyfriend broke up with me and said he isn't in love with me anymore. Please help?

[Anonymous]

We dated for a year and had the most amazing, loving relationship, all our friends and families agreed. We hardly fought, were absolute best friends, understood each other more than we thought possible and said we were each other's dream bf/gf. He was diagnosed with depression 3 months into the relationship and it's fluctuated ever since then, sometimes getting really bad where he's very distant but he always snapped out of it. He sees a therapist but only every other week. We normally see each other every weekend but haven't seen each other in a few weeks because he was grounded for a while and a few days ago he had a breakdown because he was more depressed than ever and we went on a break to clear his head. He's been even more distant with his friends too. Today he broke up with me because he said he hasn't felt in love with me the last few weeks (same time he was extremely depressed and hadn't seen each other) but he said I was the most special person, he cares about me more than anyone, doesn't know what he's going to do without me. He said he hasn't been happy with us even though he said there aren't any problems and he hasn't been happy with anything lately. He said hed want to try again of he gets better because he wants me in his life and still sees me in his future. People said that since he's so depressed he isn't able to feel his love and that he'll come back when he straightens out. Just days before all this mess he'd say how he's never leaving and loves me so much and I'm his best friend.

It's the depression talking and he'll come back

This is permanent

[beesod]

As someone who has suffered, I can guarantee you that he is just not thinking straight.

Bear this in mind and focus on just being there for him. Most likely he thinks so little of himself that he feels he is doing you a favour. Don't give up, be positive, but respect like any illness, there is always a possibility he will never turn around. That doesn't mean you can't play a part in helping him though and there won't be many people as close to him as you to help.

Don't accept no for an answer, persist with him and be there for him. Even if it's just as a friend it doesn't matter!

[Asker]

Thank you so much, this is what my professor told me and it really makes this easier knowing that it's the depression talking, not his real self

[Xelebrum]

If he really didn't love you, he wouldn't want to make it work with you in the future. Depression really takes over one's life, that shit is crippling. It makes you think what you don't want to think and act in a way you never thought you would act. He really does love you, he's just in a very bad spot right now emotionally.

[shadowlegend]

He obviously has issues to deal wih and he can't focus on a relationship or be dedicated to one whilst he is struggling.

[Yogue7]

It's hard to say since I don't believe in falling in and out of love as some people do. However, I do think that if he truly is depressed that he may not know what he wants. The real question is how long do you want to put your life on hold for him to figure out what he wants in his. Also you may want to consider your willingness to take care of him in this condition for the rest of his life if you were to decide to stay with him and he never got over this. Ask yourself if you wasn't able to take care of himself for any reason, would you stay with him and take care of him.

[whiitey]

I am In a VERY similar situation. I think his emotions are everywhere, only time will tell though.

[Grant101]

I'd like to say A but it does look more like B

[Cowboy6666]

How can I say that he 'really'. loves you?