Me and my boyfriend have been going out for over a year now. A little background story on our relationship we are a mixed race couple I'm biracial and he is Asian. His parents automatically hated me once they realized i was tan in color. I don’t have much family i was adopted and bounced from home to home so this has always bothered me but I agreed to still stay because i loved him. While going to nursing school and juggling a relationship i find it hard to give him all my time. When we are together he is extremely smothering, jealous and its like all of me just needs to revolve around him. So far he always find issues and breaks up with me every 2-3 months. He claims its not planned it’s just that his needs aren’t being met. He has made me delete my Facebook while he keeps his because looking at comments from other guys on my photos from when we weren’t together makes him extremely turned off by me. I can’t even post a funny meme without him feeling like I'm begging for male attention. Mind you he had me block him just for him to watch me off a fake page. Let me also add that i suffer from bpd/anxiety due to childhood trauma. I already have some abandonment issues so being broken up with every few months because someone is trying to find problems for whatever reason is not helping my mental health at all. I am over this i rather be alone if this what being in a relationship is all about. I totally failed this semester because I’m freaking depressed and i need to pick up my grades asap or this will all be a waste of time and money.
How can I break things off?
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That sounds like a super stressful relationship. I don't blame you for wanting out after all that drama every few months. Your boyfriend sounds way too controlling and jealous - like making you delete Facebook but keeping his own? That's some total bs right there.
And I can only imagine how much worse it's making your mental health issues to have him constantly breaking up with you over tiny stuff. You don't need that negativity in your life. Nursing school is hard enough as it is without all that extra baggage.
I'd say just rip the bandaid off - send him a text or call him and be like "look man, this ups and downs thing isn't working for me anymore. I need to focus on my studies without the stress of wondering if you'll dump me next week over nothing. We're done." Then block him so he can't argue or guilt trip you.
You don't owe him any explanation after how he's been treating you. Just do what's best for you and your future. You'll feel so much better once that weight is lifted off your shoulders, trust me. You got this!
You tell him he's not what who or what you want, and NEED, in your life. You DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY to him. Just tell him you're done, and block his access to you.
Now back to you. You're letting one issue that you have create a half dozen more issues in your life. It's difficult to deal with anxiety, I know, but you have to choose your own mental health above anything else, and he's not part of that.
You're on a very good career course, but it too can be stressful and you're already dealing with anxiety. You don't need any more stressful situations to overcome, and that's all he is. There's no love emanating from him. Dump him immediately. You'll feel a huge weight off your shoulders that will FAR exceed any sense of abandonment.
the simplest way would just be to tell him you want to end things