Should I go to dinner with my ex boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone so my boyfriend left me 2 weeks ago for personal problems. He was tired, sad, and felt bored. He swore I was not the issue and has made an effort to stay friends. the first week of being friends we hung out, held hands, kissed etc. It was like we were dating with no label and we both agreed it needed to stop. So we did. He didn't know what he wanted, he said he felt numb and depressed. A few nights ago he said leaving me made him feel even worse and that I was not the issue at all but that he knew he couldn't get into a relationship with me until he figured out his issue. He said he wanted to prioritize his mental health. I was super upset but also really understanding. I have gone minimal contact with him for about 2 days now and have done my best to give him space and distance to figure out his life. Today he invited me to dinner, said he had an extremely hard day and wanted a hug and to see me. I understand we broke up but we have love for each other and he has stayed loyal completely anyways. Do I go and risk getting my hopes up? Do I go and remind myself its just a friend and not expect anything. Or, do I say no and risk him being upset or thinking i've moved on.

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

I say don’t go. You are making it incredibly difficult to create any real semblance of a “just friends” relationship. Ask yourself, how can you be friends with someone you still want a relationship with? How do you healthily support, hang out with, vent to, etc a person that you literally just broke up with, were kissing last week and still have feelings for? You can’t, and you know that. Telling yourself you need to support and be there for him because he’s struggling with his mental health does nothing for you. It’s just an excuse to hang on, and you know for a fact that going to dinner with him will only keep your hopes and feelings alive. Why do that to yourself? Right now he’s putting you through the emotional wringer, has had zero time to change and needs some real space to get himself together. You also need time to accept the breakup and stop internalizing his talking points. Breakups are hard as shit, especially when you still love the person. But everything you guys are doing on hits the reset button on your effort to heal, over and over again. Be strong, wish him well and create some real space. Don’t allow him to straddle the fence anymore, especially with your heart on the line.

[Guy13]

I would have gone just to see where his heart is. Maybe he was going to apologize and after some separation had time to get things in order. And, he hoping that could get back together. How would that strike you?