How does a shy/inexperienced guy break the touch barrier?

A major reason I always end up in the friend zone is because I never break the touch barrier, even when the girl gives me big hints (keeps "accidentally" bumping into me slightly while walking together). I guess it's because I don't know what I'm supposed to do ... so can anyone give me some good ways an inexperienced guy can break the touch barrier? Thanks.

Also ... is it acceptable to break the touch barrier when you're not on a date and just hanging out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If a girl is giving you "the signs" ...there are discreet ways to break the touch barrier. if you're on a date and taking her to dinner, you will always open the door for her. By letting her through 1st, you will be the one to open the door and then touch her back (near the small of her waist) to lead her through. If she's "bumping" into you, its okay to put your hand on her arm (like you're feeling her muscle but not grabbing) and say something like "oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there" ...or whatver comes to mind.

    If you're really close (like in a cab), its ok to just relax and let your knees touch her knees. Or even put your hand on her thigh or knee.

    Bottom line: The girl doesn't have coodies. She's not going to think you're a perv if you touch her. Human contact is normal. You gotta be a "take charge" guy. That's what women want. A guy who can make the decisions and be "a man". Be confident in yourself and make it do what it do.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well... I mean, it depends on what you mean by "Touch". MY definition of breaking the touch barrier is like just hugging them or something, in which case, OF COURSE, it's fine to "break" the barrier when you aren't on a date.

    When you guys are talking and are about to say goodbye, just say something like; "Well, bye (insert name)" and open your arms for a hug. SIMPLE, and if she's not a COMPLETE and utter nun (I'm talking including the robes and the habit) then she'll hug you.

    But, I just wanted to say, just because she's "bumping into me slightly" - that doesn't mean anything. She could really just be accidnetally bumping you. I do that occasionally when walking. Maybe it's just a girl-thing.

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  • When walking next to her, put your arm around her shoulder or waist. You can have her walk in front of you and put your hand on her back to kind of 'guide' her. (Don't give her a high five. Ever.) Movies at your house (or hers) are a perfect time to break any touch barriers!

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  • CAN'T STAND GUYS WHO IM NOT DATING WHO BREAK THE TOUCH BARRIER. Touching its NOT an acceptable way to guage interest. Open your mouth, use your words wisely and guage interest. Ask what she's doing on the wkd and try to hint around.

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What Guys Said 1

  • By forcing yourself to do it.

    High five her sometimes, but make it a gentler high-five.

    Or hug her when you guys are parting ways, nothing fancy, nice and quick if you want.

    Pat/rub her back around the shoulder blade when your giving her sympathy, either for something real or as a joke.

    If she likes you back she'll break the touch barrier herself, a hand on your arm, or your lap for a few seconds, resting her head on your shoulder, hugging you, that sorta jazz.

    If I am right it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable right?

    Just force yourself to make those small little touch gestures. DO NOT TOUCH HER IN INNAPROPRIATE PLACES.

    Sorry, I know you have no intention but just making sure you know.

    The arms, shoulders and back are good places to start, and if your brave above the knee (like trying to get her attention or show her something, a gentle tap or shake).

    Most of all it just takes confidence, you know what to do, you just need to make yourself do it next time you like a girl and your getting along. :)

    Good luck.

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    • LOL, high fives do NOT work. I agree with another girl's response above. It does nothing for us.

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