Ex told me he misses me and now he's ignoring me?

[Anonymous]

My ex boyfriend came out and told me that he still had very strong feelings for me still and that he misses me a lot (via text). I have a new boyfriend now... but he still seemed eager to share that information with me. He may have been drinking... but I'm not certain...

But the thing is... he hasn't spoken to me since.. I've tried to talk to him about it... and haven't gotten a response... is he regretting what he said to me given the situation ? I still have have some feelings for him...but I'm happy in the relationship I'm in right now.

Did he actually mean it? or was it just a weak moment? Id really like to discuss it with him but he seems embarrassed or something or maybe he just feels stupid since I am in a new relationship and decided to cut off contact again... there's so many possibilities...

what do you guys think?

[Cluelesswithmen]

It could be a momentary lapse of weakness due to the fact that you are in a new relationship. Whether he is embrassed or not to discuss it, that is all on him not you. If he wants to talk about it he shouldn't be beating around the bush about it because as time goes on you are only going to have more appreciation for this new relationship rather than the old one. So to increase his chances of having some type of relationship with you, he should be getting on this.

He could have very well meant what he said to you. But does he have the guts to pick up the phone and tell you in person? You are right it could be many possibilities. Maybe its a case where he doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you. He could be embarrassed but we all can be when we put our heart out on our sleeve. Again, whatever reason it is, it's going to be on your terms not his. Don't get me wrong don't be mean to the guy, no one wants that especially if there are still feelings there. But be strong and confident (nothing sexier than that). You are not a woman on a string or a play "thing". If he is just trying to be friendly but deep down is hurting, this might not be a good situation either, because you will be drawn to him by, well pity, pretty much. A man would never go back or be with a woman out of pity so don't do that to him. Hear him out but remember you don't really owe him anything.

Sometimes walking away with no communication can be best because if you continue to keep in contact with an ex you run the risk of both parites or one person getting hurt or your relationship between you two may never truly end...

Good luck to you.

[toulouse]

Hey what do you think - how can you tell if a guy is talking to you or hanging out or just being close out of pity... I would not consciously be with anyone - friends or otherwise out of pity.. I am careful myself not to do this to other people because I do not want to disrespect them.

I want to be sure tihs thing is not out of pity , the reason suspect it just causehe seems sad whilehe is talking to me, lor he ignores me. Which is weird when you don't want to hurt someone, but anyways, WDYT?

[Cluelesswithmen]

I'm going to be blunt with you and mean no disrespect.

Ur in a new relationship but not once did you say you say that you were happy. Ur still askin what ur ex thinks... So you really haven't moved on either. There can be love between 2 people but in order for us 2 keep loving them we have 2 let them go. He is ur ex for a reason. Only you can decide how you want him to love you. Ask yourself this, how do you want him to remember u? Find out who can really make you happy ex or new guy? Then talk 2 that guy and tell em

[CakeGirl02]

I think that if you're happy in this relationship it's really not necessary to talk to your ex about missing you. It's natural to miss an ex after a break up and it's also naturally to really miss them once they have moved on to someone else. It's that selfish part of you that all of a sudden wants the person back because you can't bare the thought of your ex with someone else.

If he truly missed you and really wanted you back he would have grown a set and said something. The fact that he hasn't speaks volumes. If you're happy with this new guy, then see where it goes. I'm sure you miss your ex too but you cannot ignore that you two did break up for a reason! Don't cheat yourself out of a good thing because an ex is lonely and sad that you've moved on.

[butterfly_girl]

Personally I think if you're happy in the relationship that you're in now and you don't want to get back with your ex then does it really matter whether he meant it or not?

If I were in your shoes and I was happy with the guy that I'm with then I'd ignore him even if he wanted to talk about it, you have to think about how your boyfriend would feel if he found out that you guys were talking about having feelings for each other.

On the other hand if you don;t want to stay with your boyfriend and think that maybe you want to get back with your ex then talk to him about it but you should either let your boyfriend know first or break it off with him because its not fair on his part.

I hope this helps

xoxox

[themastaplan]

number one, you're probably in a rebound relationship right now...you probably got into this relationship to get your ex off your mind...rebound relationships USUALLY don't work, sure you're happy, now, and this new guy makes you feel good...but this doesn't mean you don't feel for your ex still(as you mentioned)

anyways he probably doesn't really know what to say, have you told him that you miss him as well or was it kinda like "oh, ok" I mean youve got to show you feel the same, in a way, if you're interested in trying with him sometime in the future then cool, but don't lead him on or keep him on a string.

the way you put your questions above it seems you aren't over him completely and you think there could be a chance? or maybe ur just curious as to why he said it...bottome line he said it because he misses you and still cares about you...you need to handle this maturly and figure out a way to keep both of you ok with the current situation and let him know if its meant to be it'll be...

dont jump to either side right away (your current boyfriend or your ex) you seem a little confused about where you stand as far as your feelings...its all about how you FEEL around the person you're with and if they make you happy...you'll know that "feeling" when you feel it lol

i don't know how much I rambled on or helped but I hope this gives you some answers...if you need anything else I'm a message away! GL!

[Anonymous]

I was recently in an identical situation. I think when you miss someone, and want them back it can be really hard to figure out what to do. From a guy's perspective the only reason to stay in touch would be in the hope that in the event that you're relationship status changes you might have a second chance.

I told her how I felt, it hurt a lot having to face that my second chance may never come. Even if it did how much time would I waste hurting over it, how many opportunities am I passing up? I cut off all contact, time to let it go. Which really upset her. Actually if you could explain that to me I would appreciate it. If you are with someone new and like it how upsetting could it actually be that an ex-boyfriend who cared a lot about you as given up? Weird for me, cause when I'm with someone new that I really like I couldn't care less about my ex's.

And even to this day she still try's to contact me, and we chit chat online but only after not speaking to her for a while. I'm still not comfortable talking to her, even online. Funny thing is the more I talk to her the more I realize that I'm not even sure I like her as a friend.

[Opinion Owner]

When you say ignore do you mean he won't speak to you at all, or you always have to talk to him first, and in the end you get a bunch of one word answers

[Asker]

We had several friendly online conversations before he confessed he still had feelings and now that he told me that he flat out won't respond to me. I will say hey? and get nothing. when I say ignore I mean ignore lol. from your answer I'm just going to take it as he's doing what you did just cutting contact and letting it go given that I'm in a new relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, my ex used to send the 'hey' IM all the time. And I ignored to the best of my ability. Even after explaining to her why we couldn't keep talking it made no difference to her... which really made it a lot worse because not only was she not with me, she wouldn't let go of me either. And to tell you the truth, I would still take her back... stupid as at that sounds

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know if this is the case, but if you are having a really hard time letting go of him there are things you can do to help with that without compromising your current relationship. I think saying a final goodbye can really help. Sometimes you just have to say goodbye to someone to have the closure you need, so you can make the most of things to come. Sometimes it does the opposite and you realize they are right for you. Either way the confusion is gone and life can go on :)

[bennynthejets]

I think that by you wanting to even discuss "it" with him is going to send him the signal you are interested in seeing where it could go...again. If you're happy with the new guy then totally dismiss the past guy. Look forward. Love the one your with (song).

[Elcristoph]

an ex is an ex..plain and simple, I know it hurts but chances are he may have been drunk or somthing along those lines. my advice is to cut of contact with him and focus on you and what you have now... its best for everyone in the long run

Time is the only thing that heals these wonds and you/he needs to let it do its slow and often painfull job..

[seriouslyfrustrated]

I think he had a moment of weakness. My ex did the exact same thing although we talk on occasion. He admitted to me that he did still care but not enough to get back together. And when he was drinking the feelings where more intense. I think if you are really happy where you are at you should just forget it even happened, why possibly mess up a good thing.

[sumina7]

You are happy in your current relationship and your ex belongs to the past. So, do not spend too much time thinking about what he means. It is not fair to the present guy. Also, it is not right for your ex to say all these things when he knows that you are in a new realtionship now.

[Reeses-pieces777]

he's an ex for a reason. there is always the possibility to get back but maybe he's hurting because he realizes he made a mistake.

He probably is lonely and missing you. He probably doesn't have anyone to talk to or he doesn't like to talk about it, but he needs some time to get over you.

[Anonymous]

i think he is embarrased by sharing that information knowing you have moved on. Or maybe he didn't get the reaction he expected after he told you that and he's feel like an ass. but leave him be. You have moved on and you odviously don't feel the way he feels for you ...so if I were you who cares just let it go and leave him be.

[Yeahhbro]

I think he is just really hurt that he said those things, he is really embarrassed, I am in kind of that situation right now actually. I was hitting on her and I was a little embarrassed and angry that she was playing with me or with another dude.

[Gregs]

Guys have weak moments, its true, this might have been one

[KayBear]

dont stress over it. I learned the hard way I broke up with the guy I was with to go back to the guy I lost it to and he didn't wana date just have sex

[dwayne21]

he is emberrased he said it nd thinks what he did was stupid

[selbelina]

He's just jealous and wanted a little pick-me-up by contacting you. I wouldn't take it as sincere. Stick with your current boyfriend and forget it.