He doesn’t want to keep in touch because it keeps”reopening the wound”: was he talking about my wounds, or about his?

[Anonymous]

We promised to let some time pass and than remain friends as we broke up. But he than always refused to talk to me. It was a mutual break up because he moved to the other side of the world, nothing bad ever happened between us. But the break up was handled badly, he was like “ok bye” and completely cut me off.

I took the break up terribly hard while he immediately started dating someone new.

I reached out and we had a discussion about how the break up was badly handeled, than he told me he doesn’t want to keep in touch because it “keeps reopening the wound”. I thought he was speaking about my wounds exclusively as I was suffering a lot and I told him, and he was having fun with his new girl. About his handling the break up badly he said “what’s done is done I can do nothing about it now” (apologize maybe?).

I honestly find it weird that he didn’t want to talk anymore as he was the one who insisted he wanted us to remain friends. I wonder if maybe he was talking about his wounds as well not just mine, which by the way never healed so there isn’t much to “re”open. Was he implying that he suffered too? Because it doesn’t seem so to me.

[4pple]

He means that when he talks to you it reminds him of all the happiness he had in the relationship with you, and knowing that is now over hurts him. That's likely why he immediately looked for someone else, to take his mind off of you as it just kept hurting him to think back at everything that is now gone.
I'm the same, it hurts me to just think back at all the happy moments, knowing they're gone forever and will eventually be meaningless, and the best way to get over would be for me to find someone new, but I personally would rather feel the pain, as replacing my ex that quickly (like my ex did) would feel like I don't value what we had, which would make me feel terrible.

[Dim1213]

Sounds normal you were both hurt and he can't just be friends with you emotionally. He feels he needs more.

[Asker]

More what? Space? He’s on the other side of the world. He was an important person for me I wanted us to stay friends

[Dim1213]

He needs to be romantic with you. He can't just be friends.

[Asker]

He said he wanted to be friends. He also is the one who wanted to break up so...

[EmmaMary]

I would imagine he was referring to his own.

[Asker]

He never acted as he had suffered or cared one bit after we broke ip

[EmmaMary]

How he acted and what was going on inside are two entirely different things.

[Asker]

He was dating someone new a month later. And it wasn’t even a rebound, they have been together almost one year now...

[EmmaMary]

So stop feeling sorry yourself for once, and try and start feeling happy for him.
He very obviously has moved on, you need to do the same.

[Asker]

Yes he moved on, that’s the point. Why can’t we be friends than? Why would that reopen wounds? It’s exactly what my question was about.

[EmmaMary]

Because he made perfectly clear from the start of the break up that he did not wish to remain friends or whatever.
Why is that so difficult for you to understand and comprehend?
It's now been a year he's gone, he's no longer in your life nor ever will be again.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHG.

[BigRob420]

Yes. Men don't express emotions other than anger and being cocky.

[Asker]

True 🤦🏻‍♀️

[otw1269]

Rim dude ur better off I promise u

[otw1269]

U guys started this fucking shit again so the bitch can thank u for that shit

[eagle1951]

only his

[Asker]

Why? He told me he was doing well and was having fun with new girlfriend I told him I was doin like shit... I don’t think he ever suffered about it

[eagle1951]

he's getting everything he wants.

[Asker]

Clearly he is