How to move on when an ex fling still calls and texts regularly?

so I dated this girl for like 5 months. when we first hooked up I knew that she had just gotten out of a relationship and made note, but things were going so well that I soon pushed that notion to the back. anyway its been almost 3 months since we last hooked up but I still have strong feelings for her and can't seem to move on. throughout things would be going good for a while and then whack, she ignores me for a few days but then when she replies will be like ohh I miss u, I can't wait to c u...she will start responding again calling me frequently texting then the same thing over and over again.. its like she's keeping me at arms reach for some reason when I get to close she pushes me away, and when I fall to far she reels me back in.. things were still like this when we were hooking up but now we don't have a physical relationship and we haven't for about 3 months but yet she still calls me and texts me regularly.. it just confuses the sh*t out of me.. we were steady hooking up and then I didn't see her for a month but she still keep light contact, then after about exactly a month we started seeing each other and talking regularly, but nothing physical. still when I don't call for a few days shell start texting me how much she misses me and recently started calling me love. like "love you want to come home with me tonight"...she ended up blowing me off that night but has been calling me love which is new and putting hearts in her texts as love instead of writing it. she knows how I feel about her that I want to b with her and that I care about her and all that sh*t so its all just really confusing. we were never in an official relationship but my feelings were always there, and it seemed that hers were to. I just don't know how to move on from her when I start to she starts saying and doing what I want from her like shell stop dissing me and breaking plans for a while then as she gets me back to where she wants me it starts all over again. but if we don't have sex anymore and she know that I like her and want to b with her why would she say things like I miss you, I wanna c u, calling me love and having long phone conversations for hours calling everyday checking in with what's going on in my life talking about wanting to settle down and starting a family within the next couple of years.. why is she talking to me about this stuff, why is she consistently calling and texting but nothing physical? I don't know what to do anymore, I'm more confused now than ever and have no clue what she really wants from me. I would think it would b awkward to chill with someone that I use to have a physical relationship with knowing that that person has strong feelings for me and wants to be with me if I didn't feel that way.. any help or opinions especially from girls would be greatly appreciated


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude, I just got out of a relationship where just before it had started, that's what was happening. I'm telling you for your own sake, if you want a serious relationship then start it asap, otherwise end it now. My relationship with a girl like yours ended because we were having problems, I'm not going to get into that though, it doesn't have much/anything to do with this problem. She's being a girl and girls enjoy saying things like love and fantasizing about a happy future with kids and a good job and a perfect husband. The best analogy for it that I can think of is that it's like imagining winning the lottery but not buying a ticket.

    You've got to lay it on the line and if she isn't really interested in you and won't go into a relationship, you're a toy to her. Maybe not intentionally, but you are. She'll play with you and have some fun but she'll get bored with you, maybe break you. And if she loses you she'll be upset about it, maybe cry a little, but then she'll just find a new boy toy to play around with and be fine again. More likely, she already has other toys and plays with them too. She'll still cry about losing you but it wouldn't matter, she's still playing with someone.

    If you do lay it out and she says no, you need to cut her out of your life. Maybe not forever but that would be for the best. Block her cellphone number from your phone, block her facebook, email, myspace, do not drive by her house, do not hang around people who you might see her with, etc etc. It hurts but it's got to happen sooner or later and the quicker it happens, the sooner you can find someone genuinely interested in being with you.

    I haven't mentioned if you try and she does want a relationship now. I'd say that I think that's what will happen but there was another girl I knew who I tried this with and she said no to it (it was long distance but we still talked about that stuff anyway). So anyway, if you ask and she accepts and you start going out, there's no more problem. You solved it, she's yours.

    Whatever happens, do it fast and good luck

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What Girls Said 1

  • To me, it sounds like she is playing you. She obviously likes you a bit if she keeps coming back to you and keeps up with these head games. If she wanted to be with you/liked you enough she would not be playing games like this, you've already had sex so the whole 'taking it slow' thing is out the window. So is playing hard to get. If you want to move on/see how she really feels. Try ignoring her for a change, play the game right back and see how she reacts. If that is not your cup of tea, then just tell her to stop with the games. This is not high school and you are not into the bipolar vibes you are getting from her and her texts. If that also sounds like something you are not interested in doing, tell her how you feel and then let her know that this back and forth thing with her is not fun for you and you do not want to be part of it anymore. She needs to pick. It is unfair to drag on and play games. But in all honesty, I think she just likes the attention you give her and she likes that fact that you are always texting her/there when she texts you. I think she is playing you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your question itself alone is sufficient to answer, as your long and complicated story doesn't help you anything much. A wise advice for you is STOP everything right now and move on your new life ahead of you by simply ignoring her totally and make no response and co-operation in any way. This bugger will evenutally die out and stop bother you at all afterward - it takes time.

    Besides, there are real and better gals outside waiting for you and you will surely enjoy this beautiful relationship in long term.

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