What is it when your girlfriend said A but do B?

[Anonymous]

Me (32) and my girlfriend (27) was together for 1 year and 4 months and that was a serious relationship. She told me that she's in love with me, my maturity and feel safe being with me because i treated her right and dare to put her in her place if she acting up. She said she didn't like younger guys that blow up her phone every time, telling shallow stuffs and they were annoying and she will never date guys same age or younger than her. We're compatible in many aspects like thought on marriage, life, and sex but that doesn't mean we didn't have arguments.

One beautiful day out of the blue (we argued a week before that), she texted me and wanna break up, she gave no reasons behind it but just wanna end it quick. I said fine and never contacted her since then.

7 months later she's in the relationship with another dude that was the same age as her and based on what her friends told me that the guy has the most common traits of a needy beta male. They flaunted their "happy couple" photos all over social media like they were the happiest people on earth. One of her friend still wondered how could my ex girlfriend left me for a guy like that. Why would she behave like that or my ex was just acting and being fake the entire time being with me? Have you ever seen someone like this before?

Updates

+1 y

About the Beta Alpha thing it was from her female friends, not mine. I didn't even know about it.

[Anonymous]

Seems like she is a little immature. A lot of people mistake the rush of falling in love with actual love. Falling for someone new the long chats the exciting new experiences is always run. You get a rush that you definitely lose after the relationship is more stable. Of coarse if you’re mature enough you realize that you lose that fire but you gain comfort, security, a sense of belonging and so many other incredible things. The sad part is that it happens to every relationship and soon enough the spark will run of with this new guy too. But by then it will more than likely be too late for your relationship. It sucks I’ve had it happen to me. But you mustn’t put the blame on you she was either looking for something you didn’t have or more than likely chasing an unsustainable feeling. But it’s best to know the truth. My ex did eventually come back but I couldn’t forgive the betrayal. And I don't know if it was about him being with another girl but more about how he made me feel about myself. For a long time I felt broken like I wasn’t good enough and like I’d never find anyone. It took me a while to see his actions really had a lot more to do with him than me.

[Asker]

I agree with you on the part where she's being immature. Yes she's like that and she needed a lot of attention from me and super jealous sometimes. But I am the kind of guy who would focus on my career and it's my top priority. Maybe because i didn't give her enough attention so she sought for it from someone else. The thing was she didn't understand that I have other things in life to deal with. I did spend quality time with her every week but seemed like not enough. I partly knew just by listening from her friends that the new guy is like super needy and rubbing himself to her face 24/7 and she seems like it a lot. I'm not heart broken or anything negative by the way i'm totally fine. Thanks for your insight.

[fonduegirl]

No one who's way past a teenager does that. Are you sure it was sudden?

[Asker]

i had a feeling that she was a bit different around our last 2 months. i've seen way more immature girls around her age tho, and my mom who is 60 sometimes still acting like a child lol.

[fonduegirl]

So it my be your faulty taste in women

[Asker]

she initiated the relationship, she chose me not other way around. How can her being immature and you put the blame on my taste?

[fonduegirl]

That's what you think. Might be you choosing her.

[Anonymous]

i guess she wanted someone who would love her more than a “alpha male”.

[Asker]

but she chose me first and i did love her. The alpha beta thing was from her female friends not mine.

[Opinion Owner]

hmm tastes change. thats all i can really say.. i use to be super into skinnier, quieter guys but now im super into outgoing, loud and lean guys. when a relationship goes south and doesn't work out, it doesn't always mean you did something wrong. sometimes, there's no real answer... she just lost feelings. simple as that. the chances of relationships working out fully are super low ill be honest... sometimes people leave because they feel bored, or maybe they feel suffocated, like theyre losing time to go out and experiment? maybe they found out what they thought they wanted, eg. mature and safe, isn't really what they wanted? beside all this, just remember its no ones fault. dont use relationships to validate yourself. people are complicated, i mean, we dont even understand ourselves! so put two people together and you get something even more confusing... maybe you should try to talk it out genuinely if it bothers you that much but its also why communication is so important... she should have explained it fully so thats on her. either way, thats just my take, im just throwing ideas sorry

[Asker]

Well if it's just that then she did me a favor. Imagine being together for 20 years and one day the woman's "taste" simply changes because she doesn't feel like anymore while her partner has been putting time and effort to build and maintain "the spark" of the relationship all gone to waste. Thank you anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

sorry it didn't work out and i hope it ends up working next time ❤️ relationships are hard so dont be bitter it’s natural and failure is not the end its just the learning curve.

[Asker]

the feeling or taste of my partner is definitely the thing i can not interfere. I just wish once a woman chose her man then she could be more responsible for her choice and don't let her feeling fuck her around and mess thing up. But i understood what you said and thank you again.