How to handle feeling confused?

[Anonymous]

Had an affair for a year &8 mons Both of us are married. I know we are stupid It happened naturally and easily , we both knew each other was married and we took things slow at first. He said at the very beginning he knew we both had a lot to lose we went forward. He got caught several times. We got caught in the very very beginning nothing happened other then some sexy texts back and forth and the wife found them. She called me and said a bunch of hurtful things, I listened to her talk and hung up. When he got home that night she made him call me and tell me to leave him alone. The next day when I got to work he said we aren’t ending this. In the beginning he was attentive and apologized for it after that he did his best to ignore her questions and accusing. Recently things took a turn for the worse. she got distant and rude and eventually she said she can’t be with him but she doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. Friday was there anniversary- he did his best to ignore it. He says leading up to that she has been distant and bitchy at home doesn’t communicate and leaves him alone all day while he’s at work. She posted a video on her fb Friday saying how in love they are. He didn’t like it or comment on it. When I talked to him Friday before he got home I said if shit hits the fan tonight do you still want this and he said yes – he said nothing changes Friday night I noticed I had been unfriended and blocked. Saturday rolls around and he never reaches out. He usually doesn’t talk to me much on the weekends due to her constantly being around and overbearing but he at least sends a small message Late Saturday night I get a message from him asking if I am okay – then he disappears for about 15 mins and she writes that it’s over – that he doesn’t want me she’s still relevant in his life She said that was her talking to me the whole time from the minute. Why would he bait me like that? I still haven’ heard from him. Is this way of telling me it’s over and ghosting me

[IAteTwoFullHams]

That's definitely a chaotic and confusing situation!

On the surface, it looks like, yeah, he's made his decision and he's chosen her over you.

But for all we know she's standing over his shoulder the whole time and making him do that.

I doubt they'll last, but then again, I doubt you two will make it work. Relationships that begin like this rarely if ever have any long-term potential.

[davner]

honestly i hope so. the only reason sheds being bitchy and stuff is cause she's hurt. and i don't need to explain why she got hurt.
stop seeing him and don't think of him, be satisfied with what you have. or if your not satisfied, leave the person you made the vow to. and then live life the way you want it.

i hope you know that this was yours and his fault from the start...
but please, do the right thing ok?

[Anonymous]

not sure how dense you can be. just let it go. leave him and his wife alone. also tell your husband. get a divorce. and then you can act like you're single without hurting peoples lives and families... seriously!

[Guy13]

Perhaps, psychologist would be a good idea? It needs to be over. Ephesians 5 for wife and husband is the basis for marriage counseling. Wouldn’t hurt to read. Search it,

[Avicenna]

Yeah, it's over. Never get involved in stuff like that.

[Iron_Man]

Go to a professional counselor don’t do that again