Break Up & Divorce

My boyfriend of 5 years called me a bitch and a psycho, I don't know what to do?

I was in a bad mood because I missed a call from my doctor for an important appointment and was stressed about it. We were taking out the compost a garbage for garbage day and I told I was putting all the bags in one big bag and he acknowledged me like he was listening. It's not the first time he acknowledges like he's listening and doesen't so I snapped and was shitty about something as small as compost. I just think I sometimes feel invisible. Although, it seems I also do the same thing. I have ADHD so, yeah not going to deny that either. My emotions were valid in the moment but the way I handled it was shitty. When we get angry with each other (we've both experienced a lot of trauma) we trigger each other. He started yelling, I got more triggered things escalated. Then my doctor called and as I'm on the phone he's yelling "let me talk to your doctor!!" "Let me talk to him" because I guess he wanted to know if it was my fault or the doctor's fault that the appointment was missed, I didn't let him, muted my doc and asked him to leave, I was panicking and he was just looking at me so I yelled "leave!!" and he felt like I was just pissed that he wasen't leaving fast enough, during this time I was being dismissive and defensive, but I only yelled after a while of being yelled at and I never call him names. Especially so degrading. He said "fuck you" at one point, yelled at me to "calm the f*ck down." and called me a bitch and a fucking psycho. He was super apologetic after. However, he constantly states how he'd never call a woman even one he doesen't like a bitch because of how degrading it is. He is a good man. But fuck, how could he do it to me so casually? I'm at a loss what to do anymore. I've told him how hurt I am... but I don't know if I can get over this one

My boyfriend of 5 years called me a bitch and a psycho, I don't know what to do?
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