My ex and I had a whirlwind relationship; met and were engaged within about 5 months (in hindsight, OBVIOUSLY not a good idea). I had some trust issues from a previous bad relationship, and I admit I projected onto my ex about him checking out other girls. But only in the sense that if I felt he was checking someone out, I'd call him out on it. I didn't check or go through his phone, keep tabs, nag (unless calling him out/accusing him counts?)... Naturally, this caused arguments, and we'd also argue about other things (I believe he has BPD and so that, I feel, caused a LOT of arguments) and after a few months of arguing all the time I told him we needed to step back and reevaluate bc things were terrible bw us.
A little while later I found out I was pregnant. We tried to make it work and things just got worse, so I started to do some self-reflecting and realized that I had traumas that had not been acknowledged or healed, so I broke up with him; I told him I needed to heal and that we were toxic together in general so things needed to end.
For the past 2 years we have tried to co-parent, and it's ok sometimes, but every now and then he'll bring up how I "ruined his life": That I weaponized sex against him[I never used it as a weapon-I stopped having sex with him bc I broke up with him, I don't sleep with people I'm not in a relationship with, plus we had not been in a good place so sex was the last thing we needed to worry about IMO], how I supposedly lied about who I really was at the start of the relationship, and just that I basically "ruined his life".
I've asked him for examples as to how I supposedly did this and he's never very specific but it makes me so angry. I'm not perfect by any means but I don't go around purposefully hurting people and ruining their lives. I've apologized multiple times for the ending of our relationship but I truly feel it was the right thing to do. What can I start to say to him in response when he tells me I ruined his life?
