What do you usually do when you miss your ex?

[Anonymous]

I find myself thinking a lot about him these days. Our breakup was not exactly amicable, and our relationship was not healthy either. I'm planning to work on myself before getting into a relationship with someone, I might when I'm a sophomore or a junior in college. I do think I'm over him, but I miss what we had as friends. Is that normal? I recently noticed that he has me unblocked, and I unblocked him about a month ago. I do not want to text him now and I certainly do not want anything romantic with him.

[NathanDavis]

I do not exactly miss my exes because well, I am friends with them... so a lot of the good things we shared, they're still there (the friendship) part, and when it comes to the romantic side of things, I do not miss that and I just "don't think about it"

that's easier to say now of course, after all these years... but in the months after we completed our cycles as a couple, we did wait some time to be in touch again, either intended or because we actually had to go different ways, so yes... it is very normal to miss the dynamics of a relationship, whether good or a bad relationship, it was, and they were part of our lives, so that takes some time to get our of your system, could be more or less time, that all depends on many circumstances and the context of how the relationship was and how did it end as well

in my personal opinion... if the relationship was bad or worse, mostly bad... then it is a terrible and bad idea to get back to any of it because most likely, we do idealize the situation, we can fool ourselves into thinking that all the good things even if little or few, they will come back and be all great again, and that all the bad things will not happen again... we idealize things so we do not realize that we're just going back to the same toxicity and well, that never ends well

I value my peace and my personal well being the most, so I just don't go back to any relationship or person that was toxic before, I just would not risk a lot of myself AGAIN for a little bit of idealization that most likely, it will not be real in the first place, lol

[Asker]

you're right, but I have no romantic feelings for him.. he was a really good friend before we started dating, I just want our friendship back. I don't know if that makes sense hahaha. The breakup was just really ugly though. but now that I think more of it, it most probably might not be a wise idea for me to contact him again considering I was always anxious when we were dating, may not be a good idea to be friends either

[NathanDavis]

the thing about friendships, and relationships and people as well is that... we're dynamic, and they're dynamic, this means that we do change or adjust, sometimes a bit, a little, and sometimes a lot

also, both people and relationships are complex too, and sometimes complicated, so there is always more about to them (and also us) relationships and people

so yes, he might have had good things about him as a friend, and there might have been good things about the friendship with him but that is just a fraction... truth is that there are also bad things about him and toxic, and also bad things about the friendship which were also toxic

so, if something good comes with a lot of bad... then that is no longer a good thing, or is not a BETTER thing nor is healthy

the truly good things in life, are mostly good and great, and the little or few bad things about them are tolerable and not a big deal... these are the ones worth

the more dangerous things in life are those who seem to be good and have some good, but they do come with a price, then will make you go through a lot of shitty bad things that will damage you... and these are what people nowadays call toxic, because yes, they are indeed toxic, so...

if you go back to toxic ways with a toxic person... just be aware that you are going to get exactly that... a lot of bad things for a little bit of "good" that it might not be there in the first place, or not again

not wise to idealize thing and ignore the reality of things... we just walk ourselves intro traps

[Asker]

This was so comforting and refreshing to read. You’re wise as hell, honestly.

Do I block him again so that he won’t be able to contact me?

[NathanDavis]

well, that could make things more simple, yes...

it could make you stop thinking about, so that's more ease of mind, and that's very valuable

and it can also help to prevent him from any chance of causing more, any trouble...

sometimes, most times... it is best to just focus on the future, on yourself and the things that are truly going to be worth for you and your life, or as they say... moving on

[William7489]

Two things. First, if it’s really bad I’ll try to talk to somebody about it, because that way I’ll be reminded to play the tape the entire way through the relationship. You have a tendency after a while to romanticize your ex boyfriend or girlfriend and forget all of the problems. Talking it through with another person will help remind you of that. Second, if it’s a fleeting thought or nothing serious, just make yourself active, clean, exercise, and play video games, etc. anything to take your mind off of us those thoughts. Hope that helps.

[rienna888]

I broke up with my ex recently too. He ghosted me 3 weeks ago. I honestly saw it coming but still didn't expect it to happen. In the beginning of the relationship, he seemed so obsessed and constantly wondered if I was cheating. We were very different people, he was a lot more dirty than me, smoked and drank almost everyday. I didn't like that so I would be mean to him, I knew the way I treated him was bad and now I finally lost him and regret it. And I hated how he would expect something from me and I try to do it but when I tell him to do something he never follows. We dated for 2 years.

[melanieeeB]

Process my feelings.
I miss a few people too and I just think about it, write it down in my journal if needed and yeah just feel it but I don't do anything else and keep going on in my life and it's normal to feel that way, at one point he was a part in your life and I'm sure you had beautiful moments together but I'm also sure there was a reason why it ended too

[PamelaRivers]

It is normal to miss the good parts you had as friends. To answer the other question, I remind myself how he acted the day he threw me out of his house and why he broke up with me. He made it clear going back wasn't an option but even if it was, his actions then were too much.

[exitseven]

Back in the day before i was married I had a long distance relationship. We only saw each other two or three times a year. I was miserable the whole time. I was even miserable when we were together because I knew it would only be for a week or so. I used to drink heavily.

[Anonymous]

OK total honesty with what I do?

Basically just masturbate and the post-nut clarity helps put things into perspective better.

[Asker]

This was hilarious, mate 😂

[Anonymous]

Not anymore. When I was young idealistic, yeah, but after having a soul-crushing job, I learned none of that bullshit matters.

[Asker]

I guess I just need some growing up to do.. along with it comes experience

[TroyDT]

I don't miss them. I move on to the next lady.

[Asker]

That’s great!!

[Anonymous]

After reading questions like this sometimes I feel good about myself that thank God ! I never had a girlfriend.

And you can now feel better about yourself by reading the above answer. ie at least you had a relationship.

[Asker]

lmao.. being single is way better than being miserable in a toxic relationship hahaha

[Opinion Owner]

So you mean starvation is better than getting a bad tasting food?

[Chance_CMB]

Nothing at all, we break up I let everything go, I let you go try not remember the memories so I won't miss her

[Asker]

That’s nice!

[BlueScorpio]

Nothing, you just let yourself be sad and miss them until the feeling goes away. People try blocking out feelings or moving on too fast instead of letting themselves heal.

[Katyalov]

Remind myself of all the good reasons I dumped him. Makes me stop missing him quick. Often times we think about all the good things in that previous relationship and don’t really think of all the bad things, it’s the bad things that ended it.

[JDAC092299]

Miss? No I don’t miss them but I do get angry remembering them and how much time I gave them and when I do I workout or plan a workout to put the stress and anger towards something productive.

[Anonymous]

Write down the reasons they were NOT good for you. You said the relationships wasn't healthy. Focus on those things and remind yourself why this is for the best.

[dustybiker]

It’s loss. You have to go through the process of letting go.

[Guy13]

Give it 6 months to year rest ⁉️

[Asker]

we did break up like 6 months ago.. so. besides, i'm def over him. i'm not pining after him or anything, i just wish we could go back to being friends is all

[Guy13]

Oh, I see. Friends first and let’s see what happens moving it to next level ⁉️

[Asker]

I don't want to move on to the next level.. that's the point hahaha

I have no intention of starting anything romantic with him again ever, considering I've got a lot going on atm and we were toxic for each other

[Guy13]

Alright. Sure you will find a better fit.

[TacosRAwesome]

I don't. Sometimes I miss the life I had with them but I can do that on my own and maybe with someone else.

[Nikki1989]

I have always been able to move on very quickly. Life is too short to dwell on things.

[Warreain]

Although I'm 15, I used to have a boyfriend. I loved him , but he played tricks on me.2 months ago, I saw him on my way home. At that night, I remembered some memories.

[alicebrownie]

remember the reasons why you aren't together in the first place.

[Agape93]

I text or call him

[Asker]

That might not be a wise idea in my case hahah.. but glad you guys are still in good terms!💜

[Asker]

on good terms*

[Agape93]

Yeap. I'm on good terms with all but one

[Anonymous]

Nothing. They’re an ex for a reason.

[LavLavLuv]

i dont miss him