I’ve had to break things off down two women in the recent years (one was a marriage was possibility) and still deep down respect them. That is I didn’t blame them for my decision and it was agonizingly difficult decision to make. They were decent women and did nothing fundamentally wrong (e. g. cheating, abuse, lying about major issues)
But I think hard before major decisions and I knew there would be likely major trouble with both women in the future. So I knew they would be heartbroken but I did everything respectfully as possible. I did everything face to face while making eye contact and telling them they didn’t do anything wrong as a person. Told I respected them and I meant it. But it was the decision I had to make.
But I never had woman give me anything remotely close to that kind of respect when I got dumped. Instead I was once told straight to my face by a girl who I casually dated (and considered making it more serious) that “When I like someone I well tell them”. She decided to break it off with me and inferred she never told me she “liked me”. She then had f*cking nerve to ask if we could still be “friends”. I told her fuck no of course.
I also was (initially) respectfully dumped by another girl who a few weeks later literally told me “tough luck you’re an ex” when I informed her about a serious health issue I had at the time.
I’ve also had another girl completely ghost me after almost dating for a year after a minor argument (the relationship was getting rocky but still).
Obviously 99% of the time you will never actually “like” anyone you break up with. Rare exception is some sort of kind of tragic romance where you break up with person you “like” because you are pledged to marry someone else.
However you can respect someone you break up with if they never did anything to intentional harm you (abuse, cheating, etc). But from my experience women usually equate likeability with respect.
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1Opinion
I agree you should respect a previous partner but human beings are not robots and cannot be expected to act with perfect consideration for each person when their mind is boggled with daily issues. The woman who said you were an ex might have a defence mechanism against framing her non interest in a gentle way. Some people believe a gentle refusal is a changeable rejection and friendship can only be eliminated by being rude.
Yeah nobody is going to be perfect. Personally I have taken my past negative experiences and tried NOT to do that someone else when the roles are reversed. But some people have this “well I will score one for the team by nasty to this guy because some other guy hurt me.” That’s an extremely immature way to handle it.
But I know I can’t expect other people to treat me well just because I treated others well. It would be nice to rely on karma but you can’t.
Yes, women know the difference between likability and respect as it relates to sexual attraction. Both are required !!