Girls, Me and wife are separated, I want to work things out but she doesn’t. Should I keep trying?

[Lakerfan1]

We’ve been married for over 8 years. I haven’t been the best husband all these years. I’ve gotten violent and verbally abuse at times. She’s been verbally abuse as well. You can say we’ve been toxic towards each other this whole time. She recently came to me saying she wasn’t in love anymore and wanted to separate. I couldn’t believe it, so I looked into our phone records. Found out she’s been seeing someone from work for the last 3 months. I forgave her because I still love her. She says she doesn’t want to work things out and wants to leave to her moms. I don’t want to give up on our marriage so I’ve changed my attitude and been doing nice things for her to win her back but she only get angry when I do. She also hasn’t apologized for her affair. Says she isn’t ready yet. So confused. We still live together and get a long. Sleeping in separate rooms. Asked her if she wants me to let her go. She said she’s confused is probably just used too me.

Should I let her go?

Should I continue to work on our marriage?

[SueShe]

When the situation reaches that level of toxicity, it is best to go each his/her own way.

The only thing that could mend the situation is professional counseling but I do fear that she is not likely to agree with it. It seems that she has drawn a line over your marriage because too many things happened on both sides.

You also know that your change in behavior is only temporary. Be honest with yourself. You would go back to your old self once the situation has settled for long enough and that in appearance, all is for the best. People usually don't learn from their mistakes.

If you don't seek professional help, that means that there is no real will to do something about your relationship and in that case, it is best to let go. Yes people stay together for convenience because it is much easier to live like that than to have to start all over again. Good luck.

[kay1315]

Let her go. She already found someone else and told you how she feels. If she’s confused then that’s her. Let her go and find someone else. Work on yourself and learn from your mistakes and find someone else. Sounds like this relationship is toxic.

[Adaeva]

When women break up in a marriage it is something that she has been unhappy about and thinking about for a year or more. Therefore, her decision will never change so don't waste your time trying.

[DubiousIntentions]

You can't make the sun rise or set. If she wants out then let her go. What is the use of staying in an abusive marriage? They don't seem to get better, only worse.

[Anonymous]

Let her go. Find someone else.

[Lakerfan1]

I still love her. But you’re probably right.